Pride (I) (2014)
[Giving a Speech in a Gay Bar]
Dai: I've had a lot of new experiences during this strike. Speaking in public, standing on a picket line, And now I'm in a gay bar.
Jonathan: Well, if you don't like it, you can go home.
Dai: As a matter of fact, I do like it.
Dai: Beer's a bit expensive, mind.
Dai: But, really, there's only one difference between this and a bar in South Wales. The women. They're a lot more feminine in here.
[the Crowd Laughs and Cheers]
Dai: What I'd really like to say to you tonight is thank you. If you're one of the people that's put money in these buckets, if you've supported LGSM, then thank you, because what you've given us is more than money. It's friendship. When you're in a battle against an enemy so much bigger, so much stronger than you, well, to find out you had a friend you never knew existed, well, that's the best feeling in the world. So, thank you.
[the Crowd Applauds and Cheers Dai and LGSM]
[singing in The Van Driving to Dulais]
Reggie: You can't possibly say that every woman is a lesbian.
Zoe: Why not?
Reggie: Because they're not! Esther Rantzen isn't a lesbian. My mum is not a lesbian.
Stella: How do you know?
Reggie: How do I know my Mum's not a lesbian?
Ray: What he's trying to say is, you can't make grand, sweeping generalizations. It's not acceptable.
Dai: Where are you from?
Gethin: Rhyl, originally.
Dai: [Hefina, Dai and Cliff turn serious] No, no way.
Hefina: [to Johnathan] Listen, we don't mind the gays, and the lesbians, that's fine. But don't you dare be bringing people from North Wales down here!
[an awkward silence follows and they all laugh]
[while Dancing in the Lodge in Dulais]
Jonathan: God! I miss disco!
[Talking to the receptionist of a Record Company]
Receptionist: There are no gay artists on this label. I'm sorry.
Mark: They don't have to be gay. That's the point. This is a coming together of all different people...
[Phone Rings, The Receptionist Answers and Shoo's Mike and Mark Away]
Mark: [as They Leave the Building, Mark Runs Off to the Side]
Mike: What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?
[Mark is Writing on the Wall Underneath Two Posters]
Mark: That's the number for Gay Switchboard. You never know. One of them might need it one day.
[the Two Posters are Revealed to Be of Soft Cell and Elton John]
[as Mark Leaves to Go to The March]
Mark's Crotchety Old Neighbour: I've spoken to the council about your deviant parties.
Mark: There's no need to do that. Knock on the door, we'd let you in.
Mark's Crotchety Old Neighbour: They're sending a policeman!
Mark: Oh, I do hope so.
Bromley: I've never met a lesbian before
Steph: Really? I've never met anyone who irons their jeans.
Bromley: I live at home.
Steph: No shit! Is that where you got that lovely brooch?
[Bromley Hastily Removes a "Happy Birthday" Pin]
Bromley: That's embarrassing. It's today.
Steph: What are you? Ten?
Bromley: I'm twenty.
Steph: I wouldn't go spreading that around.
[Bromley Looks Confused]
Steph: You're illegal, darling. Sixteen for the breeders. Twenty-one for the gays. Did you learn nothing on that march? You're *still* a minor.
Steph: Victory to the Minors.
Reggie: Nobody said anything about hiding who we are.
Mark: Yes, they did. You.
Reggie: I just think if everybody takes it easy on the...
Reggie: We're more likely to fit in.
Jonathan: I'm sorry, just to be clear, when you say "flamboyance", you mean gay. And when you say "everyone", you mean me.
Jonathan: Good. It's just I haven't spoken 1950s in quite a while.
Hefina: What the hell do you think you're doing?
Carl: Just talking to Kev about something.
Hefina: You can talk to Kev any day of the week. Get over there and find a gay or a lesbian right now.
Carl: Look, Hefina, I've shaken their hands, I've bought them a pint. See? I don't wanna labor the point, do I? I might, you know, give them the wrong impression.
Hefina: [Sarcastically] Oh, Right. Because you're so bloody irresistible, is that it, Carl Evans?
Hefina: [Seriously] Listen to me, I've seen you dancing round my backyard with no clothes on since you were this high, and I can tell you right now, these gays have thrown better away.
[Explaining Why Lee and Carl Have Been Illegally Arrested]
Jonathan: A police officer has the right to stop you if - that's the important word here - *if* he has reasonable grounds to believe a crime is gonna be committed.
Dai: Are you absolutely sure about this?
Jonathan: Police harassment, dear. I could set it to music.
Sian: And if he does?
Jonathan: Then he must formally charge you within 24 hours of that arrest. But reasonable grounds means concrete evidence that can stand up in court. It doesn't mean he doesn't like the look of you. That's the same whether you're standing on a picket line or trolling down Clapham High Street in full drag.
[Snooping Around Jonathan and Gethin's Spare Room]
Hefina: What I want to know is...
[Pulls Out a Pink Dildo]
Hefina: What's this?
[Hefina, Sian, Margaret, Gwen and Gail All Start Laughing]
Sian: Hefina! Put That Back Immediately!
Hefina: That's nothing. Here, look what else I've found.
Margaret: You never went under his bed!
[Pulls Out a Gay Porno Mag, Women Start Laughing Harder]
Hefina: When was the last time you saw anything like that, huh? When? When?
[Cut to Gethin and Jonathan Trying to Sleep in Their Room, Women Hysterically Laughing Coming in from the Other Room]
Jonathan: Don't those women ever sleep?
[Cut Back to The Women in The Spare Room]
Hefina: Jesus God that takes me back!
[Hysterical Laughter Continues]
Hefina: [laughing while holding a dildo in one hand and a gay magazine in the other] Jesus God that takes me back!
Journalist 2: And why should gay people like me support the miners?
Mark: Because miners dig for coal, which produces power, which allows gay people like you to dance to Bananarama till 3 o'clock in the morning.
Joe: The thing is I'm actually from Bromley.
Mike: Well, don't worry about that. We're a broad church.
Mark: [on the phone trying to find a band for the Pits & Perverts ball] It's a fund-raising concert, and we're lookin' for bands to... no! No! No, no, no, I am in no way suggesting that Sting, or indeed any other member of The Police, is a pervert.
Gwen: [as the LGSM coalition arrives in Wales] Dai? Your gays have arrived.
Mark: And we've got a name: LGSM. Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners.
Steph: It's not very catchy.
Mark: It's a support group, Steph, not a skiffle band.