- Bonnie: This is a pretty top.
- Christy: Actually that's a party dress from back when I was drinking.
- Bonnie: Were you drinking when you bought it?
- Christy: I honestly don't remember. I hate all my clothes, it's all Halloween and Slutsylvania. I'm not that kind of girl anymore.
- Bonnie: [holds up red plastic dress] Hello, what kind of girl were you when you wore this?
- Christy: Popular.
- Christy: [speaking frantically] When I quit drinking I used have all these feelings that I didn't know how to work through them so I dealt with them by eating. Every night after work I'd come home and I'd take a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips and
- [hits the table]
- Christy: hit them with a book until they were just crumbs and mix them in with a half gallon of vanilla ice cream. I gained 18 pounds in one month, one night I woke up and thought there was a cat on my lap, I looked down, it was my own stomach.
- [pause]
- Christy: I don't think I can do this.
- [gets up and rushes out of the restaurant]
- Adam: [to the waitress] This is our first date.
- [fingers crossed]
- Violet: I'm supposed to be excited that she's going out with some random guy?
- Bonnie: Hey missy, your mom going out with some random guy is the only reason you're even here. And I'll tell you something else, if you mom doesn't find a man, she is going to be one of those crazy women with 20 cats living with their daughter, and you will be chasing her down the street pinning her robe shut.
- Bonnie: [after Violet loans Christy her dress for a date] Look at you being a good daughter. Tell you what, as a reward, I'll watch Roscoe and you can go out with Luke.
- Violet: Really? Don't you have plans for the night?
- Bonnie: Nope, at my age, when you have sex in the afternoon, you are good for the rest of the day.
- [spins around]
- Bonnie: Why are you freaking out? You know how to do this.
- Christy: I know how to do this drunk. This is my first date sober.
- Bonnie: What about your boss?
- Christy: I wouldn't call what Gabriel and I do dating, it's just having sex in uncomfortable places.
- Bonnie: I hope you mean broom closets.
- Christy: Yes.
- [thinks about it, realizes what Bonnie means, disgustedly]
- Christy: Oh God, Mom!
- Bonnie: [sternly] Alright, listen to me, teen Jesus. I want you to return my granddaughter by 11 PM with her hymen intact.
- Luke: What?
- Bonnie: [grins] I'm just screwing with you, you already knocked her up, do whatever you want!
- Luke: [to Violet] I know she was just saying that to be funny but I just peed a little.