- Dwight: I'm done pissing him off. I was just tryin' to get under his skin so that he'd slip up and let us know where they're uploading their footage. I can have Jennifer diggin' through those files by the time we get to the station.
- Nathan: Jennifer can do that?
- Dwight: As far as I can tell, everyone younger than me can do that.
- Duke Crocker: [Discussing the potential threat of the arrival of a Hollywood ghost-hunter crew in town] OK, OK, We've all seen "Real Bigfoot Housewives." Nobody takes these conspiracy guys seriously.
- Seth Byrne: How many gas leaks does a small fishing village need to have before they get new pipes?
- Duke: So, is this your first time destroying a supernatural monster with a magical book?