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129 out of 196 people found the following review useful:

One of the worst movies I've ever watched...

1/10
Author: MediaboyMusings from Canada
15 September 2014

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Kevin Smith, whose repeated threats in recent years of permanently exiting the world of filmmaking have taken on the dubious credibility of retirement announcements from, say, most classic rock bands, has apparently found his creative mojo once again with the batsh*t crazy Tusk. Smith's previous film, 2011's Red State, was justifiably poorly received by critics and audiences, souring him even further on the filmmaking process. Then in 2013, a bizarre discussion on an episode of Smith's SModcast podcast hastily inspired him to write and direct Tusk, a high-concept movie (in more ways than one, I'm sure) that can be summarized with one sentence: Los Angeles podcaster visits Manitoba and gets kidnapped by a lunatic who turns him into a walrus. Still with me? Smith, during the film's second TIFF screening I attended after its world premiere the night before, joked that he had reached the point in his career where "I don't give a fu*k anymore", but just because Smith has reached a bitter crossroads in his career that's resulted in quite literally one of the worst movie experiences I've ever sat through doesn't mean you should also be subjected to the man's lack of impulse control.

Two main things drew me to Tusk: 1) I was a modest fan of most of Smith's work (which you probably can't tell from the contempt being leveled at him in this review, but that just speaks to the permanently scarring effects of this abomination) and 2) the film is mostly set in Manitoba and promised plenty of Canadian references and jokes. The humour, like almost everything else in Tusk, never works, however. I can count on one hand the number of times I laughed during the film and I was surprised, frankly, that Smith, a man with both a sharp wit and an extensive knowledge of this country (as he'll gladly point out any chance he gets about the latter), stooped to such lazy and predictable jokes about not loving hockey and the word "aboot". Johnny Depp shows up briefly to chew scenery as Guy Lapointe, a quirky Quebec detective constructed entirely of French-Canadian stereotypes that become tiresome very quickly. For further evidence of the film's humour deficiency, the name of the comedy podcast hosted by protagonist Wallace Bryton (played by Justin Long, who goes heavy on the douchebaggery) and his sidekick, Teddy (played by The Sixth Sense's Haley Joel Osment), is "The Not-See Party", whose theme finds the hosts making fun of people they've read about or seen on the internet. That kind of half-assed and witless screen writing also extends to key plot points, like the one that conveniently allows Wallace to contact his friends after being kidnapped by the deranged Howard Howe (played by Michael Parks, who's decent performance is the only thing remotely redeemable about the movie). I could go on about how the supposed big payoff of seeing Wallace transformed into a walrus disappoints mightily with shoddy special effects (the sight of him is slightly disturbing, but not Human Centipede-level disturbing), or how the tease of some much-needed action at the movie's end is practically over before it begins, or how the dreadful final scene provided a fitting end to this turd of a film…but I'm sure you've gotten my point. As I write this, I've gotten six days of distance from watching Tusk and having to revisit it for this review has genuinely made me feel, well, annoyed.

That annoyance was felt during the screening, too, as a packed audience heavy on Smith fanboys and fangirls at the sizable Bloor Hot Docs Cinema inexplicably laughed and cheered throughout the movie. Normally I stick around for festival Q & A sessions, but as the credits rolled and Tusk was met with rapturous applause, I couldn't head for the exits quickly enough to get as far away as possible from Kevin Smith and anyone who thought his latest film was worthy of such adoration. And fair warning: Smith has two more films in the pipeline that'll complete what he's calling his "True North Trilogy". Yoga Hosers is currently shooting and centres around the pair of surly teenage girl convenience store clerks (played by Smith's and Depp's daughters) that get about five minutes of forgettable screen time in Tusk, to be followed by a Jaws-inspired movie about a killer moose. God help us all.

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177 out of 314 people found the following review useful:

Kevin Smith makes Human Centipede

1/10
Author: Puffer Bluntman
5 December 2014

I haven't enjoyed a moment of this movie.

I am sick to death of torture porn and I'm sick to death of critics claiming these movies to be "social commentary" on all sorts of things. And man do critics love that sort of shtick, starting with Salo and ending with Red State.

And people saying that this movie is not to be taken seriously - you know, when a movie is bad, it's not necessarily 'ironically bad', sometimes it's just bad.

When something is funny - I don't have to pretend it's funny and go into it with a certain mindset. Like I don't have to look at this sick crap and pretend that it is somehow funny.

It's too silly to be a horror flick and too disturbing to be a comedy. It's like a bad joke.

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42 out of 60 people found the following review useful:

You Will Not Like This Movie

8/10
Author: mjschwar-1 from United States
20 February 2015

The very definition of "not for everyone", Tusk is an oddball, absurd, twisted midnight movie that plays more like a demented fever dream than a horror or comedy film. I'd never recommend it to anyone I intend to ever speak to again.

Here are the reasons why you won't like it:

1) It's unexpectedly surreal, with little interest in the laws of reality, or at least modern medicine and police work. And it's not directed in an obviously surreal, arty fashion like, say, a David Lynch picture, which makes it even harder to wrap your head around.

2) It's got an odd tone. There's comedy, sure, but it's mostly a slower, more cringe- inducing variety than Kevin Smith is typically known for. There's suspense, and a bit of gross-out, but the film evokes more unease than outright scares, and the grotesqueries are more evocative of a nightmare after eating one too many sliders than, say, Saw. And it swings freely between the two with no warning at all.

3) You haven't seen Tod Browning's "Freaks", a classic bit of cult cinema that Smith has made references to in other films. In fact, you probably don't even know it exists. (Cinephiles will notice rather direct references to many of Kev-O's other favorite movies as well, including Silence of the Lambs and Jaws.)

4) You're Canadian, and your country and culture are No Laughing Matter.

If for some reason none of the above applies to you, may I recommend "Tusk"? It's oddball, gonzo, at times self indulgent and slow, but also occasionally very funny and strangely thought-provoking, provided you're willing to go along for the ride. It'll make an impression...especially if your short-term memory "isn't what it used to be."

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63 out of 103 people found the following review useful:

Wow

Author: Red_Identity from United States
5 December 2014

Between this and Red State, Smith really doesn't seem to have any idea of how to mix comedy and horror well together. All he knows how to do is make one half of each film horror and the other half comedy without successfully finding a balance. Tusk's first half is better than all of Red State, but that second half is just... wow. Depp usually annoys me and this was no exception. Parks was very good but ultimately one can't rise above this sort of material. Oh sure, much of the first half was effective and so I'm giving it points for that, but wow as it goes on. Nonsensical dialogue that doesn't work and preposterous scenes that aren't amusing or funny.

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73 out of 124 people found the following review useful:

Do not waste your money!!

1/10
Author: nomass73 from United States
30 September 2014

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Semi-Spoiler (But not really)

Horrible movie, My wife and I walked out before the end. First it was boring with predictable jokes and plots. Then after a half hour you just get to listen to Justin Log scream for the rest of the movie.... That I saw anyway!! Do not waste your time!!, wait till it's free somewhere. Truly sad, I am a fan of Kevin Smith's work but this was off the mark!

I hope the next horror movie that Kevin Creates is worth the time to see it!!

If you truly have nothing else to do and no where else to go and looking to waste money..... just burn the cash!

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56 out of 98 people found the following review useful:

Read my spoiler review now so you'll know why to avoid this movie

1/10
Author: chris-832
6 December 2014

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

So Wallas has been missing for three days, and his two friends each receive a creepy phone message that he has been abducted and his life is in danger. Wouldn't the immediate action be to go to the local police, file a report, and start getting cell phone records of the last broadcast location? Instead we see the two flying out to Canada, making a few stops, talking to some people, and then going to the police. And they just brush it off instead of, again, doing the obvious thing and finding the last location of the cell phone. One simple throw-away line ("We can request the records, but it may take days") would have sufficed. Instead, we're led to believe that all of these people are operating in a world of technology from 1955.

And when they do find the car half-sunken in a nearby stream, nobody's first reaction is to immediately call the police to send out a search party. Don't any of these people have cell phones with roaming capabilities? Clearly there's a cell tower nearby if their friend was able to use his phone.

How could they have made this whole f-ing movie, and not one person ever brought up this painfully obvious point?

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44 out of 76 people found the following review useful:

Kevin Smith is an Asshole

1/10
Author: madelinebelfonte from United States
22 December 2014

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I'm just going to list the reasons this movie is bad:

-The concept for this movie isn't really good. Many times with horror movies you hear, "oh, it was a good concept, though," but with this movie, even the concept doesn't really make sense. A guy wants to turn another guy into the walrus that "saved him" as a young man. What?

-This movie contains a ridiculous amount of dialogue. It's a horror movie; it doesn't require that much dialogue.

-Justin Long does not belong in horror movies.

-There's a pretty significant gap in this movie. We go from Justin Long with no legs and arms fused to shoulders to full on Justin Long in walrus suit. I mean, the walrus suit was discussed in earlier parts of the movie, but I feel like I missed something. There was no scene where Justin Long was being put into the walrus suit. It just left me confused.

-Speaking of the walrus suit - it is made of random pieces of people. All of the pieces appear to be in similar states of decomposition, which doesn't make sense. We know he didn't kill every one at once. Also, isn't he trying to make Justin Long look like a walrus? When he's in the suit, he looks more like a quilt than a walrus.

-Speaking of the body parts - at the end of the movie, Justin Long decides to stay a walrus... What? Why would you want to stay a walrus? And not even just the suit, he wants live in a walrus habitat and eat raw fish. Dude, I get that your sort of stuck like that, but why go, as the movie puts it, "full walrus?"

-Speaking of the fact that he wants to stay a walrus - I don't think he legally can stay a walrus. This suit he is in is made out of murdered people. Isn't that evidence? Wouldn't you have to ask the family if you can keep the arm skin or face (yes, there are faces on it) of your loved on that's been killed? This one really got to me... this doesn't seem legal. And also, even if he didn't want to be fixed, wouldn't they try to remove the walrus suit since it contains the human remains of murder victims?

-Johnny Depp is in this movie. Why does he have such a small part?

-Justin Long's character is such an asshole. Why did his friends even go after him?

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20 out of 29 people found the following review useful:

You'll find yourself saying 'What am I watching' more than once

7/10
Author: catofnimes
19 March 2015

Well what can I say, Tusk is a film of it's own. The premise of the film is Justin Long being turned into a patch- work walrus. It is a hit or miss film, you either love it or hate it.

Justin Longs acting in this film is great, but the film had a lot of jumping around and doesn't feel fluid with it's character arcs. It aims to be a dark comedy and I did find myself chuckling at some parts in the film, I equally found myself saying 'What am I watching' just as often. There isn't really much character development in the movie, but you do grow attached to Justin Longs character by the end of the film. The actual walrus when you see it is slightly disturbing.

I genuinely felt slightly upset at the end of the film, but I felt as though the film could have been written better. If there was a more fluid feel to the scenes, and more development on the characters then this film would be getting better ratings.

The overall story is original, the acting is great, but as a final product it feels very rushed and choppy. I enjoyed tusk and think that it is underrated and being played off as 'too weird'

Yes, it's a weird film but it's trying to be different and is a nice change of pace from most horror films these days. If you want a film that will make you genuinely say 'WTF' at the end, tusk is for you. If you're going into this film expecting a good horror film, you're going to be disappointed.

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32 out of 53 people found the following review useful:

I agree with many others - don't waste your time or money!

1/10
Author: Kate Cook from Canada
24 December 2014

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

You gotta be kidding. What was this? I know everyone is looking for something new, fresh, different in their story lines but this wasn't it.

This movie is really bad in every way. It was listed as a comedy/drama/horror. Definitely labelled incorrectly. Maybe a fantasy/horror, even though it did not instill fear. Not fair to release a movie and list it as something it is not as the viewers expect something totally different and they don't get it. If I want to view a comedy I expect it to be one.

And I know this is a very small point and does not affect the outcome in any way but I am so tired of watching movies that when taking place in Canada they have all Canadians speaking as if they were in the movie Fargo. Small or large I would at least try to make everything as accurate as possible. If a movie has a lot of errors it gives one the impression it was just thrown together. It was very distracting listening to the ridiculous fake accent. Maybe this was the comedy portion.

The worst ending possible. There were many ways this movie could have ended. Are we to believe this is how everyone's life continued? No attempt made to correct anything? Why not just stop the movie half way through.

Justin Long sure has been in a lot of stinker movies as of late. He should be more careful when choosing work in the future or his career will soon be gone.

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33 out of 59 people found the following review useful:

Really bad DO NOT WASTE MONEY!!!

1/10
Author: Megan Chamberlin from United States
6 December 2014

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This is one of the worst movies i've ever seen. Very unrealistic, and just really unusual. The walrus the serial killer creates towards the end looks very unrealistic and also some of the situations in the movie are very unrealistic such as when Wallace is calling his girlfriend saying that he needs help. Wouldn't you think he would be calling 911 before anyone else? Also at the end of the movie Wallace is put into a zoo.. I don't think that he would live through any of that and even if he did, why would they put a human being who was turned into a walrus into a zoo? I don't know how this was ever put into theaters. I'm warning you, do not waste your money or time on this.

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