We'll Never Have Paris (2014) Poster

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Trailer A+, Movie Z-
Ben Symington27 April 2015
My First review, I had to bring this to peoples attention… The most disappointing thing about this movie is that the trailer looks exceptional while the movie falls flat.

My wife and I chose this unfortunate choice over a choice of 3 other "RomComs", needless to say we chose the wrong one. Helberg should stay in the Sitcoms where he is not the headliner, his breathing in the movie is very distracting and the acting is somewhat painful to watch.

In the end I decided 15 minutes before the end that I could not take it anymore and went to bed….. early.

There were a few mildly funny bits but the movie tends to distract from this very quickly with the serious notes.
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The best parts are the subtle ones
Ole Sandbaek Joergensen26 January 2015
This is not ranking high on comedy actually, it is mostly just passing time with a couple of good scenes here and there, but overall it is not that funny. I think the best parts are subtle ones, with small funny statements, or incidents and not the typical hurt yourself or crash into something that this has most of.

Simon Helberg has some way to go, but it is a good attempt it is just not as funny as I had expected from him. His part is really good, he is very insecure and messes up a lot of stuff, he plays his role very well. His farther played by Alfred Molina is also a good character. But I don't think the rest contribute much to the great parts of this movie unfortunately.
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Excruciating watch.
squidantics4 February 2015
This took me three goes to get through. The writing feels so self-centered, characters are lacking depth while the lead is annoying to watch..a hypo, fumbling idiot. The film offers no opportunity to connect with the characters, which is a shame considering it's based on a true story.

The comedy feels forced, but with more work on some of the gags and general tightening of the editing and pacing, some of it would have come across better.

Soundtrack and cinematography were forgettable.

It felt like a pet project that wasn't meant for wider distribution, maybe something you show your friends...."remember that time when my relationship went bad, and stuff happened?"
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A one note story
zif ofoz11 February 2015
How many times can you show the same situation over and over? This little movie shows how and switching the location from New York City to Paris, France didn't improve the movie.

Quinn (Helberg) has the girl Devon (Lynskey) right where he wants her so he can propose marriage. Of course a distraction occurs and the proposal doesn't happen. Poor Quinn has other girls lusting for him. Poor Quinn can't say no. This is most of the movie. Quinn chasing Devon, girls chasing Quinn, and it gets boring.

I think Helberg over did the simple plot and character because at a couple of points I was ready to quit the movie. On the plus side there actually is some very nice dialog between characters in a few scenes.

If you want a silly boy gets girl, boy looses girl, boy gets girl story this might fill your need.
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Absolutely Abysmal
fridgette20 June 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I gave this movie a 3 because I really like Melanie Lynskey & I was excited to see Judith Light. I was only going to give it a 2, but Melanie was really delightful. I found the character "Quinn" beyond infuriating.

The closing scene, where she is upset (but calm) & he has a FIT & is begging & screaming at her feet....unbelievably annoying. While this might be cute for some people, I found it disgusting. Behavior like that might be endearing the first or second time, but after ten years it will be the foremost issue in their relationship. Why? Because when she is upset he doesn't comfort her, he freaks out & forces her to comfort him. She never gets heard or comforted, she gets to spend the relationship in a cycle of him being the victim of every sick decision he makes. You can't create the situation & then claim to be a victim of it.

My spouse & I were horrified that this was labeled as "romance".
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Awkward with intermittent passages of funny
scurvytoon26 January 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Simon Helberg wrote and co-directed this tale of a shlamazel with self esteem issues, a touch of OCD and a healthy dose of hypochondria. One suspects if Woody Allen had made this film it would have had better fleshed out supporting characters and the long term live-in girlfriend could have still worked if a better actress had been cast. As it is Melanie Lynksey's Devon is played with a constant scowl and annoyed unpleasant disconnected manner more befitting of a drama than a slapstick comedy. Kelsey the rebound prospect as played by Maggie Grace is brilliant and perfect for this genre, being the mad fly in the ointment of Quinn's plans. Sadly her contribution along with those of others including Quinn's father are poorly connected to Quinn's central character. The only other person who's role in the film was properly thought out is the best mate who's always there for support and advice. It's clear the rest of the script wasn't properly thought out or bound up before filming, which damages an otherwise great idea.

We'll never have Paris aspires to be Manhattan and misses the mark by just enough to make it a bit of a drag in between gags. The saving graces of the film are Helberg's consummate Jewish man/boy and the brilliant soundtrack of French songs that given the fact most people won't understand them, serves well to give the film a light atmosphere in the same way jazz was used to great effect by another neurotic writer director.

If you're going to make a film like this, make sure the hero ends up with the girl who is at least a bit sympathetic. By the end of the film Quinn has clearly succumbed to his fears and wears down the woman who is more mother than lover. Perhaps there is an element of reality in as much as Devon is well into married life without the benefit of having ever been asked. If you're intent on making her the prize at the end, her role needed to be written/acted with more effort than the sleepwalk we were treated to.

We'll never have Paris could have been so much better and is proof that comedy without timing and empathy is only ever painful at best. You wish there was a reset button because it's almost there but for better casting and some fine tuning. I look forward to seeing Simon Helberg's next effort as I'm sure it has to be better than this.
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A Spiral of Regressions Cementing a Boy-Mother Relationship
dusty-1004112 May 2015
Warning: Spoilers
The story is about an immature boy (Quinn) who lives in an awkward child-mother relationship (Devon). Although this situation is unhealthy for both of them, keeping stuck into this seems comfortable for them.

When Quinn is sexually attracted by some girlie (Kelsey) who is surely unfitting for him as well and would doubtlessly take advantage of him as soon as she is able to, he seems to question his platonic relationship with Devon.

However, this (to some degree) healthy development brings up guilt and fear so he regresses to a boy who seeks forgiveness by his mother in place (Devon) who basically turns away from him.

After some back and forth between Devon, Kelsey and some others Devon moves to Paris to her grandparents where she meets some french guy (Guillaume).

Afterwards we see some more boyish behavior from Quinn who tries to win Devon back which is to some part successful, however, there is then some tumult where everything gets very awkward and clumsy and it seems Devon is lost for Quinn.

Out of the blue Devon travels back to the US where she tells Quinn that she came back for him - perhaps she misses her mother feelings? So he proposes to her and right after that Quinn regresses again and seeks for forgiveness for sleeping with another woman.

After some back and forth (again!) Devon forgives him and takes him as his man-child.

Wow - I can only hope that the "true story" behind this cinematographic awkwardness is based on very loose events.

But what I wonder is: What is Hollywood trying to tell us with this film? I mean, many other pictures tells us about the so-called development to a man, where the relationship or some girl makes someone a man which enables so-called real love. Although this is also a silly cliché, to some degree it makes some sense to me: At least the "man" is the hero and the new hero will try everything to fulfill his girls dreams. Of course, he is still his mother's child, however, this dynamic is socially accepted and widely believed to be the ideal of any relationship.

But this film seems to transport the awkward ideal of marrying his mother and I wonder whoever would like this?
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Could Have been Good with a Good Lead Character
danew1327 January 2015
Warning: Spoilers
The problem with someone over reaching himself is demonstrated in We'll Never Have Paris. Simon Helberg, who wrote and directed the film, is the most unlikeable tweeb lead character I have ever seen. He makes Woody Allen seem like Hercules.

His performance is so annoying and frustrating you can't wait for him to be off the screen. To make matters worse, the other characters are so shallow they want you to have Helberg back on the screen.

Here's a guy going with a girl for nine years, living with her, sleeping with her and yet he hasn't the nerve to propose. Then every time gets the nerve he seems compelled to admit his infidelities. Talk about stupid clichés. As far as his lover, it is mind boggling why a rather sophisticated woman would be attracted him even though being childhood sweethearts.

The best part of this unfunny comedy is the few scenic Paris scenes.
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Not that bad
palavitsinis16 March 2015
Loving his from the Big Bang Theory, I went to watch this movie with Simon Helberg. I have to say that I was surprised by the IMDb rating at the beginning, and once the movie was over, I could not explain why it is so low. If I had the option I would give it a 6.5. I loved this movie cause it was a real story. It was funny at times and the only thing I could say about that is that I would expect it to be even more funnier given the fact that Simon is a really really comic figure. I did not care for the guy playing his friend at all. His fiancée in the movie performed brilliantly as all the other members of the cast.

On the downside again, it was kind of a slow movie and could have used some more action, or a quicker progression of everything. The one thing I really loved though, and it's the only reason why I would suggest the movie, is the depiction of the character by Helberg. He is not the macho kind of the lover and the usual love story where everything happens as expected. He depicts a loving guy that also messes things up big time and a lot. He makes mistakes and once he tries to correct them, it does not work out for the best every time. For all these reasons, this is a really down-to-earth movie and realistic that I would definitely watch.
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lovely little movie
letyw10 June 2015
I don't believe in the low rates people gave to this film. It is an cute romantic comedy, but apparently people like nonsense like Nicholas Sparks and 50 shades of Gray :(

Both actors are believable and endearing. the whole story could happen to anyone deeply in love and this is what makes the film so adorable. I really enjoy watching it.

Oh, and the soundtrack is great too and there are great shots of Paris. Simon Helberg has a great comic timing (we know that from TBBT!) and Melanie Lynskey is one of my favourite actress.

It's really funny to think that this is a fictional version of something that really happened to Simon and his wife.
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Unlikable, but not worthless
Ryan Prince6 February 2015
-We'll Never Have Paris is a limited release film about a loser who, after dating a girl for 10 years, decides to finally propose. He then is almost unintentionally drawn into two different relationships, causing his girl to run away for Paris and hi to go after her and beg her forgiveness.

-I saw it because Zachary Quinto was in it. Really that is the only reason. What I got was not a terrible movie, but it not that good.

-The story would be cliché, cheesy, predictable, and over-the-top rom-com. However it is actually based on a true story, which is one of the best things the film has going for it.

-The pace was not great, but I did not find it slow, just uneven.

-The acting was a balance between good and bad. So yeah. It stars the guy who plays Howard Walawitz, and he did a fine job. The girl did a fine job. The daughter from taken did a fine job. And Zachary Quinto did a fine job. But nobody was more than just fine.

-The characters are interesting to watch and entertainingly inconsistent, but most of the supporting characters don't seem to serve much of a purpose. Another problem with them is that you don't like any of them.

-The music was interesting. Most of it was French, but they only spent the last 1/3rd of the film in France, so it did not seem to really fit that much.

-So one of the worst things about the film is that it I a comedy, but I only laughed once in the entire film. It is also a 'romantic' movie, with only one romantic moment. So it really did not succeed at what it was trying to be.

-Also, We'll Never Have Paris is rated-R and would have been the same or better if it were PG-13. It has some language in it, but not consistently harsh. It also has a strong PG-13 amount of sexual content.

-So We'll Never Have Paris has a few small elements, like a good finale, that are entertaining, but it really did not succeed as a comedy or a romantic movie. Combine that with characters you don't really like and you get a film you have no attachment to. I'm going to say that We'll Never Have Paris really just isn't worth the time.
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A masterpiece in indecision and klutziness
jackiecouchman30 June 2014
I think it's fair to say that most of us have known a Quinn-type character; excessively nervous, inclined to exhibit OCD tendencies, intelligent but inarticulate, lovable but not obviously attractive. Helberg couldn't be other than he acts himself, could he? His character is played out perfectly and hilariously. If only the same could be said for the other characters, most of which hardly got off the starting blocks. Major opportunities were missed to explore the supporting characters and their motives; maybe other movies will follow to redress this omission? Favourite moment has to be when Quinn realises that his dream "model" girl isn't at all compatible with him and his reaction to those deal-breaking traits. A funny, watchable movie which was exactly the length it needed to be. I would like to see a sequel which told us what happened next to Quinn and perhaps also what happened next to the other main characters, Devon, Kelsey, Jameson, Kurt and Terry (or maybe a retrospective for him).
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Not bad at all
harelives8 January 2018
It's not a bad movie nor a great one. Though it's a common plot, it has it's own uniqueness. I'm not totally OK with the casting though. But the music and the flow kept be bounded throughout.
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The Comedy That Feels Like It Will Never End
lavatch2 December 2017
Warning: Spoilers
"We'll Never Have Paris" was aspiring to be an old-fashioned romantic comedy that is often called "screwball" comedy. Unfortunately, the film wasn't funny, and the main problem was the lack of chemistry between the two romantic leads.

From the outset, Quinn and Devon seemed completely incompatible. He was a shy jazz musician and florist. She was a university professor. Quinn's main problem was getting up the gumption to propose to Devon. They were high school sweethearts who have now lived together for years. Yet through it all, they apparently have never discussed the topic of marriage. The filmmakers fail to squeeze any comic mileage out of this stupid situation.

The film begins with Quinn being diagnosed with an eye condition. But Quinn's problems go well beyond his eyes. He is a terrible communicator and is always putting his foot in his mouth. As Devon observes, "Your idea of self-deprecation is everybody else's idea of narcissism."

Apart from Devon's snappy line above, the dialogue was not very humorous. There was even a tacky joke made about 9/11. Devon's love of Flaubert and sophisticated culture made her a perfect fit for the French violinist Guillaume, whom she meets in Paris.

The characters in this film were poorly developed, serving as placeholders rather than actual human beings. For example, in Quinn's brief romance with Kelsey, it was never clear what exactly Kelsey, Quinn's co-worker in the flower shop, ever saw in Quinn to try to disrupt his relationship with Devon.

Devon's attempt to escape to Paris is thwarted when Quinn follows her to try to "win her back." But was never clear how Quinn actually does win Devon back. There was no attempt to portray the aftermath of the Paris scenes and why Devon did not marry Guillaume.

Overall, the film was embarrassing as a comedy, as the jokes were flat, the situations were implausible, and the characters never really connected. Yet, somehow, this film was "inspired by real events." In the making of "We'll Never Have Paris," something went terribly wrong in the translation of life into art.
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Funny and sweet
Carolina Pennisi30 August 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I think people expected something else out of this film, that's the only thing that would explain such poor ratings. Maybe it isn't the greatest romantic comedy in the history of cinematography but to me it was a very funny, sweet story about two people that love each other, one of them is clearly insecure and makes some baaad choices and so hilarity ensues. In terms of the humor: I loved the awkwardness, in the sense that I felt the embarrassment Quinn was going through at certain times. Quinto as Jameson (Quinn's friend) is lovely. The soundtrack is -as Guillaume would say- "super". I felt like an intruder eavesdropping on one of the most pathetic moments is someone's life and to know that it actually happened in real life only makes me giggle even more. On the negative side I would say that the heartbreak the couple went through didn't have the same honesty as other aspects of the story and I did expect more from the ending, it felt too weak for all the trouble he went through to get her back... Anyway as a whole the movie left me smiling. It was very nicely done.
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Humorous and Entertaining
Moviegoer1921 March 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I feel compelled to write this review just to counter some of the negative statements in other reviews. I actually enjoyed this film quite a bit, and I must say, had more than a few laughs. While I'm not someone who likes slapstick, which there wasn't much of here, I love sarcasm, and this film had its sarcastic moments.

We'll Never Have Paris is an ironic title because I, for one, felt the best part of the film was when they were in Paris. There were some truly satiric moments, for example when Quinn was standing against a wall, beneath a street sign, smoking, and then huffing his way up the church steps. Likewise in the cemetery. All these scenes were mocking well-known scenes from French films of the past.

I found the character of Quinn interesting and likable, if not annoying at times... similar to Woody Allen, as others have noted. Simon Helberg has much in common with WA, as the nerdy/smart, slender/not too handsome Jewish man who is sexy nonetheless. I found his relationship with Devon believable though I think there should have been a bit more about why she ultimately made her choice.

I loved how Quinn knew he didn't want to be with Kelsey by his focusing in on the gross details in her bathroom... The film had a few other details like this which, though they may have been obvious, really worked, like when he, in the context of competing with another man for the woman he loved, was given a footstool to sit on at the dinner table.

I think if you like humor that's both subtle and sarcastic, you'll like this film which, to me, is both romantic and funny.
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Don't Waste Your Time
macrobin-9908519 December 2017
This is one of the worst movies I've ever watched and I'll never get those hours back. If this is what Simon's work is like, he needs to stick to just acting and playing the piano, which he does best. Really crappy movie!
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Not great, but interesting
vincentlynch-moonoi17 April 2017
Warning: Spoilers
To my surprise, I actually feel relatively positive about this film. ANd, it has helped me change my mind about Simon Helberg. When Helberg first came to my attention in "The Bag Bang Theory", his character was pretty much a perv, and that was a turn-off for me. Then over the first few seasons they modified the character to be much more likable. But seeing him here, in a film he wrote and starred in, I'm rather impressed.

Now that's not to say this is a "great" movie. But it's quite good. And clearly Helberg is a multi-talented man. And, here we literally get to see him in his big boy pants! ;-) Helberg comes across well as a sort of hypochondriac character with low esteem. I wasn't thrilled by Melanie Lynskey as his eventual fiancé, and I couldn't decide if I disliked her acting, or if it was just that I though Helber's character deserved better in a fiancé. I'm not quite clear why Alfred Molina, Judith Light, and Fritz Weaver accepted roles here...their screen time is absolutely minimal, and they are each very good actors.

It's not great. It's nothing special. But I found it interesting. And I'm guessing we'll see lots more of Helberg...although he doesn't have the body to be a great film star. It will be an interesting career.
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Generally good.
somersetboy5 December 2015
I am perplexed at the low IMDb score. So I have offered to spend a few minutes in a bid to rectify this wrong!

Simon Helberg is good in the role. Few of the other actors fall short. The script could have been better developed. It is actually quite alright. Melanie Lynskey is also quite all right, even though the viewer is initially not made to connect with her character much. It sorts itself out later in the film. This does not have the Big Bang Theory sort of comedy. It is a much darker sort of comedy British viewers will enjoy more.

This film is not tedious like many Woody Allen copy cats. It is should have had an average score of 6 on IMDb.
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adi_200220 July 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Soon after I've begin watching this I noted that the actor who play Quinn looks like a failed copy of Jason Biggs. It could have been much better if it wasn't so exaggerated for a story that it has already been told in other movies. Guy dumps her girlfriend in favor of another who is much hotter only to realize later what mistake he made and tries to win her back.

It's doesn't make any sense if the boy is irresolute in matter of women's and does not what is suitable for him. Plus that guy is a silly nerd and should not have the right to be picky. So much for the story.

Alfred Molina appears for five minutes, Maggie Grace is stunning as always and that's the only good aspect at this film.

It truly deserves the low rating.
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