- Dr. Daniel Allen: You know, I never wanted to be an astronaut when I grew up, Hank. I didn't want to play for the Yankees. Not me; I wanted to be a dentist... and I wanted to marry a busty blonde hygienist.
- Hank Moody: Oh my.
- Dr. Daniel Allen: And when Julia walked in my office that very first time, I knew she was the one.
- Hank Moody: Is she aware of her role in your manifest destiny?
- Dr. Daniel Allen: Well, we haven't discussed it per se, but... the chemistry is quite palpable. We are very good for one another. We're a team. Isn't that the very definition of a great relationship? Teamwork?
- Hank Moody: I thought it was laughter, hot sex, and the occasional Dutch oven. At least, that's what my grandma always said.
- Marcy: Ok, I had this crazy idea that I was gonna ask you for a loan, but Charlie was right. No fucking way.
- Stu Beggs: I don't do loans, Marcy, but I would pay you.
- Marcy: For what? To have sex with me?
- Stu Beggs: Yeah. One million dollars to be inside of you again.
- Marcy: I'm not a fucking prostitute, Stu.
- Stu Beggs: I know, that's why you're such a high value target.
- Marcy: OK, so you'd seriously pay a million dollars to fuck me?
- Stu Beggs: Yeah. In a heartbeat, and it would be the most delicious orgasm of my life and all of the money would go to my favorite charity, you.
- Marcy: Jesus, I'm don't know wheter to be flattered or throw the fuck up.
- Stu Beggs: Or maybe you could just let me smell you for a few minutes, I could go pleasure myself. How much could I pay you for that?
- Marcy: Ew!
- Hank Moody: Why are you so understanding about his flaws, and not mine?
- Julia: Cos you're just an amoral prick.