Ted Mosby: [to the Inn Manager] I'm not some miserable, lonely person. Tell him, Lily.
Lily Aldrin: It's been a tough weekend for him.
Ted Mosby: Bro!
Lily Aldrin: We're here for a wedding.
Lily Aldrin: He used to date the bride.
Curtis: Oh mama.
Lily Aldrin: And he's the best man.
Curtis: Look at this place... it's so romantic. Countless babies conceived within these walls!... and one grisly murder.
Barney Stinson: For the next 200 years every male member of the Stinson family was afflicted by the gypsy's curse: an unquenchable thirst for booty that no committed relationship could ever satisfy. That is until my brother James met his husband, Tom. The day they got married, they lifted the curse forever... Freeing me from the shackles of having sex with lots of different women. Although sometimes, Robin and I still use the shackles. BONDAGE-FIVE!
Curtis: Keys for Mr. Mosby?
Ted Mosby: Just one please.
Curtis: Oh... Oh. Oh. That's okay. Hang in there. You'll find somebody.
James Stinson: Tom and I are getting divorced.
Ted Mosby: So... so what happened? Why-why'd you guys break up?
James Stinson: Well, the thing to remember is that when something like this happens, it's nobody's fault.
Ted Mosby: You cheated on him.
James Stinson: Repeatedly.