If Ted Turner and Jane Fonda were Dead Today . . .
. . . they'd be turning over in their Politically Correct Graves after catching wind of ONCE UPON A LOONEY TUNE. That's because they spent one of their few nights together during their marriage in the 1900s sipping mint juleps on the veranda while red-lining titles on a list of one thousand Classic Looney Tunes that sounded so Gauche and Unchic to them that they decided to deprive billions of Then, Now, and Future Americans of the opportunity to ever enjoy watching them. This Power Elite Pair (then known as "Tundra") used their Undue Influence and Immense Wealth to railroad eleven beloved Looney Tunes down to a Gulag in the 12th Circle of Intellectual Hell, burying these cherished Toons far deeper than even Adolph Hitler's anti-Semitic Rant MEIN KAMPF (which U.S. publisher Houghton Mifflin kept in print for 75 years after the instigator of 100 million World War Two deaths blew out his own "brains"). However, from 2:33 to 2:47 of this 10-minute DVD "Special Feature," its producers brazenly defile Tundra's Eternal Prime Directive by screening a clip from COAL BLACK AND THE SEBBEN DWARFS (1943), which is #8 on Tundra's Forbidden Eleven List. If Barry Bonds ever gets appointed to baseball's Hall of Fame, "Tomahawk Chop" Ted and Jane's Forbidden Eleven MUST be given a U.S. Presidential Pardon!
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