Gymnasium Baby (2008) Poster

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1/10
There are no words
Davalon-Davalon9 December 2020
Warning: Spoilers
This bizarre, slow, amateurish film revolves around three male teenagers. "Jun" who is a swimmer and has a heart condition, "Shibahara" that has an inexplicable obsession with Jun, and Shoichi, who inexplicably has a crush on Jun.

Jun has no charisma, charm, style, talent, or anything else that might cause someone to go crazy over him.

Jun's heart condition prevents him from continuing his promising career as a swimmer. And although Shibahara is talented, he refuses to swim unless Jun is within his range of vision.

Shoichi wants to be close with Jun, but he doesn't know how.

Shibahara tries to steal one chaste kiss from Jun, which ends up leaving Jun almost catatonic with shock.

The film goes on at an incredibly slow pace as these three young men circle each other and talk, confess, argue, mope, stand, get depressed, get angry, mope and endless variations of those very limited states of being.

There is no feeling of sexuality, sensuality or anything else. There is not a single earned relationship in the entire film and because Jun (who is inexplicably called "Ren" in the English subtitles) can offer absolutely nothing to anyone except a mildly annoying attitude, it is hard to understand how anyone could possibly enjoy this film.

There are lovely underwater shots taken late at night, in what I guess is a high school/public swimming pool. Other than that, there is absolutely nothing to recommend.

None of the young actors has any acting ability. They were obviously told to "turn your head slowly" and "take time before you react" -- those seem to be the only directions given them.

I ultimately felt sorry for all of them, because they were doing what the director asked them to.

I had to fast forward through the whole thing because all I could see were scenes of people studying, swimming, arguing, repeat, repeat.

Impossible to recommend, and I was rooting for them, because the underwater scenes looked good.
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