What does Ryan Lochte think about love, life and swimming? You're about to find out!
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2013  
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 Himself (8 episodes, 2013)
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What does Ryan Lochte think about love, life and swimming? You're about to find out!

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21 April 2013 (USA)  »

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Referenced in Chelsea Lately: Episode #7.168 (2013) See more »

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One star for the show + One star for his body = 2 stars.
1 May 2013 | by See all my reviews

For their next reality show I suggest that the E network comb the United States in search of a person born in the 1980s capable of human thought. It would be a long, on-going series because, if this Lochte show is any indication, there are none. He's the sort of guy Jay Leno would stop on the sidewalk for a Jaywalking segment and ask him questions about general knowledge. He would get them wrong.

When Lochte talks about swimming and when you see him do his exercises, you can see he's in his element and it's of moderate interest. But the rest of his life, which is 95% of this reality show, is one long snore-fest. He is just plain boring. The only saving grace for women and gay men is knowing that at some point in every episode Lochte will remove his shirt and show off his chest. If it weren't for the nipple-fest there would be no reason for this program's existence.

Lochte has spent a good part of his life in the water, he's a bit backward socially and shy. It's refreshing in a way, but I can't imagine building a whole series about it. I don't think that Lochte is much dumber than the average fellow his age. It's just that he's ill-equipped for this gig and the folks at E know it. And it's a shame because he does appear to be a genuine person (he even tears up at one point during an interview). There is more than one time in the first program that the E network made fun of him, more than happy to show Lochte's lack of knowledge and comment on it with a little bit of underlying wise-guy music here or there. Talk about kicking a guy when he's down!

I watched the first show laughing at first at how dumb everyone was (his date never heard of "wontons"), but I didn't laugh for long. I enjoyed Lochte's half-naked body that was constantly being paraded around, but even that wore off before the show was over (THANK GOD this is not a 60 minute show)!

Ryan Lochte was so much more attractive at the start of the show before he opened his mouth. By the end of the 30 minutes he seemed still-born.


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