- Councilman Jamm: I got the perfect guy, A friend of mine. A bit of an alcoholic. A little grabby. Either a war hero or war criminal, depending upon who you ask. But, a good dude.
- Ann Perkins: How many drinks of alcohol do you consume a week?
- Ron Swanson: One.
- Ann Perkins: That's it? One drink?
- Ron Swanson: One shelf.