Sharknado (TV Movie 2013) Poster

(2013 TV Movie)

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10/10
Like Finding Nemo but with all sharks...and tornadoes.
halen1342011 July 2013
For anyone who hasn't seen the SyFy original movie, Sharknado; it's a heart-warming, coming of age story about a ragtag group of sharks uprooted from their home by mother nature's fury. The sharks must band together and overcome adversity and strife while trying, desperately, to make their way back to the only home they've ever known. Battling chainsaw wielding humans and B-list actors trying, desperately, to throw themselves into the displaced sharks' mouths every chance they get. If you love sharks and tornadoes, well...now you don't have to choose! Do yourself a favor and see this one before the Oscars! Sharknado is, truly, the cinematic experience of a lifetime.
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1/10
Brilliantly Awful
Michael Moriarty23 August 2013
While I give this one star, I strongly encourage everyone to see this movie. Not because it is good or has a single redeeming factor, but because if Ed Wood set out intentionally with an unlimited budget to make the worst movie ever, he could not have made something this bad.

The law of large numbers would seem to imply that in 86 minutes you'd have to get something right by accident, and yet this movie doesn't. A second look at Alien Apocalypse (which admittedly requires a masochistic nature to undertake) at least reveals passable cinematography and consistent lighting. And yet Sharknado rises above mathematics to give us a film that is bad in every single possible way.

Continuity is shrugged off completely. The same scene moves from daylight to dusk, rain to sunshine, storm surge to quiet beach, with every single new camera angle. It is so blatantly bad you are distracted from the more subtle inconsistencies like objects moving around, attire, wind, or quality of film from one cut to the next.

If you manage to close your eyes you are immediately taken in by the sound. How the sound editor managed to get to work on what had to be an acid-enhanced bender of epic proportions to warrant these results is beyond me. I'm reluctant to suggest using your stereo's sound-leveling technology for fear your sound system will simply melt from the strain.

One is almost loath to point a finger at suspension of disbelief when it comes to a movie whose premise is sharks in tornadoes, but whatever level you plan to come in with is almost surely going to fall far short. This movie has more WTF moments in 86 minutes than Lost could pull off in 86 seasons. And everyone gets to play, not just those with a working knowledge of wind shear or the physics that keep a helicopter in the air. If you've played pool, fished, surfed, driven a car in water deeper than two inches, been exposed to gravity, or otherwise in any way have interacted with or gained some understanding of the world around you, this movie has something for you to go "wha!?!" about.

And while you would think that once you had bad special effects, bad editing, and bad sound strung together you'd get at least one Bruce Campbell out of the cast to latch on to. Not so here, as every actor turned in a performance that shows they were more confused than the viewer about what was happening. We could guess it was because they were given the script out of order, but as a viewer of the final product I'm not sure I've seen the scenes in order, they are that disjointed.

I've tried very hard to find something that was done well or noteworthy about this movie and the only thing I can come up with is that it is the only movie I have ever seen that has failed on absolutely every level. If you tried to make a movie this bad you would inadvertently get something right purely on accident. And that is its one bright, shining point of light. That it would be almost impossible to make something this terrible ever again.
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8/10
Gloriously Incompetent and Gleefully Terrible
flixspix12 July 2013
And yet with a group of pals you would be hard pressed to find a better time. Absolutely nothing make sense. Physics and natural laws are ignored. Horrible CGI and cringe-worthy dialog. Outrageous continuity exceeded only by horrible color correction and clunky editing. The all together wooden acting no doubt achieved in single takes is sincere, earnest and fails on levels that should win awards.

And you can't stop watching. My friends, yelled, laughed, joked, stomped, laughed some more and had a fine time. Now how many times can you say that watching a movie? It literally becomes an interactive experience.

It is surely a classic. Not sure exactly what kind. But it is a classic.
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10/10
Best movie ever.
Bob Welsh12 July 2013
Warning: Spoilers
It started out as some drug dealing people or something, I wasn't really paying attention, and the Asian guy was like pew pew, and the other guy was like pew pew, and the sharks were like nm nm, and the crewmen were like AAAAAAAAAAAH! Then the sharks came on land and were like om nm nm!! And they were eating everyone and this reporter got eaten by a flying shark and then BAM! SHARK TORNADO! Oh yea, a bartender lady killed a shark with a cue stick somehow. And the sharks were flying and eating stuff and this guy got eaten but chainsawed his way out and VRRRRRM! He found some lady in there and they dropped bombs in the tornado cause yo lo and stuff. The shotgunned flying sharks, it was the best movie. Ever. I recommend it to everyone ever.
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A whirl wind into the sublimely ridiculous
MartianOctocretr512 July 2013
With a title like Sharknado, you expect weird. This movie delivers.

Grab some friends, lots of snacks, and a mammoth amount of suspension of disbelief. You're now ready for SyFy channel's latest escapade into the realm of the psychotically silly. This movie acts upon the mind like a mind altering substance, taking it to a land of shark-infested water spouts, science gone mad, absurd visuals, and movie making run amok. Riffing is optional; the movie is goofy and deranged either way.

A freak-storm turns into tornadoes/water spouts that vacuum up a zillion sharks that are swimming around and whisks them off to southern California. Some of the finny predators are pitched into local freeways and everywhere else, while other sharks continue to spin around in the hurricane. The sharks take no prisoners as they swim around soggy streets and wreak havoc with laughable CGI attacks. I did notice however that they obeyed all traffic laws while they swam through the streets.

This movie swims its way ever further into the realms of the jawbone dropping bizarre, with several key scenes to be on the lookout for. Look for the random one-in-a-million rescue near the end, and the wacky idea the heroes use to try and save the day. This sort of chaos is common throughout the entire movie.

Kudos to the movie makers for this pure unabashed nonsense.
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5/10
We're gonna need a bigger chopper!
Let me just say that I watched this movie to be entertained—not enthralled or hanging on the edge of my seat but just distracted and carefree for a couple of hours. I got what I wanted. Only, I didn't expect to laugh so much. I'm thankful for the laughter, though, because it kept at bay any sort of aesthetic sense that might have interfered with my viewing pleasure.

Regardless of genre, most movies are a construction of thoughtfully planned scenes, each of which presenting plot points and character motivations that, together, form a plausible narrative, allowing for the proverbial "suspension of disbelief." Such careful craftsmanship is never more important than at a film's beginning. The creators of Sharknado didn't bother with any of that.

There is an opening sequence involving a fishing boat on a stormy sea. On board a greedy captain in a raincoat and an Asian man in a three- piece suit squabble about money (presumably for some nefarious service performed by the captain). Handguns are soon brandished, bullets are fired, and chomping sharks are washed on deck by the waves (à la The Perfect Storm). People are shot or eaten, and a massive water spout filled with digitally-rendered sharks stretches into the sky. Then the opening credits begin rolling, and it's as if that scene never happened. Other than the brief preview of the "sharknado" to come at the end of the second act (yes, I'm taking some liberties by using standard film vernacular to describe this storyline), it was as if this scene was jumbled together from leftover footage of some other SyFy shark movie. Did this bother me? Nope. In fact, it wasn't until after the movie's end that I even remembered the ship's captain and the shootout on the water. By then, I was still grinning too much to care.

One grin-evoking moment occurs when Nova, the leading female character played by Cassie Scerbo, stabs a shark to death with a cue stick in a bar. While this isn't the first shark encounter for the protagonists or even the first shark-on-land encounter, it does seem to set the tone for the rest of the movie. Anthony Ferrante, the director, wants everyone to realize that this is not—and does not aspire to be—Jaws.

Though he need not worry about anyone mistaking this shark movie for Steven Spielberg's classic, Ferrante repeatedly makes references to it. I won't use terms such as "allusion" or even "homage" to describe these references. Perhaps "farcical" might be more appropriate, or maybe "comic relief," but even those terms lend themselves to a more contemplative critique than I am attempting.

I think Ferrante's purpose was to preemptively counter all would-be critics who might say things like "This is no Jaws." He could have just titled the movie Another Killer Shark Film That Is Not Jaws. But that would have been too self-effacing and certainly not as much fun.

In carrying out this strategy, Ferrante doesn't waste much time. Moments after the sharks begin plopping onto the streets and docks, Fin—a bar-owner, father and former pro-surfer played by Ian Ziering of Beverly Hills, 90210 fame—makes quick work of one by shooting a diver's air tank that is jutting out of its gullet, causing it and the shark to explode. Remind you of anything? Yep, there's even a corny one-liner: "That's what you get for trying to eat me."

Later we have a quasi-touching expository scene that reveals Nova's pre-established hatred of sharks. The character of Fin's son, Matt, played by Chuck Hittinger, notices an unusual scar on Nova's thigh. To get her to talk about it, he lifts up his shirt and reveals a scar on his abdomen and explains its not-so-dramatic origin. When he asks Nova how she got her scar, she says she had a tattoo removed. Not buying it, Matt prods further and Nova tells a story about going fishing with her grandfather and his friends when she was a little girl. She says that their boat sank and sharks began to circle and attack them. The men managed to lift her out of the water and onto something floating nearby, but a shark still managed to take a hunk out of her leg. In summation, Nova says: "Six people went into the water and one little girl came out. The sharks took the rest."

The scene in Jaws in which Robert Shaw's character Quint tells the tale of the sinking of the USS Indionapolis is arguably one of the most memorable scenes in film history. Ferrante knows this. Nova's scar story, in a tongue-in-cheek sort of way, serves to again make the director's statement: "I am aware of Jaws, as is everyone in the civilized world, and this is not that movie!"

Later, this same point is made again, this time even more comically and pointedly. After fabricating some propane bombs, Nova and Matt take to the skies in a helicopter to hunt the tornadoes. Matt flies perilously close to one of the funnel clouds so that Nova can toss one of the bombs into it. She sees an enormous shark coming straight at them and declares: "We're gonna need a bigger chopper."

If you want to be moderately entertained, then I don't think you will be disappointed with Sharknado. Don't expect too much going into it—and bring with you a willingness to suspend your own sense of disbelief. Most important, keep in mind that this is not Jaws. I don't think that fact will slip you mind, however. The director made sure of it.
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10/10
A true work of art.
davidkzoo12 July 2013
Warning: Spoilers
This movie right here is a true wonder to the abilities of man kind. I recommend it to everyone. Truly the most entertaining movie I've seen in a very long time. I won't spoil it for you, but I will share some interesting facts that I have learned from this film with you:

1. If it is raining very hard and floods are occurring, the inside of your house will flood first.

2. If there is 2 feet of water, a 12 foot shark can not only swim with grace and elegance in it, the sheer speed it can reach before it leaps high and fast out of the water only to dive into that same two feet of water and disappear completely is truly astonishing.

3. If there is an EF5 tornado bearing down on Hollywood, not only do people continue about their daily lives as if the news isn't telling them (which they are) that a hurricane is indeed wreaking terrible destruction about the town and to evacuate, it can also be sunny out with perfectly blue skies. Then suddenly dark and overcast again. Then suddenly sunny again. Then sudden..... well, i think you get my point.

4. So if you really don't want to bother with the tornado that has been produced by this mega hurricane that everyone just totally ignored until it was literally right on top of them, just assemble a makeshift bomb out of an R sized oxygen tank (about 14" tall mind you), hop in a helicopter, fly over to that pesky twister, and blow it out of the sky with this amazingly powerful bomb.

5. You don't have to be an actor/actress to be in a movie.

So, in other words, do not miss this true gem. A modern masterpiece that will surely be winning some Oscars.
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10/10
Best movie 2013
vice_assault12 July 2013
21 minutes into the movie and already a Jaws reference. My friend suggested The Avengers, or the Dark Knight. I said no, we're watching Sharknado. The best decision I've ever made in my life. The acting done by Tara Reid is amazing I feel like I was actually living her shark filled life story. The amazing CGI gave me nightmares, filled with sharks, tornadoes, and former adult film actresses. The movie was directed by Michael Bay's protégé, the lens flairs were amazing and blinded me with beauty. I truly feel that if someone ever breaks into my home, I will not grab my firearm, I will grab a trusty bar stool. The perfect weapon for any weapon need, from repelling flying sharks, to casual home usage. Never leave your trusty bar stool at home.
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1/10
Doing bad movies the wrong way
extracrap199810 August 2014
People seem to think that this is the be all end all of bad movies when in actuality the movie was made this way on purpose. The thing that separates a good bad movie from a bad bad movie is intent. Take The Room for example. When Tommy Wiseau was making that movie, he had the best intentions and really thought that it was going to be a great movie. This is what makes it so satisfying to watch this movie. Wiseau put a lot of time and effort into it and it was utter crap. Sharknado was made to be dumbed down to reach their target audience and make them feel smarter than the movie. You can't point and laugh at the director because this is what he wanted all along. What makes a film "So bad it's good" is sincerity. Movies like Machete or Sharknado or the latest Asylum Mockbuster are either intentionally shitty or crass cash-grabs. Great terrible movies like the Room, Miami Connection, and Birdemic are completely sincere and honest in there awfulness, and that's what makes them special. Sharknado is just ruining the experience of bad movies for people. All in all, if you truly are interested in bad movies, I recommend you watch something like Troll 2 or Miami Connection. Then again, what do I know? I'm just some asshole on the internet.
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1/10
If only you could vote in negative...
mathew-pike5 October 2013
You have probably seen a whole bunch of reviews saying that it's so bad it's good. Well it's so bad it's worse than bad.

Do not waste your time with this movie. There is no continuity between scenes, one second it's flooding then in the next scene the streets are dry. The acting is terrible, the special effects are less than special.

Lastly, poor Tara, she had some good movies under her belt, but this is the latest in a downward spiral for her acting career. It seems like she has been taking acting lessons from the rest of the cast because her performance is no better than the rest.

Please watch something else. I beg you.
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