Silent Retreat

This movie is... unbelievably bad. I watch a ton of horror movies. The majority are disappointing but entertaining enough with some redeeming qualities. This movie has 0 redeeming qualities. Extremely poor performances, writing, direction, practical effects, dialogue, etc.

In movies, there are so many elements that can be used to tell a story. Not a single one is used advantageously here. It's very possible to tell a story with very little dialogue. Think of A Quiet Place. That movie obviously had much better resources to work with, of course, but still. It used other visual elements to tell you who the characters are, what they're thinking, what they want, what they fear, and why you should care about them. The dialogue that IS present in this movie is so amateur and one dimensional. It feels like the writers need to learn how to write a story before they try to make a movie.

Sometimes, bad movies are fun because they're goofy or campy. This movie was just cringey. I very nearly turned it off in the last 20 minutes, but decided to stick it out instead. I wish I got some kind of reward from the filmmakers for doing so.

Respect to all who worked on it, because it's hard to do regardless, and it's brave to pursue your vision & open yourself to critique. But man, this may be the worst movie I've ever watched.

Silent Retreat (2013) is a Canadian movie that I recently watched on Prime. The storyline follows a troubled young lady who is sent to a unique rehabilitation retreat where she isn't allowed to talk. It is rumored there's a dark past at the rehab center and a creature that eats people in the surrounding woods. When other young ladies turn up missing at the center, the students don't know if they've been released, eaten by the creature in the woods or worse... The new girl is itching to find out what's what and try to free the other girls.

This movie is directed by Tricia Lee (Blood Hunters) and stars Sofia Banzhaf (Splinters), Robert Nolan (Sixty Minutes to Midnight), Jen Pogue (The Masked Saint) and Katie Buitendyk (Total Frat Movie).

I found the first hour of this movie frustrating. The storyline was fairly straightforward with some unique elements. There is some good subplots and character development baked in. The acting, writing and dialogue were uneven and disappointing at times. Even the first few horror scenes, which were limited, were shot too dark and missed the mark. But an hour into the movie the horror elements kick up a notch and you get your first great kill with gore and solid flesh eating. The creature in the woods reveal is outstanding and I was left wondering where that was the entire movie. The conclusion is actually pretty good if you can be patient enough to get to it.

Overall, this has some well executed scenes at the end that make it worth a watch but missed an opportunity to be great. I would score this a 5/10 and recommend seeing it once.

Why the extreme low scores and angry reviews? This movie reminds me of silly late night horror films from the 80s, like you'd see with Elvira. It's almost as if they took 3 or more films and mashed them together. It's odd. It's not perfect.

The simple setting is nice and fits the tone of this idea of a nice quiet place to send delinquent kids.

Then it changes... There's a monster movie, a camp "last girl" gory movie, and a rapey psychological horror movie all suddenly collide into a weird mix. And absurd hypnosis.

The whole thing could have been blah, but the acting of the 2 main girls and some actually well done gory scenes made it enjoyable.

I'm scoring this a bit higher because I just read reviews that gave it a 1 out of 10 (which is way too harsh), then said things they liked. That makes no sense. At least give it a 4 or 5 for those good bits you liked. This movie isn't that bad, so these low scores just seem angry. Some reviews contradict themselves by saying they loved so-and-so in their role, yet scored a 1 or 2. (Perhaps I'm missing some behind-the-scenes drama? Which probably would not matter imo.) I try to focus on the positives, especially online. Spread kindness!

These filmmakers did pretty well with a low budget and lot of hard work. There's a lot of creativity here, maybe unfocused. And the talent shows. Good luck to their future endeavors!

A troubled teen (Chelsea Jenish) is brought to a strange rehabilitation camp in the woods of the Northeast, which is run by a stern "doctor" and his two sons. The patients are all female and no one is permitted to talk. Meanwhile something malevolent lurks in the woods.

"Silent Retreat" (2013) was shot in Ontario and only cost $185,000 (USD), but is professionally made Indie drama/horror. The locations, actors, music, cinematography, editing and so forth are surprisingly effective for super low-budget fare. Sofia Banzhaf (Alexis) and Jen Pogue (Pink Stripe) stand out in the feminine department.

Unfortunately, there are a few glaring problems. For one, the creature angle wasn't needed and feels undeveloped, not to mention it needlessly turns an interesting story about conformity into gory monster mayhem. Think "The Stepford Wives," minus the robotics, mixed with a dash of "Gargoyles" and the typical Tarantino bloody climax. Then there's the eye-rolling sapphic bit at around the 35-minute mark, which is also just thrown in with zero development. No doubt the director/writer wanted to score points for political correctness and attract an award, which ironically smacks of conformity.

The third issue is the one-dimensional depiction of males and females. There's no balance regarding either gender in liberated Western Civilization. Literally ALL women are suppressed and oppressed while ALL men are controlling, abusing monsters. If this were remotely so, how exactly did Oprah and Ellen have their popular shows and become billionaires?

Then there's the one-dimensional depiction of the Bible's view of women. Don't get me wrong, there are men in real-life like the "doctor," but how about featuring a little more info for some honest balance? Otherwise, viewers will walk away with a skewed understanding of what the Scriptures actually teach on the topic. For instance, God chose Deborah to lead Israel for 40 years spiritually, legally, politically and militarily (Judges 2:16 & 4:4-9). Hebrew men sought instruction from prophetess Huldah (2 Kings 22:14-20). Miriam assumed the role of prophet during the exodus and led in worship (Exodus 15:20-21). Keep in mind that this was a patriarchal culture in the Near East.

Furthermore, the first evangelists in the New Testament were women sent by Christ who instructed men (Mark 16:1, Luke 24:10, Matthew 28:1-10 & Mark 16:7). Priscilla taught scholar Apollos "more accurately" (Acts 18:24-26). Your see, there is neither male nor female IN Christ (Galatians 3:28). Women with the prophetic gift were expected to prophesy to others and not keep silent, as well as pray in public (1 Corinthians 11:4-5). Philip the evangelist "had four unmarried daughters who prophesied" (Acts 21:9). I'm just supplying additional information for those who might walk away from this film with a twisted understanding of the topic.

I realize this is a low-budget Indie, but how about some balance simply for the sake of honesty and realism?

The movie runs 1 hour, 24 minutes, and was shot in Kettleby, Ontario (I'm assuming Kettleby Valley Camp), which is a dozen miles north of Toronto.

GRADE: C-/D+

This really wasn't all that bad. Definitely felt amateurish and quite indi at times but definitely also had some successful moments for what it was. Felt more like a teenage intro to horror/creature feature.

The acting was quite mediocre and stilted at times but everyone had decent moments and did a fine job. The monster was a tad costumey looking but hey, we are working on an indi budget here, so not awful. The dialogue could have used some refining and the plot some beefing up to increase originality and intrigue.

Regardless of that, overall I was decently entertained. Don't go into this expecting a mature, wildly scary horror blockbuster. If you can appreciate it for what it is I would recommend.