"Jimmy Kimmel Live!" Episode #10.319 (TV Episode 2013) Poster

(TV Series)



Himself - Host: [opening introduction] From Hollywood, it's *this idiot's show*!

[picture of Jimmy Kimmel with the caption "Idiot"]

Himself - Host: With Matt Damon, Matt Damon, and musical guest Matt Damon. It's Jimmy Kimmel Sucks! Finally, MATT DAMON!

Himself - Host: Siri, who is the greatest comedian in the world?

Siri: Definitely *not* Jimmy Kimmel. He is not funny at all. He is terrible. He is human garbage.

Himself - Host: Well, that's a given. But search for a world-class comedian in the immediate area.

Siri: Searching for a world-class comedian in the immediate area.

Siri: I believe I have found someone close to you.

Himself - Host: Well, bring him in.

[Enter Robin Williams]

[after Jimmy's attempt to audition for the role of Bob Tenor in "Stuck on You"]

Greg Kinnear: Can we look into Matt Damon? He'll do it.

Himself - Host: If the movie was called "Suck on You" he'd do it.

[Ben has been trying to override Matt's attempts to smear Jimmy Kimmel]

Ben Affleck: Forget it, Man! I couldn't do it to JIMMY!

Himself - Host: [as Ben is leaving] Aw, come on, Ben. Please!

Ben Affleck: [to Matt and Jimmy] I never wanted it to end this way.

Himself - Host: [Ben has left] He doesn't even LOVE YOU the way I love you! You'll see!

Himself - Host: [to the audience] He'll see.

[after Jimmy's repeated attempts to audition for the role of David Norris in "The Adjustment Bureau"]

Emily Blunt: [to the director] What is this? Is this a pity reading?

Himself - Host: No no no. Don't think like that. You're here on your *own* merits.

Emily Blunt: But I've been cast.

Himself - Host: [to the director] She thinks this is a pity reading.

Emily Blunt: I've been cast in this movie.

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page