- Laurie's mixed emotions over Travis causes a destructive streak that Andy must deal with. Jules spends time with her therapist when she discovers her friends have been keeping secrets. Bobby meets a woman at a superstore.
- Welcome to COUGAR TOWN This episode was written by the absolute worst writers we have on staff. (www.tbs.com/bradandemily)
Laurie's (Busy Philipps) feelings about Travis (Dan Byrd) have definitely taken a violent turn, as the dead spider under her man-hands would testify. Of course, Ellie (Christa Miller) used the infamous Seinfeld (1989), which Jules (Courteney Cox) has never seen...or even knows about, for that matter. (JULES: No one's gonna tell me what to 'must see'.) Of course, Ellie couldn't help but poke the angry bear, because she knew someone else would bear the brunt of it. That being Tom (Bob Clendenin), who got an eyeful of his own piping-hot cinnamon buns. But his hands were OK; it's not like a brain surgeon needs both eyes to operate. (ELLIE: Now, I'm a little afraid.)
Jules talks to Lynn (Nicole Sullivan), her therapist, about how she didn't tell him she loved him enough times and now he was gone. But Michael Jackson was taken from all of us. Jules thought they could be good friends if they had met on the street, and apparently Lynn was desperate enough from her husband's death (and finding out he was also married to her best friend...and gay) to take Jules up on the offer. Grayson (Josh Hopkins) wonders why she even bothers with therapy, but Jules admitted to being a "people-pleasing control freak" before therapy. (and back in the days when she was making $1M per episode) She even admitted to keeping a baby monitor in Travis' bedroom until he was 17. The baby monitor, by the way, still gets good use at Ellie and Andy's, where Jules can overhear everything they say about her. Grayson, on the other hand, was quite comfortable telling Jules all of his secrets. Of course, he also thought Jules heard of 'the vault', where you're supposed to keep secrets, like the fact Grayson wore a jean jacket in an Alanis Morissette video. (I never would have thought it, but blonde actually works for her. Check her IMDb page and tell me I'm wrong.) Oh, the song was Unsent, since I know both of you reading this would ask. Grayson finds out and was upset with Jules.
JULES: What's up his butt?
ELLIE: I'm thinking Alanis' finger at the wrap party.
Did you know Andy (Ian Gomez) won the election for mayor? Neither did he. Of course, Ellie had no problem taking advantage of all the 'free stuff' the First Lady got from the local merchants. But all Andy had to do was hold a town meeting every six months and attend the ribbon-cutting of Gulf Haven's newest bike rack. (he had to provide the scissors) He also had to find a way to control JellyHulk, aka Laurie, as she went into a rage on the streets and threw some marionettes into the fountain. (most people would take her side on this one) Bobby (Brian Van Holt) thought he could handle it; Andy was the Bitch Whisperer. (ELLIE: He once bitch-whispered me from choking out a lady for using the handicapped stall. I mean, she was handicapped, but BARELY.)
A stressed-out Bobby (relative to him) was looking to get away. And what better place to do that than your local Target store! (His whole scene is one big-ass commercial for Target, but I've still seen worse.) He takes Travis with him, whereupon he meets an attractive lady who wants to enjoy his getaway with him. Sadly, after a long, lovely day, she had to get a taxi and head to the airport...because she lived near there. Bobby thought it wasn't meant to be because it was a vacation romance, but Travis luckily clued him in.
Grayson confronts Jules on not putting the Alanis thing in the vault, but she claims not everyone has heard of Seinfeld. Actually, they have, and a quick phone survey alerts Jules to the fact everyone has vaults that contain other people's secrets. Jules was quite upset by this, particularly when Ellie confessed to it. So she told Laurie that Ellie was glad Travis was playing the field. And a frying pan to ward off Laurie doesn't work as well as you might think, given she spent six months as an IHOP waitress in Tampa. Jules demanded a list of vault links, and she was particularly upset that Grayson and Ellie shared one. (ELLIE: I came over for coffee one day, and you weren't here. It just...happened.) Jules was upset and intended to blow up the whole vault thing. And she was out of salad dressing. (NEWMAN!) That's why Jules brought in Lynn, pretending to want to hang out with her, just so a therapist could back her up on this. Yes, we do see the irony. But Jules figured until the vaults were gone, she was going to make use of them. And Grayson's request to take the jeans from Lynn's dead gay husband was the first thing to go in there. Oh, did I mention they were ass-less jeans? Jules can't believe these secrets are such a big deal, like Grayson's Alanis video, or Lynn was once a human sushi platter, or that Ellie was born with eleven toes...a seven-four split. But since there weren't any vaults, Grayson wasn't going to tell Jules anything ever again, and Ellie told Lynn that Jules only wanted to hang out with her to back up what she was saying.
Andy, at everyone's insistence attempted to bitch-whisper Laurie down. Even though she knew that's what he was doing, he figured the gang at his ribbon-cutting ceremony would do the trick. Only they didn't show up...nor did anybody else. Laurie had it and attacked Andy, demanding he hit her back Fight Club (1999) style. It took some convincing (Laurie beating him up), but he complied. Actually he was deaf in one ear from Laurie's thighs crushing his skull. Not the first time she did that, although it was the first time a fight was involved.
Jules and Lynn went to fix things...at the therapist Lynn typically goes to. Who thinks she's a total nutcase, like Jules does. But both Jules and Lynn admitted they used the other to solve their problems and were acting like jerks, yadda, yadda, yadda. (Yes, Jules used those words.) Lynn (and her therapist) think Jules has some serious trust issues, and they were right. Nobody told Jules her mother was sick when she was a child and nobody told her during her first marriage Bobby was cheating on her. She hated being kept in the dark. But then, that's why Jules went to therapy; so she could say things without them coming back to bite her.
Laurie and Andy both came to the realization they were made at other people for not doing what they didn't even talk to them about, like Andy wanting everybody to go to the ribbon-cutting ceremony and Laurie not telling Travis how she felt about him. But a little celebratory party for Andy's job as mayor did the trick nicely for the gang. (Once Laurie told them.) And Travis told Laurie he couldn't believe Bobby didn't get that Target lady's number. (TRAVIS: It's so frustrating to see two people who would be so good together not give it a shot. It sucks, right?) And Jules and Grayson decided they would have their own vault together and tell each other secrets they wouldn't tell anybody else. Like Jules being afraid to marry Grayson because he had been divorced, or that she didn't like his daughter, or when she put lipstick up her butt when she was 12 so she could poop pretty, or how she sometimes wished Grayson was the girl when they were having sex...to which Grayson agreed.
ELLIE: (listening in on the baby monitor) This is going into our new 'group vault'.
But Grayson can take one thing to heart: Andy was in an Alanis Morissette, too, playing a smarmy record executive. (Hands Clean)
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