Hi Howard Stern fans, Welcome to
COUGAR TOWN Bababooey
Everybody had made it to Los Angeles, even Tom (Bob Clendenin
) ...once he figured out nobody was in the Bahamas...and flew to Denver...and drove 14 hours to LA. They didn't know where to go, and LA's traffic didn't help. Jules (Courteney Cox
) thought they should go see the Labia Tar Pits. (or the La Brea Tar Pits to normal people) Ellie (Christa Miller
) and Grayson (Josh Hopkins
) were less than impressed with Tinsel Town. In fact, Grayson had lived there at one point...likely doing things for money. (GRAYSON: This city does things to you that you can't take back.) But Chick (Ken Jenkins
) had a fantasy once that the Hollywood Walk of Fame reminded him of...after he reassured Jules it wasn't a graveyard. He dreamed of a star-filled night at a bar and offering a glass of champagne to Tippi Hedren
and the two would dance the night away. In fact, Jules and Grayson loved the story so much, they made it the Cul-de-Sac Crew's mission in life to track down Tippi Hedren.
Meanwhile, after Laurie (Busy Philipps
) discovered the hard way that Travis (Dan Byrd
) would be sharing a room with Bobby (Brian Van Holt
) and Tom (BOBBY/TOM: Check out boob mountain!), they joined the search for Tippi. Andy (Ian Gomez
) thought he had an "in" with LA, since he knew about the "Latino Connection" throughout the town and he could hook it up being from Cuba. Well, it didn't quite work that way, and he was upset. He was even more upset that not a single one of the crew would think he was Latino just by looking at him. Granted, his 80s yuppie attire didn't help. And Grayson's idea of everyone getting head shots and dropping off at a talent agency wasn't necessary, given Cougar Town
was picked up for Season 5. SUCK THEIR BIG BOTTLE, ABC!!! And Jules wasn't getting much luck ordering a Lettuce-Guacamole-Bacon-Tomato sandwich. (JULES: They have LGBT signs all over the place!) Bobby, Ellie (Christa Miller
), and Andy decide to take a bus tour to find Tippi Hedren's house. (The bus had a Conan
ad on it. Shocking.) And they succeed. Now all they needed was Marty McFly's DeLorean time machine to go back to 1971 when Tippi actually lived there. And the tour guide was going to get his teeth kicked in for thinking Andy was Greek. Meanwhile, Tom was able to figure out Tippi was working on the latest Channing Tatum
movie from his great-aunt. Who was a stalker and not in the industry. (TOM: She had Wesley Snipes
over for Thanksgiving once. He didn't want to be there.) In the meantime, it was up to Travis and Laurie to keep Chick occupied. They had been having trouble with their first kiss. Something always interrupted them...like bicyclists and flame throwers. Chick told them Fate would take care of it if it was meant to be, but neither of them believed in that. Chick told them meeting his wife 50 years ago on a train. They talked for hours on that train, but he fell asleep and never saw her again until a year later at a random diner in the middle of nowhere just to get out of the rain. (CHICK: Good God, I can land a moment.)
On the Hollywood lot, Tom and Grayson had no luck, but Jules (and her breasts) had some luck doubling for a servant girl. Her breasts didn't find out where Tippi lived but they did do a scene with Ben Kingsley
. Jules was upset becuase she had to act OK with her dad and she clearly wasn't. She didn't even like him making jokes about having Alzheimer's. (JULES: I don't want to laugh! I want to hug him. And I want to cry and tell him I love him. And I want to make Tippi Hedren dance with him! I want to give him a memory so great he won't forget it!) Grayson rallies the troops...despite everyone going off on tangents about the broken-up Travis and Laurie and The Wire
...and Bobby realizes there's one man who can find anything in the City of Angels: Andy. He goes back to the hotel concierge and convinces him to activate the Latino Connection to find Tippi Hedren. The man respected Andy's fire and activates the Latino Connection. Sure enough, Lou Diamond Phillips
knew where she lived, and Laurie stole Tippi's cat, Tabby Hedren (LAURIE: That's adorable!), to get the guard to chase her, Jules and Grayson talk to Tippi. Only Laurie gets lost and has to have Silver Man, the guy they found on the beach all painted in silver, to drive her back. Then she realized she wanted to be with Travis. And as Tippi helped Chick live out his dream with some champagne and a dance to the sound of a street guitarist (after he shed the bass drum and kazoo), Laurie and Travis enjoyed a dance...and their magical first kiss.
And Jules welcomes a new member to the family: Big Tippi. Actually, it was a vase from the hotel, but it worked great for drinking wine.
JULES: L.A. might suck, but you guys are the best! (Grayson's audition video? Definitely sucked.)
See you in 2014!