- Dwight Schrute: I really like Andy these days. He's pretend, and he does exactly as I tell him to. All that will change when real Andy comes back tomorrow.
- [thinks for a moment]
- Dwight Schrute: Unless he comes back as pretend Dwight. In which case, we're in for an epic, confusing showdown.
- Andy Bernard: I know you may not be feeling love for me right now, but if you fake it, I won't be able to tell the difference.
- Pam Beesly: I don't think you should go to Philly tonight. I think that you should stay, and I think we should fight.
- Jim Halpert: You really want to fight on Valentine's Day?
- Pam Beesly: Yeah, I do.