Bob's Burgers (TV Series)

Tina-Rannosaurus Wrecks (2012)

H. Jon Benjamin: Bob Belcher, Hell Jail Cafeteria Lady

Quotes 

• Bob : [as Tina is driving the car in a parking lot and is about to hit a parked car]  Tina, for the love of God, turn away or stop! The brakes, Tina! On the left! You're about to hit that car! The brakes! Hit the brakes!

• Bob : [to Chase]  You are the worst insurance adjuster.

  Chase : But the world's greatest uncle.

• Bob : Oh, my God. We're stuck with this guy forever.

  Gene : Like me and this piece of corn between my teeth. Right, corn?

• Tina : [to Bob]  Do I have a boyfriend in this scenario?

  Bob : Uh, we should probably just stick to the necessary facts.

  Tina : Oh, okay.

  Bob : Fine, all right, you have a secret boyfriend in this scenario, one that you can't ever talk about.

  Tina : What's his name?

  Bob : Um, Sebastian.

  Tina : He plays lacrosse and he loves me.

  Bob : Mm-hmm.

  Tina : But he loves lacrosse more.

  Bob : Uh, yeah.

  Tina : How long is his hair?

  Bob : I- I-I don't know, but it's greasy.

  Tina : Yes.

• Bob : [to Tina]  Why are you wearing a hair net?

  Tina : Because stress is making my hair fall out. Look at me.

  [points to her hair] 

  Bob : Tina, you have the fullest head of hair in the family. I would kill for that hairline.

  Tina : I believe you would.

• Linda Belcher : [to Bob]  Why didn't you tell me?

  Bob : Because you're terrible at keeping secrets. You just blurt everything out.

  Linda Belcher : [Flashback to Bob and Linda attending a party]  Sorry we're late! Bob had diarrhea!

• Tina : [after she crashes the car]  We have to leave a note! We have to leave a note!

  Bob : Okay, okay! You're... you're so honest. Who raised you?

• Jimmy Pesto : [to Bob]  Hello, Bob, want to hear a knock-knock joke?

  Bob : No.

  Jimmy Pesto : Knock-knock.

  Bob : I'm really not in the mood.

  Jimmy Pesto : Knock-knock.

  Bob : Ugh, who's there?

  Jimmy Pesto : You hit my car, dumbass.

• Bob : [to Tina]  So we just have to say I was driving, okay?

  Tina : That's lying. That's not right.

  Bob : That's true, Tina. Lying is wrong and you should never do it unless an idiot named Jimmy Pesto makes you go through insurance, which he is.

• Bob : [after Tina accidentally sets Chase's house on fire]  Tina, no one's blaming you for this, but what wrong thing did you do?

  Tina : I don't know. I was cooking like normal. Maybe I had the flame too high? Why would you let me around fire?