Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon. This isn't helping. Why don't you just let me get some rest?
Sheldon Cooper: Well, how can you sleep? I'm not done making you feel better. I still have to put a cold rag on your head, sing to you, and apply Vaporub to your chest.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Y-You- You want to rub something on my chest?
Sheldon Cooper: Yes. All over it.
Amy Farrah Fowler: [coughs] Maybe we should start with that.
Sheldon Cooper: Now you're being a responsible patient. Now, you may notice some tingling.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Oh, I'm counting on it.
Howard Wolowitz: Boy, we're just married to a couple of ball-busters, huh, Mike.
Mr. Rostenkowski: That's my wife and daughter you're talking about.
Howard Wolowitz: Great couple o' gals.
Mr. Rostenkowski: I wouldn't go that far.
Raj Koothrappali: Can we change the subject? Spiders give me the jeebie-jeebies.
Howard Wolowitz: It's heebie-jeebies.
Raj Koothrappali: I know, but that sounds anti-Semitic. Anyway, I was thinking we could have a little film festival tonight. The theme, movies that killed their franchises.
Leonard Hofstadter: Ohhh, like Jaws 4, Indiana Jones 4, Daredevil 1.
Raj Koothrappali: Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous. I mean, you know a movie's bad when my homegirl Sandy B can't save it.
Sheldon Cooper: Is anyone else troubled by the Spiderman theme song?
Leonard Hofstadter: Why would it trouble you? It's like your third favorite cartoon theme song.
Sheldon Cooper: It is. It's right behind
Sheldon Cooper: "Doo doo doo dod-doo, Inspecor gadget" and
Sheldon Cooper: "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Heroes on a half shell."
Howard Wolowitz: Really? Your wife makes you do stuff? You're a big, scary cop.
Mr. Rostenkowski: You're an astronaut, and your wife makes you do things, and she's only four feet tall.
Amy Farrah Fowler: I think I'm too sick to go to the funeral.
Sheldon Cooper: You're sick? You poor kid. Well, see ya.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon. Aren't you going to take care of me?
Sheldon Cooper: Me? No. No, I'm not that kind of doctor.
Amy Farrah Fowler: But our relationship agreement clearly states that when one of us is sick, the other must take care of them.
Sheldon Cooper: Oh. I see the confusion. No, the intent behind that clause was to force you to take care of me when I'm ill. When you're feeling better, you'll think that's funny.
Sheldon Cooper: I'm going to draw you a soothing bath. Where's your bath thermometer?
Amy Farrah Fowler: I don't have a bath thermometer.
Sheldon Cooper: Fine. Then I'm going to draw you a nerve-wracking bath of indeterminate temperature.