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|Index||26 reviews in total|
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Justin Cone plays young 17 year old Chris, a cute skinny twink of a
teenager who feigns awkward gawkiness around girls in order to mask his
budding homosexual desires from his brutally repressive and homophobic
father. Yet when he meets tall, handsome, and muscular Trent
("introducing" Daniel Dannas), who lives quite a ways down the street,
it's love at first sight as Trent teaches Chris to swim and overcome
his fear of water and wetness. Soon both boys ((SPOILER)) are swimming
merrily in the pool with their shirts off as Director David DeCoteau
candidly documents their blossoming adolescent romance. Chris even
finds a girl whom he tutors (played by Anna Paquin's cousin), and she
quickly agrees to beard as his girlfriend, allowing Chris to keep his
new forbidden love affair with Trent a secret from his father.
Oh yeah, and there's also a cat that talks.
This film was an inspiration to me. I was in tears throughout the whole
film. This cat goes through so much in it's struggles and I wish I
could tell you, but that would ruin the moving atmosphere.
The acting is delivered flawlessly without any error. For a film which truly sticks to it's roots, carrying none of the 'multi million dollar company' vibe many films now show, please, I implore you to seek 'A Talking Cat?!?' for that one perfect moment in your life.
Watching this film was like reliving the days of nostalgic childhood once more and I am certain that this will apply to any viewer, young or old. 'A Talking Cat?!?' is a film truly suited to the whole family.
I defy anyone to make it through this direct to video disaster in one sitting. I know I couldn't. There is nothing, NOTHING even remotely redeemable about this mess. Zero production values, a canned and looped music score that would be far more fitting for interrogations of enemies of the state, painful performances from has been's (WTF how desperate were Kristine DeBell and Johnny Whittaker in order for them to debase themselves like this?!) along with a talentless cast of young up and comers, and -the coup de gras- the most unbelievable "talking cat" effect you will ever see. This entire video (I refuse to call it a movie) is an endurance test for only the most brave of souls. Your rage will set in after the first fifteen minutes, and from there on out it's a battle of wills to see who will emerge victorious. Many have tried. All have perished. Consider this your only warning.
The cat on the movie poster is not the same as the cat in the movie,
but otherwise this movie is perfect. I would have given it a perfect 10
stars but I don't like that the poster shows a cat that is cute and
young in an awkward pose but the cat in the movie is never really very
awkward and is older, but it is still a cute cat so don't worry you
won't be subjected to an ugly cat just one that is different from the
one in the movie.
Eric Roberts demonstrates a broad range of emotions, from being annoyed by "beeping machines" to seriously loving on some food, but when I rented this movie I was expecting to hear his voice attached to the cat on the poster, and when it was instead a different cat with Eric Roberts' voice, I felt a little bit thrown off.
Watch this movie a lot of times. Also, I'm working on a poster that is more representative of the cat from the actual movie and when it's ready I'll update my review and post it here.
BE WARNED: THE CAT IS CUTE, BUT NOT THE CAT ON THE POSTER!!!?!!!
This movie has everything. Action, Drama, and even Magic! In what would
be the greatest achievement in the American Dusty Rhodes movie debut.
The beautiful scenery captivated me to the point of wanting summer to
come along again so I can take a walk in the woods.
The story starts out with a father and son who have a hard time relating to each other. The son, love smitten, is awkwardly befuddled. It moves forward connecting two troubled families together with the work of Eric Roberts masterpiece of acting. You can tell he is a pro, as his delivery is effortless. The second family is struggling financially.
There are twists and turns you would never expect. You expect one thing to happen, and it does something so simple instead, it amazes you. Brilliant when you think about it.
Wasn't sure whether to give it one star out of ten, or ten stars for
the films pure lack of any sort of slot to fit it in to. For one thing-
the soft porn style sets are not your imagination, the director, David
DeCoteau not only makes gay porn- he also directs CHILDREN'S films. And
uses the same sets.. makes me uncomfortable knowing children's films
are also done by this same guy, under an alias company name "1313" on
IMDb. Thanks Nathan Rabin, I KNEW it. You just confirmed my fears.
Soft porn music, lighting, sets... the crappiest special effects for the talking cat ever. Picture a photo shopped-style moving black "mouth shape" for the poor cats mouth- and a drunken sounding Eric Roberts as the cat's voice. The cat is neither cute, nor cuddly- the film does not use the cat pictured on the film's ad poster.
The film totally reminded me of "The Room" in it's weirdly quiet way. I was waiting for a character to waltz in and casually mention "didn't you hear? I have cancer.. Bye!" A million dollar budget?? Why? How? I wonder if some of their budget went to "hush money" to the child actors' parents. Wouldn't surprise me! This is one of those "you've GOT to WATCH this" films.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Turned it on for the kids. Left it on for the same reason that you can't turn away from a train-wreck. I'm seriously not sure if the homoerotic undertones were intentional due to the director's past experience, or because he cast two gay kids to pretend to be straight boys interested in girls. The unconvincing acting coupled with the painfully shitty lines makes me want to stab myself repeatedly. The faux phone conversations are equally impressive as well. The two old people's cohesion after the "car scene" is also mind-blowing. I particularly like when the "mom" pulls the cheese puffs out of the oven with her bare hands then hands them to the old guy and he drops them cause they're too hot. I seriously think this whole cast was speed-balling the entire movie... If you just have nothing left to do before you die then maybe, MAYBE watch this just to convince yourself that it is time to go.
I recently watched this "film" for my podcast, where we solely review
awful movies. I painstakingly sat through it twice with a stopwatch and
timed all of the runtime of the movie spent on establishing shots
(there are FIFTY-SEVEN OF THEM), credits, and shots of the cat lying or
waddling around. This sums up the movie better than anything:
Between the credits, establishing shots, and shots of the cat, those all take up THIRTY PERCENT OF THE 83-MINUTE RUNTIME. I have never seen a movie that so blatantly pads its runtime with scenery. And what's scarier than that is that there are literally dozens of instances (that I didn't time with the stopwatch) where the human characters are shown doing nothing but sitting and looking at things for several minutes at a time, or walking up stairs, or standing and looking at random objects. It is pathetic how poorly edited and shot this movie is.
Literally nothing happens in this movie. If you don't believe me, go see it. You'll go cross-eyed before you ever find anything resembling a plot. If this thing was competently made just from a sheer editing standpoint, it would be 4 minutes long...if that.
OK this has to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Firstly the actors are pure rubbish, the special effects are also rubbish and they don't even us the cat pictured on the poster for the movie. This movie is a total waste of time the kids didn't even like this movie and I personally lost interest after 10 minutes into it. Seriously don't watch this movie unless you want to waste your time all my family agree that this movie was rubbish and im sure a lot of people would say the same thing. I would not recommend this movie to anyone not even young kids. I rate this movie a 1 out of 10 because as I have already said its awful, unwatchable and a complete waste of time I actually have a hard time believing that someone would want to make this movie. The only good decision they made with this movie was putting it straight to DVD if I went to see this in the cinema I would be asking for a refund.
From the director of such homoerotic thrillers as Leather Jacket Love
Story, Beastly Boyz, and Body Blow comes the thrilling erotic
adventures of a young confused transsexual teen and his lovable but
ineptly schizophrenic father.
There's also a talking cat.
Set in an imaginary land far away where the white spruce lined mountains of Wisconsin are only a mere 5 minute walk from the white sandy beaches of Hawaii, A Talking Cat's impressive 3 establishing shots of creeks and bridge will leave you breathless.
This wild adventure will take you through the intricate inner workings of unfinished logarithm data, a deeply troubled millionaire paranoid schizophrenic man-child, and delicious homemade cheese puffs.
The undisputed high point of the movie is the deeply touching underage homoerotic swimming lesson cut tragically short in a dramatic confrontation by a mother unable to cope with her daughter's unfortunate combination of ambition, competence, and integrity.
With a wonderfully crafted cell phone recorded/engineered voice-over cameo by Eric Roberts, this cinematic masterpiece is one the entire family can enjoy.
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