Smash Pictures is a gonzo porn distributor that, like many others, took a stab at couples/romantic videos a few years back with weak results. This poorly titled opus is amateurish at best and transparently not in sync with its subject matter.
It deals with a self-pitying bloke, poorly acted by Giovanni Francesco, who gets to hump beautiful fiancée Brooklyn Lee in the tastefully shot opening sex scene, but then receives a Dear John letter from her and scurries to his brother's house for support.
Johnny Castle is big bro, living with attractive blonde girlfriend Cindy (confusingly played by Bailey Blue -more about that later), with another pal of everyone's named Rebecca (redhead star Marie McCray) conveniently living there too.
The dialog is dismal, perhaps accounting for this feature having no writing credit. Director Jim Powers is not up to the task of telling a story, so he has the cast milling about and in one pricelessly inept party staging, feigning laughter and merriment on cue that was so bad I replayed it just to make sure I hadn't imagined it.
Sorting out of the romantic ups and downs of a talented and familiar cast is hampered by unforgivable sloppiness on several fronts. Chief irritant for me was the usual refusal to identify the characters' names properly. Case in point is one character named Bailey -no not the actress Bailey Blue but instead given to co-star Madison Ivy. Dreamy- eyed Ivy is one of the best Adult performers today, yet oddly under-appreciated, though Smash wisely elevated her to cover girl status for the recent reissue of its romance movies in a five-pack set.
Ivy's threesome scene with Johnny and Bailey is the best in the film, and the whole thing adds up to nothing. Perhaps gonzo filmmakers are incapable of doing anything else - I would cite this as well as the collected works of journeymen directors like Kendo and Quasarman as key examples.
As usual, facetious pornographers deal me a coup de grace, the sort of thing that makes me nearly paranoid. On the "special" features menu we are treated to an "all- sex version" of the movie, carefully leaving out any of those dreaded dialog scenes or attempts at characterization. Gresham's Law is operating at full force.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?