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"The Haunted Dollhouse" (aka "Devil Dolls") was a typical Charles Band
production, with that typical mid-eighties feel to it as there always
is to Charles Band's movies.
This is an anthology of three stories that deal with dolls in one way or another.
The first story is titled "The Protectors" and is about an Italian folklore legend about skull-faced elementals who guard a castle. This was actually the best of the three stories, and that doesn't really count for much, because this story wasn't particularly interesting. A group of thieves who pretend to be movie-makers gain access to an old castle in order to loot it for valuables, but come face to face with these skull-faced protectors. Right, well the story was adequate, but then you see these protectors who look like Papier Mâché-face puppets, who can shot energy rays from their eyes and is capable of turn the dead into zombies.
Then it got worse with story number two, titled "Worry Dolls". This was about girls locked up in some institute where both inmates and guards prey upon the weak. Some small, innocent-looking, children's toy known as worry dolls is given to a woman and they invade her body and enable her to do atrocious things to her inmates. Well, this story was just stupid and laughable. However, I will say that the effects in this one was actually the best of all three stories.
And finally it went from worst to horrible in the third and final segment titled "Dangerous Toys" who is about people shrunk down to doll size, one is a deluded police officer and the other is a stereotypical beach bimbo. This story just didn't make any sense at all, and I had to turn it off, because it was just horrible.
Charles Band have some fairly watchable and enjoyable movies to the list of produced movies, this "The Haunted Dollhouse" movie, however, was just awful and far from up to anything previous put out on the horror market by Charles Band.
You might find some kind of perverted enjoyment in this movie if you are a hardcore and die-hard fan of the unique (mid-eighties) style of Charles Band that seems to be present in every single movie of his. However, if you watch this to be entertained and scared, your money is better put elsewhere, because this movie does neither. I was really amused by the statement "A true trilogy of terror!" - I guess we all have very different and individual views of what terror is.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Sloppily culled together from large chunks of the fright flicks "Doll Graveyard," "Ragdoll," and "Demonic Toys," this chintzy would-be omnibus outing plays like a shoddy cliff notes version of those movies. The crudely condensed format ensures that none of these pictures can generate much in the way of tension, atmosphere, and fully realized characters. Worse yet, there's no attempt made to have all the individual segments jell together into a coherent and satisfying whole. Granted, this dud still delivers plenty of gore, but said splatter lacks any strong impact due to the lack of any proper build up. This junk quite simply represents Full Moon at its cheapest and laziest, with an appalling disregard for quality (the wraparound segments that announce the titles for each story are rendered with cut-rate CGI), continuity, and the artistic integrity of the original works. A total stinker.
Confusing, boring and rubbish. This was confusing for all my family as at first we didn't know it was 3 stories but then it goes on some sick storyline that we couldn't understand or could follow. First story was confusing for us all we didn't actually understand it or release where the story ended though. The second, was the most understanding though out of them all, yeah scene of rape and some scene of violence but then the third seems to have creepy dolls with no full understand of the story at all. Really not good, I just suggest if you have the option of this movie and another movie, choose the other movie. Overall it's a 1 just because we don't understand the story at all.
This is my first review but I am going to enjoy typing it.
Terrifying is indeed a bit of a stretch, and by a bit I mean you couldn't see it with a telescope let alone grasp the word. If you watched the trailer you would already know what to expect, if you haven't expect this: it is one of those movies that it is SO bad it's good.
Honestly it was really funny to watch, with such bad acting, bad graphics and the fact 3 stories are mashed into one movie it's obvious you're going to throw a rich story out the window. Oh but it was fun to watch, the fact it's category is set to "horror" made it more amusing. Since when you think the word "horror" you don't burst out laughing when you see the first "monster" and it just gets more ridiculous as it goes on.
To sum up: Fun to watch, don't take it seriously. I sure didn't.
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