Frankie Heck: I was afraid they were gonna run out of Marines. There aren't that many of them, you know. It's right there in the motto - "The Few. The Proud." I gotta say, I thought you'd be more patriotic about this.
Mike Heck: I am being patriotic. These people fight for our country. Haven't they been through enough?
Frankie Heck: Jeez. What is wrong with my parents?
Mike Heck: You're gonna have to be more specific.
Frankie Heck: The bickering. It's nuts, right? I don't get it. I mean, it seems to be getting worse. It's worse, right?
Mike Heck: Frankie, they've been together 50 years. Just be happy they're not starring in a "Dateline" unsolved mystery.
Tag Spence: I asked you to do one thing. Pack my gingko biloba.
Pat Spence: They're your gingko biloba. You want 'em, you gotta pack 'em. You're a grown man, for God's sake.
Tag Spence: They're for my memory! How the hell am I supposed to remember 'em if I don't take 'em?
Brad Bottig: Who punches a guy while he's on his tippy toes? That's not how a dance fight works. I mean, seriously, where did that guy go to summer camp?