What could be more important than Howard (
Simon Helberg) and Raj (
Kunal Nayyar) playing Dance Party on X-Box to a Japanese version of
YMCA dressed as Stormtroopers? Well, Sheldon (
Jim Parsons) would interrupt the end of the world to say he got a new t-shirt, so anything. Sheldon sent out an invitation to Professor Stephen Hawking to play Words With Friends and Hawking accepted. Sheldon is particularly excited that it's Words with FRIENDS, which meant he and Hawking were now friends. (SHELDON: All I need now is a bunk bed with a slide and I'll have everything I ever wanted since I was six years old!) But Raj decided he wanted to go back to dancing...and ripped his shirt off because "it's gonna get hot in here!"
Still, a shirtless Raj has to beat Bernadette (
Melissa Rauch) taking a shower and accidentally drying herself off with a pair of Howard's mother's underwear. ("I had to take another shower. It wasn't enough. Nothing will ever be enough.") And the only thing more shocking than Amy (
Mayim Bialik) seeing Sheldon's underwear drawer is a collegiate history book at Penny's (
Kaley Cuoco) apartment. She decided to enroll in a class at Pasadena Community College without telling Leonard (
Johnny Galecki). The reasons were certainly sound: she was afraid he'd go over the top saying how proud he was of her and think it was a big deal and try to help her.
AMY: You guys have got to be the weirdest couple I know.
PENNY: (understandably pissed) Really? You can't think of anyone weirder?
AMY: (hushed) I can, but she's sitting right there.
And later, when they were having dinner and Penny told him, he went over the top saying how proud he was of her and tried to help her with her paper on slavery. But she cut him off, not even allowing him to read it. Now a normal boyfriend would let it go, particularly when said girlfriend would give him the opportunity to sleep with a college girl for the first time. But this is a sitcom and Leonard had to get up in the middle of the night to read Penny's report. To her credit, she was totally against slavery, and she figured that would get her in good with her black professor. However, he decided he had to make changes to her paper.
Sheldon was actually doing quite well against Hawking. Amy gave him a suggestion of using Hawking's entry of "act" to make "extract." Sheldon thought it was cheating, but then he realized he could use the word "extract" (the noun, not the verb) and that wouldn't be cheating. He was wiping the floor with Wheels (his nickname for Hawking, which Hawking didn't like), but then Hawking doesn't play his next word for several days. Suddenly, Sheldon was concerned. According to Howard, Hawking is a bit of a baby when it came to competition. For example, Hakwing thought
Johnny Depp was the star of
The Matrix and when Howard showed him he was wrong, Howard ended up not being invited to a party Hawking threw at the university.
HOWARD: (imitating Hawking) I'm sorry, your invitation must have gotten lost in The Matrix.
While Sheldon tried to use the Jedi mind trick to get Hawking to play again and Howard and Raj debated how bad each other's accents were (No point in describing it, just watch it, it's hysterical), Leonard brought Penny breakfast in bed, along with a revised report on slavery. He tried to smooth it over by telling her the story about the Shoemaker and the Elves. (PENNY: Elves? Come on, Leonard. It's too early for Lord of the Rings.) Of course, Penny was livid about him rewriting her paper, saying he did it so he wouldn't have to be dating only a waitress. He tries to deny it but she rolls on, telling him in no uncertain terms that she would take the class on her own, passing or failing on her own merit.
PENNY: Oh, and since you like stories so much, this is not "The Shoemaker and the Elves", OK? This is "give a man a fish, he eats it; teach a man to fish, he...sells it...or something, whatever! I don't know, it's just a lot better than what you did, jerk!
After several days, Hawking finally plays a word. ("Coop and Rolling Thunder together again! He was OK with that nickname.") Now Sheldon has to play his word, but Howard reminds him he should tank the game so Hawking would win. Sheldon is all ready to do that, but then he thinks he'll be an intellectual fraud. But he doesn't want to lose his friend, but then he'll be a phony, a sellout, a Hollywood poser.
SHELDON: My mother always said 'to thine own self be true.' But then she also said every animal in the world got on one boat, so what does she know?
He sends it, and Hawking wins.
Speaking of winning, Penny knocked on Leonard's door a few days later to show him the B- she got on her report without any help from him. He was sorry, but she wasn't done rubbing it in.
PENNY: (mocking Leonard) Gee Penny, you're smarter than I thought. You may be the one in school, but I'm the one who learned a lesson. I'm so stupid, Penny. Duh.....!
SHELDON: (in hysterics) She sounded exactly like you!
And then she goes back to her apartment to thank Amy and Bernadette, who wrote the paper for her. Although she wasn't happy they only wrote it good enough to get her a B-. Bernadette argued they had to make it believable, and Penny put them in her crosshairs for saying she's not smart.
AMY: I feel like I'm in high school again.
BERNADETTE: Yeah, doing the prom queen's homework so she'll like us.
AMY: (elated) I know. It's finally working!
Oh, and if you thought Hawking was a sore loser, he's an even worse winner.
HAWKING. I really enjoyed our game, Doctor Cooper. Or should I say Doctor Loser? Do you like brain teasers? What do Sheldon Cooper and a black hole have in common? They both suck. Neener-neener.
company.