Palmer Heston: [OnTV. Sweets is watching Paranormal Abnormalities while eating cereal. The host is wearing a helmet camera, filming himself] This is Palmer Heston, in search of more paranormal abnormalities. Tonight, I'm coming to you live in the base of Dillinger Quarry where, since the York murders of 1923, there have been numerous sightings of the paranormal.
Dr. Lance Sweets: That's pretty scary, Palmer.
Palmer Heston: Now, some people say that the apparition is York's wife, looking for revenge.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I totally agree with that.
Palmer Heston: While others say it's York himself, searching for his mistress, still in love with her even though she killed him. Now, there's a full moon out tonight which is perfect because according to our documents, that's when the apparitions appear.
[Heston jumps at a loud noise]
Palmer Heston: Who's there?
Dr. Lance Sweets: It's a vengeful wife, man. Do not cheat on your wife. She will end you.
Palmer Heston: [the camera swings around to show a raccoon] Okay, it's an animal. But animals, as we know, are often precursors to the paranormal.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Good save, Palmer.
Palmer Heston: Hello? Hello.
[the host is moving towards a sound]
Palmer Heston: Remember. Fear is never your friend. Apparitions are always more afraid of you than you are of them.
[He is now moving towards a glowing light]
Palmer Heston: Hello.
Dr. Lance Sweets: [Staring wide eyed at the TV] A- an apparition.
Palmer Heston: [Getting closer] What the hell is that?
[the host sees a glowing body on the ground and runs towards it]
Dr. Lance Sweets: Oh!
[pointing at the TV]
Dr. Lance Sweets: Oh, oh!
[the camera now shows the skeleton up close, glowing and encrusted with what look like jewels]
Dr. Lance Sweets: Oh!
Dr. Lance Sweets: What is- Holy crap!
Palmer Heston: Oh my God. Oh, this is amazing. This is unbelievable. I'm gonna win a *bleeped out* Emmy for this!
Dr. Lance Sweets: [With cereal still in his mouth] Oh my- What is that?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Cam has just removed the victim's shoe and the foot fell apart] Sayonara. I don't even like feet... when they're *not* falling off. So, when you get a face, you get back to me, okay?
Dr. Lance Sweets: I can't actually picture you taking dance lessons.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, my mom taught me. She was a dancer.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Your mom was a dancer, and she taught you to dance.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, it was something we did together. She would put me on her feet and we would get the rhythm down. Anyways, I got older, and uh, I was good enough to teach.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Teach older women?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Mostly.
Dr. Lance Sweets: A lot of wandering hands, I bet.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, they would get tired... Or they would lose their balance.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Yeah. You were a gigolo.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. Stop.
Dr. Lance Sweets: You were a gigolo for thirty bucks an hour.
Wendell Bray: [to Hodgins] No, I get it. Your critters had more than enough time to pants the victim.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Seeing Bones in her dance warmup outfit] This is, uh... good look. You going to the hootenanny later?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Insulted] N- hootenanny is an informal gathering for singing and dancing. I am training for an extremely rigorous ballroom dance competition.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Oh.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Very determined] Booth and I intend to win the rumba competition.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Smiling, hopefully] And catch a murderer?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Softer now] Yes. Of course. That's the main objective.