Max's (Adam Pally
) fifth-grade stand-up routine notwithstanding (which sounds nothing at all like Jerry Seinfeld
), Jane (Eliza Coupe
) was having a tough time fitting in at the car dealership. It was an all-boys club, which happened to be Brad's (Damon Wayans Jr.
) specialty. He decided to help her break in so she could be a double threat. (She also could do an impression of Jack Nicholson
...just not very well.) Penny (Casey Wilson
) was having even more trouble. Thanks to falling down the stairs (the episodes are out of order again this year), she had to wear a helmet for a month. But Max was in even more pain when Brodie, someone everybody thought was a douchebag, came in to give Max a fist bump, only Brodie turned it into a turkey. And now Max thought he was a douchebag for breaking the sacred trust of the fist bump.
It turns out Max had good reason for being emotionally scarred. (for Max, anyway) Back in the fifth grade, someone did the "high-five, down-low, too slow" fake-out on him. He was traumatized, but not nearly as much as Dave (Zachary Knighton
), who was suddenly guilt-stricken because he invented the "high-five, down-low, too slow" fake-out. Max and Alex (Elisha Cuthbert
) found Dave wallowing in a Sangria-induced stupor (even had Sangria lips), no matter how much Max tried to tell him he didn't invent the "high-five, down-low, too slow" fake-out. But Dave was determined to make it up to Max by showing him a counter to the "wild turkey." That's what Brodie did to Max's fist bump by putting an open hand up...and I can't believe I'm actually explaining this. Anyway, Max tries it and succeeds, but Brodie counters with a "mashed potato." Now Max wants to kill the guy until Dave explains to Brodie Max was traumatized as a kid. Brodie apologizes and goes for the fist bump again, only to squid it away. Now Alex wanted to kill Brodie.
Jane and Brad invited the other car salespeople and their wives over to the house. Brad worked college football into the conversation so Jane could rail on the BCS. (Given Northern Illinois made it into the BCS, not a lot of Chicagoans are doing that this week.) But nobody was interested in football, although the Car Czar's (Rob Corddry
) wife was interested in the homemade candles Brad did in his candlemaking studio/laundry room. It turns out, that gave Jane an excuse to make fun of her "wife," which worked like a charm on the other salesmen. And she had her "in." Brad would go to spin class with the wives while Jane hung out with the husbands and made fun of the wives. Which worked great...until Brad stopped by the dealership to bring Jane lunch. Jane railed him in front of the other salesmen and Brad took offense to it.
Well, if Jane wanted a trophy wife, she was going to get one. The next day, Brad came back with the full panoply of trophy wife items: tennis outfit, large bag with a small dog in it...oh, that was a pig...and an attitude that would have put his old man's "Men on Film" gag from In Living Color
to shame. Jane was upset, but Brad told her he never talked smack about her to his banking buddies. She apologized for what she did and promised not to do it again. But that didn't stop the Car Czar from insulting Brad. Jane told him off, and the Car Czar got really mad at her. But since she was his best salesperson, she could insult him all she wanted.
Penny was depressed about wearing the helmet, but Alex brought her to a bicycle shop to get her a more stylish one. Penny appreciates her efforts, and the cute guy in the shop she bumps into didn't make matters worse. That is, until Pete, asks her out. At first, she refuses because of having to wear the helmet, but Alex convinces her otherwise. She goes back to Pete and accepts the date, thanking the good advice a friend gave her. The same friend who was banging her head into the wall to test the helmets.
Penny figure out how she could be on dates with Pete and still wear the helmet. Their first date, she convinced him to go on a Segway tour with her, even though she couldn't operate the thing to save her life. The moped safety lesson wasn't bad, but then he kind of drew the line when she made a picnic lunch for him...at a construction site...right next to the port-a-potty. Alex finally told her to admit the truth to Pete. Which naturally, she didn't. But then, a VERY awkward make-out session where she tried to keep Pete at bay from touching her head and even put a roll of paper towels between her head and the wall was the last straw. Finally, Penny broke down and admitted she hits her head on a lot, (PENNY: Like cartoon coyote a lot.) and the doctor was making her wear a helmet because of her concussions. Pete finally understood.
PETE: (putting the pink bicycle helmet on Penny) Every queen needs her crown.
PENNY: Aww! Calm down. Was all that was.
And Penny had herself a boyfriend.