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Fresh Meat (2012)

5.2
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Ratings: 5.2/10 from 890 users  
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A dysfunctional gang of criminals takes a middle class Maori family hostage and discovers too late that they are cannibals.

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Cast

Credited cast:
...
Hemi Crane
Nicola Kawana ...
Margaret Crane
Hanna Tevita ...
Rina
...
Gigi
Jack Sergent-Shadbolt ...
Johnny
Leand Macadaan ...
Ritchie
Ralph Hilaga ...
Paulie Tan
Kahn West ...
Glenn Crane
Will Robertson ...
Shaun Armstrong
...
Katene
...
Nisbet
Andrew Foster ...
Gallup
...
Strop
...
Wee Willy
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Peter Doile ...
Truck Stop Operator
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Storyline

A dysfunctional gang of criminals takes a middle class Maori family hostage and discovers too late that they are cannibals.

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

A Tasty Comedy

Genres:

Comedy | Horror

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25 October 2012 (New Zealand)  »

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Did You Know?

Quotes

Strop: I am gonna fuck your hairless arse all the way back to China.
Wee Willy: He will. I've seen it. Butter is your friend.
Strop: You speak English?
Ritchie: I'm from Otaki.
Strop: No shit. We got a place here in New Zealand sounds just like that.
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Crazy Credits

No one was actually eaten in the making of this film. See more »

Soundtracks

Highschool Hoodlums
Written by Rolf de Borst (as R De Borst), Christian Livingstone (as C Livingstone), Phil Somervell (as P Somervell), Ben Cole (as B Cole)
Performed by The Datsuns
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User Reviews

 
A train wreck with few redeeming features...
28 October 2012 | by (Wellington, New Zealand) – See all my reviews

Racing away to a 8.3/10 you can tell that reviewers are unbiased and informed in their opinion of films. I mean what a fantastic addition to New Zealand cinema. Not.

Firstly respect to the filmmakers for the ballsiness of casting a slightly-too-old, definitely-not-hot-enough, white girl with a mousy mustache as the to-die-for, lesbian and, most significantly, Asian hit woman. WTF..?

Clearly they wanted the kind of clichéd Anime femme fatale that runs around in ridiculous outfits designed for over-sexed 14 year old Japanese girls. You know like the hench-woman with the ball and chain in Kill Bill... You know, like a Tarantino film...

Trouble is Tarantino is derivative pap anyway, so copying him recycling someone or something else is just lame.

The film has about two good lines of dialogue which will probably (sadly, only) resonate with New Zealanders...

Its a crass, clumsy film with lots of awful, clunky, sexual sight-gags and voyeurism that seem a little out of date for today. Confessions of a Window Washer or Alvin Purple era stuff... Two captive women having to untie each other by undoing each other's ropes with their mouths, while in a top-and-tail position - i.e 69ing. Obvious and cringe-worthy... there are many such moments where the intended audience reveals itself to be 14 year old males.

There were some small charms but the characters, excepting the heroine (who was quite good), were all dull as hell. Morrison had a bit of fun in his role but it would have been nice if they had given him the chance to earn the alignment of the audience before revealing himself a crazy cannibal (who happens to be Maori). Instead he was a boring villain.

There were no surprises and the film plodded along, apeing Tarantino as it went.

The film IS clearly trying hard to do 'Tarantino': for example Mariachi music scores a gunfight during a prison escape (actual police, never mind the prison guards, don't carry firearms in this country.

The son of Mr.Cannibal is probably the worst character in the film, there is no acting involved and he is just freaking dull. Apeing Mr.Blonde in Reservoir Dogs before he butchers people he puts his headphones on and has a boogie for the camera. This might have been 'cool' if he could dance or this wasn't done in Reservoir Dogs which these filmmakers really wish they had made. the actor is a flash in the pan with one music video out so this was clearly his music to film career cross over.

It's shame he has no talent for music, dance, or acting... otherwise he'd be the total package.

Missed opportunities abound. The dialogue is lazy. See it on $1 Tuesdays on DVD.

Choice.


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