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Quotes

Bart Simpson: [after the car falls in the sinkhole] Oh, no! Lisa's face! It's exactly the same! Ha-ha-ha!

Mayor Quimby: For the first time in my administration, a problem has been solved. The sink hole has been filled by the thing it fears most: stuff.

Moe: When you've been around as long as I had, you get used to everything. Runaway monorails, giant sinkholes, Jeff Gordon...

Jeff Gordon: Hey, Moe.

Moe: Hey. I bet we never see him again.

Lisa Simpson: What are you doing in my room?

Bart Simpson: Just came to check on your shades. Wouldn't want your carpet to fade.

[Leaves, then comes back to look at Lisa suspiciously; leaves again, then returns]

Bart Simpson: What are you doing Tuesdays and Thrusdays after school?

Lisa Simpson: What are *you* doing Tuesdays and Thrusdays after school?

Bart Simpson: Mostly writing on the chalkboard. I'm open to suggestions. Seriously, I'm starting to run out of ideas. Now what are you up to?

Lisa Simpson: A lady never tells, a gentleman never asks.

Bart Simpson: That's good. Can I use it for the chalkboard?

Lisa Simpson: Sure.

Bart Simpson: [Speaking into recorder] A lady never tells, a gentleman never asks. Now I need something for Martin Luther King Day.

[Homer is in the voting booth, looking at his choices: Barack Obama or Mitt Romney]

Homer: Barack Obama... I don't know. I already have one wife telling me to eat healthy and he promised me death panels and Grampa's still alive. Mitt Romney? I hear he wears magic underpants. I expect the leader of the free world to go commando. Plus, his horse totally choked at the Olympics. On the other hand, he *did* invent Obamacare.

[votes for Romney]

Voting Machine: Thank you for voting Mitt Romney. You may now see his tax return.

[tax return is displayed on screen]

Homer: What's this? Medical deduction for a personality implant? He has six wives all named Ann. The government paid *him* taxes for five years! I've got to tell the press!

[a man-sized tube extends from the voting booth and begins to suck Homer in]

Voting Machine: You are now being outsourced.

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Marge Simpson: The reason I don't want this car is because... I want to have another baby.

Homer Simpson: An on-purpose baby?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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