At the factory where the world-famous Midsomer Blue Cheese is made, a dairy worker is brutally murdered by a giant round of weaponized cheese.



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Episode cast overview, first billed only:
Tamzin Malleson ...
Hayley Brantner
Patrick Robinson ...
Gregory Brantner
Lucy Liemann ...
Beatrix Ordish
Oliver Ordish
Eloise Webb ...
Poppy Ordish
Debbie Moffett
Maggie Steed ...
Sylvia Mountford
Jim Caxton
Helen Caxton
Jesse Fox ...
Jake Yapley


After threatening to expose secrets of other parents at Midsomer Pastures school, single mum Debbie Moffett is lured by a phone call to her death in the dairy where she worked. She had been having an affair with Oliver Ordish, whose wife Beatrix was chair of the school's PTA, and when he too is killed, Beatrix is the prime suspect. Greg Brantner, whose wife Hayley inherited the dairy from her late father, had worked with Debbie to streamline it, antagonizing local farmer Helen Caxton and her brother-in-law, dairyman Jim Caxton. Further deaths suggest dairy politics are the motive until Barnaby discovers that several of the suspects and victims had been contemporaries as pupils at Midsomer Pastures. He must find out which one was schooled in murder. Written by don @ minifie-1

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Crime | Drama | Mystery





Release Date:

30 January 2013 (UK)  »

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Last episode with DS Ben Jones. See more »


[first lines]
Beatrix Ordish: Can you take notes?
Sylvia Mountford: [claps several times] Ladies. Shall we commence?
See more »

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User Reviews

The Cheese Stands Alone
14 December 2014 | by (Victoria, BC. Canada) – See all my reviews

This is one of my favourite episodes in the whole series old and new. But be warned, it is a self parody of the series. Midsomer murders are nearly always theatrical, but to my thinking, this set of murders would likely not all have succeeded, e.g. the opening bludgeoning with a block of, albeit hard, cheese. The episode revolves around the making of gourmet cheese.

There is also a subplot about Sykes the dog, who for some reason, is being treated for dog bites, even though it looks suspiciously as if he were never bitten. The cinematography used to reveal the mystery is brilliant. I howled.

Maggie Steed as Sylvia Mountford is a treat. I would go to anything she does for the same reason I would go see anything Maggie Smith does. She reminds me of Peter Sellers as Grand Duchess Gloriana XII in the Mouse that Roared. She is so regally disdainful in her role. She would be a natural cast for an Oscar Wilde revival.

Jesse Fox as Jake Yapley (the hooded lurker) is probably the handsomest male ever to appear on the series, old or new. He is only on screen for a total of a few minutes. So savour. He has much the effect on me that Rudolph Valentino had in his day on his fans. A glance from his eyes is like a jolt from a defibrillator. Unfortunately, there is no photo of him at IMDb yet. (hint hint). However, I doubt any photo could do him justice. I hope Acorn reuses him in future episodes with a bigger role.

Child actress Eloise Webb as Poppy Ordish seems to have walked straight out of Mary Poppins. She could play Jane Banks in a Many Poppins sequel. She is the quintessential polite British schoolchild, utterly charming with her perfect diction.

Con O'Neill is over the top as the obsessed cheese maker who reminds me a bit of Harry Dean Stanton or perhaps Norman Bates.

As usual, I kept thinking I knew the culprit, only to have them bumped off in the next scene.

The height of my trip to England was visiting the Wookey Hole caves, which too are used for ageing fine cheeses. This helped cement my affection for the episode.

Even though, at the end, the culprit(s) (no spoilers here), mysteriously confess without any motive or pressure, I was left still puzzled exactly who committed each murder and why. Perhaps another viewing...

9 of 10 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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