Android Insurrection (2012) User Reviews

very bad

[alexfromhorn · 2/10 · 18 June 2012]

Very bad. It's not even a b-movie it's way less. The effects aren't even that bad sometimes but the interaction of what's animated and what's not completely failed. Acting was so horrible that I had to laugh but how long are you able to laugh over bad acting? I wasn't long for sure. The story is wacky. The dialogs are so bad that I think some old-school He-Man or Captain Planet dialogs were way better. Screenplay was not thought through. And that woman with the laser sword simply gave me the rest. That was just a big pain for me to watch I don't feel like I will rent any more sci-fi movies in my life because of this. So this is neither recommendable for sci-fi fans nor trash-movie fans because it's just not entertaining.

Small Wonder had more convincing robots

[jet66 · 2/10 · 31 December 2012]

A truly magnificent work of unintentional comedy, Android Insurrection is an astonishingly incompetent piece of film making. Sandwiched between opening and closing jumbo-sized slabs of expository monologue, the story is a fairly straight-forward military fantasy. Per contemporary convention, there's an elite team of arrogant meat-heads and hot babes who are the last line of defense against The Threat - in this case, robots. Of course, there are complications, and at least one major character discovery that anyone can see from the beginning of the movie.

Through the course of this tediously familiar journey, the actors stumble over dialog that doesn't serve to advance any story, but really just create argumentative conflict (often, lifting classic lines such as "skin job," and "nuke it from space"). And since we never really learn anything about most of the cannon fodder here, we don't really care when meat hits the fan. Which is frequently.

I'm no military expert, but if I were in a fire fight, I'd probably duck when the shooting starts. But not this "elite team." Sluggishly reacting against computer generated targets that were added later, the cast look as energized as my grandfather putting on the 4th hole at Leisure World. I'd like to blame that all on director Bellware giving his actors nothing but a green screen to act against. But these people can't even carry convincing conversation with one another. It doesn't help that the commanding colonel barks orders with a hilariously awful, stage-comic German accent (and why German, anyway?). But then, there's the red- haired android - a sort of eye-candy slurry of Cherry 2000's Melanie Griffith and the Fifth Element's Leeloo - who combines a clumsy interpretation of robot mannerisms with Valley Girl up-talking. Then again, maybe that really is "artificial intelligence."

In the end, though, there is one nutritious lump in this otherwise thin gruel: the technology design. The non-humanoid robots are really imaginative, and interesting to look at. But they don't carry a movie. Google some still shots, instead.

Not even bad

[pmstone3 · 1/10 · 27 December 2012]

It would have to get better to be merely bad. The acting is corny to the extreme. Right up to and including "The Colonel" with the laughably funny, fake German accent. The Hitler style mustache tops it off. I really love the one guy who acts like he's having an epileptic seizure every time he shoots his weapon. As to special effects, my son created better when he took his first computer class in grade school. The guns don't even shoot. The muzzle blasts are added, sometimes not even lined up with the guns. And someone missed one whole scene where one of the mercs was shooting at a robot using something similar to a pump tactical shotgun. She was pumping it and pulling the trigger non-stop, but nothing was happening. The landing ship was interesting. The whole rear end of the ship was all jet engine, which incidentally was an almost exact copy of the tail of a Lockheed L-1011 airliner. But when they landed, somehow a landing ramp extended, apparently right out of the engine. The old style Japanese movies like Ultra-Man are as bad as they come, but they're better then this dog.

low budget, B-movie

[hapihakr · 5/10 · 16 November 2012]

My initial reaction was that it sucks. In fact, I stopped it after the first 10 minutes of the movie and called my cable provider to demand a refund. They had the audacity to charge $4.99 for this 24 hour rental. The rep I spoke with refused to refund me. I went to bed, got up the next day, and gave it another try. I figured I paid for it, I may as well watch it. I'm a big sci-fi fan and I can tolerate a lot of absurdity with bad acting and poor special effects so long as the story line is engaging. After my initial shock, I'd have to say that I was entertained. I'll give this one 5 out of 10. It's definitely not in the same class as Terminator, Matrix, I-Robot, or even Lost In Space ("Danger, Will Robinson!"). But if you like sci-fi more for engaging your imagination than wowing your eyeballs, then this may be entertaining for you. It was for me.

Very poor

[danslabin · 1/10 · 28 December 2012]

This is a very poor excuse for a movie. If it got better after the first 5 minutes I shall never know because that is how long I lasted before completely giving up on this (movie). It was like a group of movie students had spent their last $4 on making a movie. I paid $1.20 at Redbox and feel cheated - shame on your Redbox for such crappy titles in your catalog. Do not waste your time with this movie, it really is that bad. There are no redeeming features. casting, scripting, editing , camera work, special effects, characterization - failure at all points. I gave this movie one star because there is no option to give it less than one. I love Sci-fi as a genre and have watched a few howlers in my time but life really is too short to be watching such utter drivel.

RedBox ripped me off $1.20

[riderdiablo · 1/10 · 20 January 2013]

I will never get my $1.20 back, or the 30 minutes I spent watching this POS. This was truly one of the most amazing piece of crap I've ever seen. The hilariously serious "german" colonel with the Hitler mustache, the horrible CGI graphics, the fake dialog, terrible storyline, endless (for 30 minutes at least) walking around in someone's garage that had been decorated into a warehouse scene all worked together to nauseate my brain. I did not know that 1990's pickup trucks and 80's forklifts were going to survive into the year 2500!!! Wow, must go buy one and then park it in the garage, wait, they already did that here! Dang! I also noticed the missed GCI weapons firing shot, thought it was me, but went back and there she was, shaking that gun but no shots being fired. Truly amazing... Hope they didn't spend any more than $100 on the whole set. Unfortunately they'll make a million $$ only because of a good distribution - Shame on you RedBox! Don't rent this movie! It will only p** you off - after the laughter stops.

Truly Awful

[jeremyvarker · 1/10 · 14 January 2013]

I can't remember the last time I watched a film this bad. If I had downloaded it illegally I would still feel that I had been robbed! The only slight saving grace were some of the CGI shots, but even those could have been done on a Commodore 64. If I said the acting was wooden, I would be lying, it wasn't that good. The usual story line, "elite fighting unit" (sorry that made me laugh!) battling to destroy an artificial intelligence gone mad. Well it wasn't that smart, it spent the first 10 minutes of the film explaining the film and the last 10 minutes explaining what was happening after. Still, at least I know that I won't see a film that bad for a long time, so things are looking up.

Elite commandos vs robots

[krachtm · 2/10 · 18 December 2013]

The plot: A team of elite commandos infiltrate an enemy base to extract a group of friendly androids.

I'm really not sure where to even start. Given the apparent budgetary restrictions, any criticism of this film seems almost mean-spirited, but there are so many problems that you'd have to be a member of the cast or crew to like it. Even their relatives probably wouldn't rate it well. I have a high tolerance for low budgets, bad acting, and crappy special effects. I can even enjoy the occasional Z-grade movie. I'm sure that everyone involved in this project is a nice person, and it looks like they probably had some fun making it... but it's just not a very good film.

The skeletal story involves a team of elite commandos who fight against killer AIs and try to extract friendlies from an enemy base. The commandos are your basic B-movie archetypes who speak in clichés and recycled lines from other science fiction films. The special effects are YouTube-level, though they do show a certain degree of imagination. The acting ranged from amateurish to astonishingly bad. Really, I could have handled the acting if only they had cut the scenes of the guy with the fake German accent. There was no real tension or atmosphere at all. I wouldn't be too surprised if this were actually an amateur film that somehow managed to get professionally distributed.

The only thing that would keep this off Syfy is the language, but it would be trivial to clean it up. My guess is that Syfy fans will probably be soon sharing in our collective pain. If you have a high tolerance for Z-grade science fiction (such as Star Trek fan films on YouTube), you'll might be able to sit through this. I did. The ending credits have a kind of cool song. That was probably the best part of this film. Also, some of the cast are attractive. I'm struggling to find anything else positive to add. If all you want is 90 minutes of mindless violence against robots, I guess you watch this, but there are much better choices.

What were they thinking?

[curran_adam · 1/10 · 13 March 2014]

I have struggled through this, so you don't have too.

This is a poor attempt at a Terminator Salvation knock off. Its so bad. So, so Bad.

The acting is terrible, the CGI is worse, and the story is really really really bad.

It starts so promising with an Android using a Light Sabre and then quickly goes down hill. The ending is disjointed too, and doesn't fit the rest of the movie at all. What were they thinking?

By far and away the worst movie I have seen in a while. The 1.8/10 on IMDb is being far to generous. I'd struggle to give this a 1.

Avoid this movie. Its not good.

painfully bad. don't do it!

[shadyoak77 · 1/10 · 28 September 2013]

I am to submit 10 line.... acting? where? action nope. story line? heehaws nope! hot girls.... well maybe. good camera work on aforementioned hot girls? nope :( time wasted absolutely. made me sign up to this website yes!!! there should be fines for movies like this. possibly use as a "how not to" movie..... should not be on any shelf for monetary gain. I'm starting to think that me my phone my buds and a couple of girls from the bar can certainly make a go of the movie industry in the last couple of years.

I was in a glad mood when I started my evening but now its a glum situation!

"I don't get any human signature" .... from this movie.

[badoli · 1/10 · 13 May 2018]

It was the worst movie i've seen this year. Actually calling it a movie is an understatement, this wouldn't pass as a student film.

The effects are horrible, the maker could have improved massively by just watching any youtube tutorial on 3D and postprocessing. The actors are horrible, unable to even hold a basic conversation in a human fashion. The camera is horrible, capturing willingly minutes of exposition dialog while being unable to show what's happening during action sequences. And the script is horrible as i am still not sure what was actually happening here.

The general plot is very genereric. There is lots and lots of boring exposition dialog as filler. And yet it's so incomprehensive, i i still have no idea how this world functions. Then there are the attempts at drama and conflict, which are all way above what the actors are able to deliver. And the story twists are laughable and predictable.

This movie isn't even bad enough to be hillarous, it's just simply boring. The worst kind.

Avoid the Insurrection

[paid-591-239931 · 1/10 · 26 January 2013]

As most reviews say, awful film. Took me 1/3 of the movie to figure out what the real story was about. Sure it's low budget, but that does not excuse a bad plot, bad script and a silly ending. It was filmed completely in some large industrial building, which in itself is not really bad, but it is supposed to be a mile underground, and there are current era vehicles (film set far in future) and windows in the machine shop, not to mention the 1990's stereo, photocopier, and much more. Guess they did their best to hide much and use the same set-dec for many scenes. I particularly liked the footsteps that do not change sound regardless of the floor covering, speed or force of step - and at times not synchronized with the actual motion. So much random shooting and uncoordinated flash-bangs in this film, and many of the scenes skip over where special effects should have been, cant afford, just skip the frame and hope the viewers don't realize. lol. I shall end with one word, awful.

awful, awful, and even more awful

[jmc1969 · 1/10 · 10 September 2014]

I fortunately didn't have to pay a cent to watch this POS, as it was on Netflix for free, but i still feel robbed for some reason! The cgi was gawd AWFUL, the acting was worse, and the story line was non existent. What the hell kind of 1st year film student (at local community college) came up with this piece of film dung.! I'm not actor, but i guarantee i could act better than anyone in this movie, and i particularly liked the previous comment that better cgi could have been made on a commodore 64. Not only was this supposed to take place in an underground warehouse, but also 400 years or so in the future?? has anyone noticed the Red 2010 Ticket on the fire extinguisher in the "underground bunker"? WTF. I didn't know paper lasted 500 years in an office room setting. And whats up with the 84 dodge pickup parked in the "garage"? And if they were so desperate to get to the surface and out of the building, why the f**K didn't they just hit the button for the 40 foot "roll up door" lining the whole backdrop of the "set"? It takes a real genuine masterpiece POS to get me to have to sign up on this site and vent. Like i said, i didn't have to pay for this movie(thank god) and thankfully i was able to fast forward thru most of the REALLY awful dialogs, (which was most of the movie), but then i found myself saying WTF just happened, so I actually had to rewind back thru just to see how or where things progressed, only to be stumped further. If you thought the Legend of Bogey Creek was a cheesy campy film, then you are in for a real treat with this POS! I spent the whole time watching this movie and shaking my head just unable to believe someone could actually make something this AWFUL. I've never seen a Po's like this , and on the POS scale, i give it a solid 10!

Android Scrapyard

[lone-wolf-007 · 1/10 · 31 December 2013]

From the start to the end the first thing you will notice about this movie is the low budget and amateur acting. Budget so low there are only 3 types of robots and 1 is used 3 times as guards. The plot involves a group of soldiers sent to retrieve a robot from a robot stronghold. That is about it. The stronghold looks like an office building and a garage. The robots look about on line with PS1 graphics and the acting is awful. Flat dialog left and right as the actors go through the motions. For a min I thought I was watching something from the asylum but even they are not responsible for this train wreck. You know its a chore if you're looking at the clock several times during its 75 min running time. The CGI is about as cheap as the budget. The robots look bad, the gunfire is cgi and as the actors just shoot wildly at the green screen you can't help but laugh. A time waster if anything and only for those who can watch bad movies longer than 10 min.

NOT YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S ROBOTS

[nogodnomasters · 3/10 · 24 July 2018]

I am not sure where to start. This is a very bad film, but has some camp value. The film takes place in the year 2532. We know robots have taken over all of our tasks, but we don't know anything about society or why there is a desert between Philadelphia and New York, why it is called the Philadelphia Desert, or why the young Prince of England is there being held captive by a robot. Afterwards, a group of humans take on the task of rescuing an android and whatever humans they can find from a rogue AI manufacturing facility which looks like a large 20th century metal frame warehouse complete with office cubicles and marks-a-lot eraser boards.

The crew takes their orders from a man (David Ian Lee) with a varying bad German accent, Elvis chops and a Hitler mustache. The android they rescue (Sarah-Doe Osborne) is one of those jerk your head around androids. The special effects were made worse once it got to the editors where they ensured the sounds of gun fire and the CG gun flames hopelessly don't match. There is a "Star Wars" type light laser. Sometimes it uses a blue CG light, but in battle the laser looks like it is plastic pea green. There were a lot of pauses as if the actors forgot their lines. Oh yes. The film has a twist, but at that point, who cares? Virginia Logan is the main actor in this one. She runs around showing off her bare midriff. Her name is Foxwell, perhaps to make us think about a low budget "Transformers" Megan Fox. She tried to carry the film, but it was just too much of a stinker.

The film is worse than a SyFy production or Asylum. The beginning has a long narration about robots and likewise the ending has an extremely long boring narration followed by the movie credits...Seriously, who does that? 8th graders?

The DVD cover says "brief nudity" which is kind of odd, because the film itself has no nudity. It does have B&W nudity at the very beginning to present the film logo, but none in the main body of the film.

Parental Guide: F-bombs. No sex. Aforesaid nudity. $9.96 Walmart. They took me. Might sell well in states where pot is legal.

I am so sorry that i watched this movie!

[bohauo-03469 · 1/10 · 21 April 2020]

I am very sorry for you if you saw this movie... I am very sorry that i saw this movie, that is 78 min that i will never get back. I can't write a review because i have nothing good to say about it, if you can see this movie for free, please do so then you will have seen something at the very rock bottom, but don't spend any money on it, not even a dime!

I am so sorry that i saw this movie!

[bohauo-03469 · 1/10 · 21 April 2020]

I am very sorry for you if you saw this movie... I am very sorry that i saw this movie, that is 78 min that i will never get back. I can't write a review because i have nothing good to say about it, if you can see this movie for free, please do so then you will have seen something at the very rock bottom, but don't spend any money on it, not even a dime! I saw this movie on May 11, 2016 and it scared me for life, this is the worst movie i have ever seen.