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"Holliston" Joe's Soda (TV Episode 2013) Poster

(TV Series)

(2013)

Quotes

Mark Ward: I'm not a werewolf. I was doing bath salts, OK? I started partying on... what day is it?

Adam: Sunday.

Mark Ward: It is? I've been high since Tuesday, awesome!

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Oderus Urungus: I'm an alien monster not Casper the stupid ghost!

Adam: Friendly. Casper's a friendly ghost.

Oderus Urungus: Oh whatever. He sucks and you suck for knowing that!

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Joe: Cory Haim was also in LICENSE TO DRIVE or as it's called in Adam's collection... LICENSE TO SWALLOW 13.

Adam: Now that's definitely not true. I haven't even finished LICENSE TO SWALLOW 12 yet.

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Corri: I'm bleeding! I'm bleeding!

Joe: Apparently so is Adam this week.

Corri: Some guy bit me on my arm!

Laura: We've all got problems today, Corri. I'm trying to fill out a wicked hard application, take a number.

Corri: I am bleeding!

Joe: My Diet Coke is flat! Do we really wanna start this right now, Corri?

Adam: Some guy bit you? Where?

Laura: On her arm. Do you even read the scripts you write?

Adam: No, I mean where did it happen?

Corri: I was walking out of the hospital and some crazy guy was being dragged in by the EMT.

Laura: Aww, I always get so sad when ET goes home.

Corri: No, EMT? The ambulance driver?

Laura: [Pointing to Corri's injury, ala ET] "Ooooouch."

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Corri: A werewolf? Seriously? How much have you guys had to drink tonight?

Joe: Not a drop! There's no carbonation in this soda whatsoever!

Adam: Not now, Joe.

Joe: Oh, Oh, let's just make it all about the B-story, huh?

Adam: B-Story? What's the A-story line?

Joe: [Joe points at his flat Diet Coke]

Adam: Wow, we're getting pretty desperate for story lines, huh?

Joe: Yeah.

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Adam: Hold still, Guy from American Werewolf in London.

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Corri: What happened with the guy?

Adam: Joe untied him and let him escape.

Joe: That was you!

Adam: Just go with it.

Joe: That was me.

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Laura: Thank God you're back. Corri is so mean when she's a werewolf.

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Corri: If you don't let me go to the bathroom right now I am never talking to any of you again ever.

Adam: Get the party bucket, Joe.

Corri: The party bucket?

Joe: You know, sometimes when you've got the spins and...

Corri:

  • I am not peeing in a bucket!


Adam: Fine! I'll take you to the bathroom.

Corri: No. Laura can take me.

Adam: I really think I should be the one to take you to the bathroom, Corri.

Corri: You are not watching me pee, Adam.

Adam: Damnit.

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Adam: You're dreaming, dreaming, dreaming. Go back to sleep, sleep, sleep. Get back together with Adam, Adam Adam...

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Lance Rockett: Fake Eddie Van Halen is passing a kidney stone so the band is on hiatus until he pops that sucker out.

Adam: How metal.

Lance Rockett: Kidney stones are not metal. Lance Rockett always says, "Drink plenty of water, watch for calcium build-up, and stay in school." Words I live by. That, and... "Always shave the taint."

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Laura: Ha! Ha! Ha! Your dog died!

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Corri: I am not a werwolf. Werewolves aren't real.

Laura: Spoken like a true werewolf who's trying to convince someone who's not a werewolf that they're not a werewolf.

Corri: ...What?

Laura: I don't know, get out of my head!

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Lance Rockett: On second thought, maybe I should go see if Fake Eddie needs any help passing that stone through his... penis. Penis. PENIIII-IS- YEAH!

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Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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