Mark Ward: I'm not a werewolf. I was doing bath salts, OK? I started partying on... what day is it?
Mark Ward: It is? I've been high since Tuesday, awesome!
Oderus Urungus: I'm an alien monster not Casper the stupid ghost!
Adam: Friendly. Casper's a friendly ghost.
Oderus Urungus: Oh whatever. He sucks and you suck for knowing that!
Joe: Cory Haim was also in LICENSE TO DRIVE or as it's called in Adam's collection... LICENSE TO SWALLOW 13.
Adam: Now that's definitely not true. I haven't even finished LICENSE TO SWALLOW 12 yet.
Corri: I'm bleeding! I'm bleeding!
Joe: Apparently so is Adam this week.
Corri: Some guy bit me on my arm!
Laura: We've all got problems today, Corri. I'm trying to fill out a wicked hard application, take a number.
Corri: I am bleeding!
Joe: My Diet Coke is flat! Do we really wanna start this right now, Corri?
Adam: Some guy bit you? Where?
Laura: On her arm. Do you even read the scripts you write?
Adam: No, I mean where did it happen?
Corri: I was walking out of the hospital and some crazy guy was being dragged in by the EMT.
Laura: Aww, I always get so sad when ET goes home.
Corri: No, EMT? The ambulance driver?
Laura: [Pointing to Corri's injury, ala ET] "Ooooouch."
Corri: A werewolf? Seriously? How much have you guys had to drink tonight?
Joe: Not a drop! There's no carbonation in this soda whatsoever!
Adam: Not now, Joe.
Joe: Oh, Oh, let's just make it all about the B-story, huh?
Adam: B-Story? What's the A-story line?
Joe: [Joe points at his flat Diet Coke]
Adam: Wow, we're getting pretty desperate for story lines, huh?
Corri: What happened with the guy?
Adam: Joe untied him and let him escape.
Joe: That was you!
Adam: Just go with it.
Joe: That was me.
Laura: Thank God you're back. Corri is so mean when she's a werewolf.
Corri: If you don't let me go to the bathroom right now I am never talking to any of you again ever.
Adam: Get the party bucket, Joe.
Corri: The party bucket?
Joe: You know, sometimes when you've got the spins and...
- I am not peeing in a bucket!
Adam: Fine! I'll take you to the bathroom.
Corri: No. Laura can take me.
Adam: I really think I should be the one to take you to the bathroom, Corri.
Corri: You are not watching me pee, Adam.
Adam: You're dreaming, dreaming, dreaming. Go back to sleep, sleep, sleep. Get back together with Adam, Adam Adam...
Lance Rockett: Fake Eddie Van Halen is passing a kidney stone so the band is on hiatus until he pops that sucker out.
Adam: How metal.
Lance Rockett: Kidney stones are not metal. Lance Rockett always says, "Drink plenty of water, watch for calcium build-up, and stay in school." Words I live by. That, and... "Always shave the taint."
Corri: I am not a werwolf. Werewolves aren't real.
Laura: Spoken like a true werewolf who's trying to convince someone who's not a werewolf that they're not a werewolf.
Laura: I don't know, get out of my head!