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"Castle" Murder He Wrote (TV Episode 2012) Poster

(TV Series)

(2012)

Quotes

Kate Beckett: [about Ryan and Esposito's interest in their relationship] I don't understand why they even care.

Richard Castle: Ah, why do people care about Brangelina?

Kate Beckett: Oh, so we're Brangelina now?

Richard Castle: No. No, no. We're...

[he thinks]

Richard Castle: ... Rickate.

[This doesn't work for them]

Richard Castle: No, we're Kate-ick.

[Another miss]

Richard Castle: Caskett. Oh, that's good! 'cause of the whole murder thing? Caskett.

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Richard Castle: [showing Beckett his house in the Hamptons] Everything okay?

Kate Beckett: [uneasy] Yeah, it's, um... it's spectacular, Castle.

Richard Castle: And is that a problem?

Kate Beckett: It's just... I can't help wondering how many other girls have gotten this tour.

Richard Castle: Right. Well, I'm not gonna deny that I've brought other women up here. But, um...

[he takes her hand in a show of comfort and reassurance]

Richard Castle: ...none of them were you.

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Richard Castle: [leading Beckett to his pool] I am sure you will find the temperature suitable, but if you would like it any warmer, I can change the temperature, or...

[as he talks, Beckett takes off her robe, revealing she's naked]

Richard Castle: ...I... could... just... stop talking. You forgot your suit.

Kate Beckett: [coyly] I know.

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Kate Beckett: We should interrogate Natalia Roosevelt.

Chief Brady: Oh, I already spoke to her. She has no motive for killing Franklin.

Kate Beckett: And did you ask her about being his mistress?

Chief Brady: [stunned] No. She didn't mention that.

Richard Castle: Yeah, suspects tend to hold back on stuff like that.

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Kate Beckett: Dead bodies, meth heads, mobsters. Is that what you meant by a romantic weekend?

Richard Castle: Need I remind you that it was murder that brought us together in the first place?

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[last lines]

Richard Castle: You know, it's funny. My cover was that I was coming out here to write, and I actually got an idea for a book.

Kate Beckett: [lighting romantic candles] Oh, "Hamptons Heat". So you're serious about that, huh?

Richard Castle: Well, I already have the story. That's the hardest part.

Kate Beckett: So, do you have an ending yet?

Richard Castle: Oh. Well, I had some ideas. But, uh, I'm open to... suggestions.

Kate Beckett: How about this: "The weekend hadn't turned out exactly as Detective Heat had imagined, but now nothing..."

Richard Castle: [Beckett seductively climbs into bed and mounts him] Ooh!

Kate Beckett: "... not even another murder on the beach could stop her from getting exactly what she desired most."

[she and Castle kiss]

Richard Castle: Hmm. That's good.

Kate Beckett: Can I get a writer's credit?

Richard Castle: We'll talk.

Kate Beckett: Okay.

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Richard Castle: Lerner's alibi checks out. He was at the weight loss group from 8:30 to 10 o'clock last night. Meaning someone else took out his boat, killed Franklin, and brought it back without Lerner... learning.

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Kevin Ryan: Hey, Castle. Yeah, I'm gonna put you on speakerphone so you can weigh in on this.

Richard Castle: [with Beckett] Weigh in on what?

Kevin Ryan: Well, we're in the morgue with Lanie trying to figure out who Beckett's boyfriend is.

[Beckett looks at the phone, alarmed]

Lanie Parish: I have nothing to do with this nonsense.

Richard Castle: Yeah, until you're bagging their mangled bodies when Beckett finds out.

[Beckett smiles]

Javier Esposito: [scoffs] Pfft. Like we're afraid of Beckett.

Kevin Ryan: Besides, how's she gonna find out?

[Beckett grabs for the phone to chew them out, but Castle beats her to the punch]

Richard Castle: Anyway... I need your guys' help.

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Kate Beckett: [arriving in the Hamptons, in awe of Castle's house] Oh, my goodness, Castle. Wow. So, um, are you rich or something?

Richard Castle: Well, I'm not James Patterson rich, but I do okay.

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Richard Castle: T-minus one minute and counting.

Kate Beckett: [lowering her voice] Castle, what are you doing here? We're supposed to wait around the corner so that nobody would see us.

Richard Castle: I know, but I thought it would be fun to be here with you when the clock strikes 5:00. You know, just like New Year's Eve, except without the kissing, for obvious reasons. But there will be plenty of that this weekend.

Kate Beckett: Can you just shush?

Richard Castle: No one is going to hear me. Look around you. You are in a room full of detectives, and not one of them has a clue.

Kate Beckett: Wow, Castle, thank you for reminding me that I'm lying to a bunch of people that I really care about so I don't get fired on an ethics violation 'cause I'm dating you.

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Richard Castle: There she is. Our lady in the white dress. Only now she's looking dazzling in blood red. So, what's our play?

Kate Beckett: Just keep it light, Castle. Find a natural way of bringing up the murder. See how she reacts.

Richard Castle: I know just what to do.

[Castle and Beckett approach Natalie]

Richard Castle: Hey, I recognize you. You were at Doug Shapiro's party last night.

Natalia Roosevelt: [wry laugh] Who wasn't?

Richard Castle: [fake laugh] Right? But I saw you on the beach. Weren't you arguing with Randall Franklin?

[Beckett chokes on her drink]

Kate Beckett: [whispering] Light, Castle. I said "light".

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Aaron Lerner: Just last week, Franklin was complaining about a local.

Kevin Ryan: A local drug dealer?

Aaron Lerner: Yes! Seems he didn't appreciate us moving in on his business.

Kevin Ryan: Who? Give me a name.

Aaron Lerner: I don't know a name. But Franklin seemed really spooked.

Kevin Ryan: What else did he tell you about him?

Aaron Lerner: That's all I know. Everything else I told to Brady and his two consultants.

Kevin Ryan: Two consultants?

Aaron Lerner: Yeah, yeah! The writer, Castle, and his girlfriend.

Kevin Ryan: Girlfriend? Wha... wha... what do you mean girlfriend?

Aaron Lerner: What does that matter?

Kevin Ryan: Hey! Hey! I'll ask the questions here, pal! Are you telling me that Richard Castle brought his girlfriend in your interrogation?

Aaron Lerner: [after a look and a shrug from his lawyer] Yeah.

Kevin Ryan: What was her name?

Aaron Lerner: I don't remember.

Kevin Ryan: Well, then describe her.

[Ryan slams the tabletop]

Kevin Ryan: Describe her, Lerner! Now!

Aaron Lerner: Okay! Tall! Uh... uh... medium length hair. What's this about?

Kevin Ryan: What... what color? Give me a hair color.

Aaron Lerner: Uh... brown. Brown, brown eyes, too, I think. Really pretty.

Kevin Ryan: Body type?

Aaron Lerner: Awesome. I mean *awesome*. She was like... thin, gorgeous. She was hot. She was really hot. Kate! Name was Kate!

Kevin Ryan: [stunned] Son of a...!

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[first lines]

Martha Rodgers: Isn't this exciting?

Richard Castle: It's just a weekend, mother.

Alexis Castle: Dad, it's your first romantic weekend away with Beckett. It's a big deal.

Richard Castle: Okay, well, no pressure, and let's just hope it happens. It's 4:30 now. If she doesn't catch a murder by 5:00, we are in the clear.

Martha Rodgers: So, what do you have planned?

Richard Castle: I... what do you mean?

Alexis Castle: You don't have a plan?

Richard Castle: The plan is to do nothing. To relax.

Martha Rodgers: Richard!

Alexis Castle: That's not a plan. Women don't like it when men don't have a plan. Hey, I'm in college now. I'm living in the world. Plus, I read a lot of magazines. Not planning is really bad.

Richard Castle: Okay...

Martha Rodgers: She's right. A man says "So what are we gonna do for dinner?", pfft, he's dead to me.

Richard Castle: Okay. I will make reservations.

Alexis Castle: Somewhere romantic.

Richard Castle: Right.

Martha Rodgers: And classy, because Kate Beckett is a classy kind of gal, you know?

Richard Castle: Right.

Alexis Castle: Under the stars would be nice.

Martha Rodgers: Oh, and you know what else you can do under the stars?

[Castle sticks his fingers in his ears to nonverbally tell them he doesn't want to hear]

Richard Castle: Okay! La la la la la la la!

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Richard Castle: [seeing a bleeding man stumble into his pool] Call 911.

Kate Beckett: [sarcastic] You think?

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[Chief Brady is taking Castle's statement; he doesn't know Beckett is a cop, and she doesn't want word of their relationship leaking back to the precinct]

Chief Brady: Were you here as well, ma'am?

Kate Beckett: Yeah.

Chief Brady: Name, please?

Kate Beckett: Um, Katherine Beckett. But do you think we could keep that out of the public record?

Chief Brady: Of course.

Kate Beckett: Not that we're doing anything wrong. I just...

Chief Brady: Right.

Kate Beckett: What's that supposed to mean?

Chief Brady: Don't worry, it's the Hamptons. We'll be discreet. We're... we're not interested in your arrangement.

Kate Beckett: Arrangement?

Richard Castle: Chief... chief, uh... I'm... I'm not... I don't... she's not a...

Kate Beckett: I'm not a prostitute.

Chief Brady: Oh, I'm sure.

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Richard Castle: What kind of cold-blooded killer takes a nap on the beach after shooting someone?

Kate Beckett: Castle, I'm on vacation. If I wanted to investigate a murder, I would have stayed in the city.

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Richard Castle: The guy died in my back yard.

Kate Beckett: It's not our case.

Richard Castle: But still, you have admit, as cases go, it's pretty weak.

Kate Beckett: It's still not our case. And if you keep obsessing over this, it's gonna ruin the weekend.

Richard Castle: [pause] So what do we do?

Kate Beckett: Maybe we just try putting it out of our minds, hmm?

[she kisses him]

Richard Castle: Yeah, but what about the gun? They would've found the gun on him.

Kate Beckett: Castle, that's not putting it out of your mind.

Richard Castle: [she kisses him again] You're right. I'm sorry. I'm obsessing. I won't obsess.

Kate Beckett: It's okay.

Richard Castle: Except you said it yourself about not hearing the shots. What kind of meth head, who obviously doesn't know what planet he's on, carries a gun with a silencer? Which, by the way, indicates premeditation.

Kate Beckett: We're not gonna get on with our weekend until you've gotten some answers, are we?

Richard Castle: I'll get the coffee.

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Richard Castle: There has been a homicide out here in the Hamptons, in my back yard.

Kevin Ryan: Seriously, Castle? What, are you in an episode of "Murder, She Wrote"?

Richard Castle: More like murder he wrote. But unfortunately, unlike Jessica Fletcher, the local police chief, not a friend of mine. And I think he may have the wrong guy. So I need you guys to question the victim's wife in the city, find out what she knows.

Kevin Ryan: Hmm...

Javier Esposito: That's a pretty big favor to ask, Castle. We're gonna need something in return.

Richard Castle: The Ferrari.

Kevin Ryan: For a week.

Javier Esposito: Each.

Richard Castle: Seriously? Guys.

Kevin Ryan: [smirking] Hmm.

Richard Castle: Guys.

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Javier Esposito: Hey, did you hear about Beckett's weekend?

Richard Castle: [feigning ignorance] No. Big plans?

Kevin Ryan: She's going away with her boyfriend.

Richard Castle: A boyfriend? Beckett! Really? Who is the lucky guy?

Javier Esposito: For some reason, she's not telling.

Kate Beckett: Okay, seriously, guys?

Richard Castle: Actually, I for one am offended that you're not sharing with us.

Kevin Ryan: Hmm. After all we've been through.

Javier Esposito: Yeah, I think we deserve better than that.

Kate Beckett: You know, I have a couple of ideas about what you guys deserve.

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Lanie Parish: Beckett's boyfriend? Don't you two have something better to do?

Javier Esposito: Actually, no.

Kevin Ryan: We figure Beckett must have started up with the guy during her suspension.

Javier Esposito: Pretty emotional time for her. Bet she needed a shoulder to lean on.

Kevin Ryan: An ex.

Javier Esposito: It would explain why she's too embarrassed to tell us who it is. Makes her look weak.

Kevin Ryan: We're thinking the most likely scenario is that it was the last guy that she was with.

Javier Esposito: Dr. Joshua Davidson. It's him, isn't it?

Lanie Parish: Okay. I get that you don't have a life, Javi, but you're married, Kevin, so what's your excuse?

Kevin Ryan: I...

Lanie Parish: Whoever Beckett's boyfriend is is none of your business.

Javier Esposito: Come on, Lanie. You must know who it is. She went back to Josh, didn't she?

Lanie Parish: Is this how you interrogate people? 'Cause you ain't doing nothing but pissing me off.

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Richard Castle: That's why no one heard the shots. He was shot off a boat, "Godfather" style.

Kate Beckett: And the salt water slowed down his bleeding, giving him enough time to make it to shore.

Chief Brady: So, what, we should try and figure out which boats were in the vicinity at that time?

Kate Beckett: Yeah. So, do we have a witness who we know was on the beach last night?

Richard Castle: You mean someone like our favorite meth addict. MCMURRAY!

[in his cell, McMurray jerks awake]

Chief Brady: Seriously? The guy was whacked out on meth.

Kate Beckett: Yeah, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't remember what he saw.

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Kevin Ryan: So, I took a closer look at Randall Franklin's real estate investments. Guy was buying up distressed properties in dying neighborhoods and turning them into condos.

Javier Esposito: Sounds like smart investments.

Kevin Ryan: Yeah, but he wasn't renovating them. He wasn't leasing them out, nothing.

Javier Esposito: So he was carrying the mortgage but the buildings weren't throwing off any income?

Kevin Ryan: And his wife said that the real estate investments are keeping them flush. It just doesn't add up.

Javier Esposito: You're right. There has to be something going on in those buildings.

Kevin Ryan: Only one way to find out.

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Kevin Ryan: You were right, Castle. Franklin was using his helicopter to move meth to the Hamptons. Looks like you blew this case wide open. Guess you can get back to your writing now, huh?

Richard Castle: Well, there's still the matter of finding out who the killer is.

Kevin Ryan: Yeah, well, I think Brady knows what he has to do. I already told him to look for a local drug dealer who had been feeling squeezed by Franklin's expanding operation.

Richard Castle: Wow, that's a great theory. Nice work.

Kevin Ryan: Oh, thanks, but it's not my theory. Aaron Lerner gave it up when I interrogated him this morning.

[Beckett hurries into the room, a look of horror on her face]

Richard Castle: Aaron Lerner? Aar... uh... so you interrogated Aaron Lerner, too.

Kevin Ryan: Yeah. He's back in the city. Turns out he was Franklin's partner in crime.

Richard Castle: Wow. What do you know?

Kate Beckett: [quietly] Castle...

[the mutter back and forth quietly]

Kevin Ryan: You still there, Castle?

Richard Castle: Yeah. Still here. Uh, what else did Aaron Lerner say? Did he say anything else about... anything else?

Kevin Ryan: Oh, you know, usual. "I didn't do it", "you got the wrong guy". I'm pretty sure he told me everything he knows.

Kate Beckett: [horrified, quietly] Everything?

Richard Castle: Everything, huh? That's good.

Kevin Ryan: Yeah. Good luck with the writing.

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Richard Castle: So, Chief Brady's first time pulling his gun.

Kate Beckett: Uh, Castle, maybe I should go in there.

Richard Castle: You don't have a gun.

Kate Beckett: Yeah, but that never stops you.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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