- Cyrus Beene: James, I can't have a baby with you. Because I already have a baby and his name is Fitzgerald Grant. And my baby is troubled and angry and exhausting, and brilliant and he might actually change the world if I can keep my eyes on him every minute and make sure he eats his vegetables and so I don't have time or the energy or extra space in my soul for another baby, James. I'm sorry. I don't. I can't. I don't have it in me to take care of someone else. Because I'm busy taking care of the United States of America.
- [first lines]
- Olivia Pope: [answering the phone late at night] Twenty three people.
- President Fitzgerald Grant: What?
- Olivia Pope: When you stay late in the oval, there are 23 people that have to stay late, too.
- President Fitzgerald Grant: I'm reading briefs on east Sudan.
- Olivia Pope: They can't go home until you do.
- President Fitzgerald Grant: How are you?
- Olivia Pope: Richard, Jo, Marybeth, Ted, Hank, that guy with the briefcase handcuffed to his wrist, Jose the chef, Kayla, Susan.
- President Fitzgerald Grant: Susan went to the state department, and the briefcase guy is Rashid.
- Olivia Pope: I'm saying that 23 hardworking Americans are staying late at night so you can call me.
- President Fitzgerald Grant: You want me to hang up?
- Olivia Pope: How are you?
- President Fitzgerald Grant: I'm serving up my sentence in the crown jewel of the American prison system. How are you?
- Olivia Pope: Huck, what are you gonna need to take care of this?
- Huck: Uh, latex gloves, a 24-inch bone saw, a skull chisel, an industrial meat cleaver, three dozen heavy-duty trash bags, ten bath towels, a 30-foot roll of plastic wrap, and two black coffees, extra tall. It's gonna be a long day.
- Olivia Pope: I want you to move him, not dispose of him.
- Huck: Oh. Well, in that case, I'll just need, uh, six king-size sheets, and lots of ice.
- President Fitzgerald Grant: Can we just skip to the end?
- Mellie Grant: Excuse me?
- President Fitzgerald Grant: You come in I hear how I'm failing you, I yell, you yell, I feel guilty for yelling at the mother of my children, I apologize, you're cold, and then you leave. Can we skip right to you leaving?
- Harrison Wright: Ma'am, listen, is there any way that I can convince you that cutting pastor Drake open is unnecessary? He was a man of God.
- Coroner: And I'm a woman of the government. The autopsy order came from the US Attorney's office. So he gets the deluxe package.
- Amos Carver: Get out of my way, Cy...
- Cyrus Beene: Actually, I need you to stay out here with me. It's a clearance thing.
- Amos Carver: I'm the director of the CIA!
- President Fitzgerald Grant: Not anymore you're not. I won't be photo-shopped into a war. I want a resignation letter on my desk in the morning. You've been wanting to spend more time with your family.
- [to Cyrus]
- President Fitzgerald Grant: People still buy that one, right?
- Cyrus Beene: Hell, I plan on using it someday...
- David Rosen: That kind of decision's gotta come from way up top. Your boss' boss' boss. I don't even know who that is. You get that high, it's probably not even a person. It's a supersecret brain being kept alive in a bowl of jelly.
- Huck: [standing at AA meeting] My name is Huck, and I'm a an alcoholic. Hi, Huck. I like to drink, uh, let's see whiskey. I used to get paid a lot of money to drink whiskey because I'm really, really good at it. But now it's all I think about The way the whiskey makes me feel And I don't want to be that person, a person who does that, who drinks whiskey for a living, and I just hope that by coming here and t-talking about it, I can stop drinking whiskey. Thanks, Huck.