Meet the Medic (2011 Video)

Gary Schwartz: Heavy, Demoman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Heavy : [the Medic drops the new, and now ÜberCharged, baboon heart in the Heavy's open chest cavity, where it wriggles]  Should I be awake for this?

  Medic : Ah heh. Well, no, heh. But as long as you are, could you hold your rib cage open a bit?

  [he tries to push the heart in] 

  Medic : I can't... seem...

  [suddenly, the heart is shoved in with a crack] 

  Heavy : Ah!

  [a rib has broken off] 

  Medic : Oh, don't be such a baby. Ribs grow back!

  [to his pet dove, Archimedes] 

  Medic : No they don't.

• Heavy : [after receiving his new heart and being fully healed, the Heavy takes a deep breath]  What happens now?

  Medic : Now?

  [Chuckles] 

  Medic : Let's go practice medicine...

• Heavy : [on the operating table, the Heavy laughs as Medic finishes a joke]  Oh-hoh-ho no more!

  Medic : Wait, wait, wait, it gets better. When the patient woke up, his skeleton was missing, and the doctor was never heard from again!

  [laughs again, then pauses] 

  Medic : Anyway, that's how I lost my medical license, heh.

• Medic : [the Medic has Heavy's heart outside his body temporarily while operating, keeping him alive with a medi-gun. He prepares to augment the Heavy's heart with a mechanical device for accepting an ÜberCharge]  Now, most hearts couldn't withstand this voltage, but I'm fairly certain your heart...

  [the heart explodes] 

  Heavy : What was noise?

  Medic : The sound of progress, my friend.

• Heavy : [getting ready to attack an incoming wave of soldiers, the Medic's ÜberCharge is ready]  Doctor! Are you sure this will work?

  Medic : Ha ha ha, I have no idea!

  [he flips on the ÜberCharge switch, making the Heavy invincible, and they advance forward with the Heavy's minigun mowing down soldiers] 

• Heavy : [invincible while attacking the incoming soldiers with his minigun]  I am bulletproof!