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"Being Human" The Trinity (TV Episode 2013) Poster

(TV Series)

(2013)

Quotes

Alex: Look on the bright side. Now you get to do a new rota.

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Hal: Ten minutes is all I ask... supervised, of course. Just so I can do a quick run round with the Hoover and sort out the recycling. Please! This is torture.

Alex: If we wanted to torture you we would show you a picture of the bathroom.

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Hal: This isn't about rehabilitation anymore, this is vindictive.

Tom: You stay in the chair until you're over the blood lust.

Hal: I don't mean the chair. I implore you. Put a screen in front of me, give me a blindfold. No one should have to look at this.

[Looks at the mess the house has become]

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Tom: What do you reckon, is he safe?

Alex: Well a few days ago he stopped shouting abuse and started correcting my grammar again, so... I guess that's got to be a good sign.

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Alex: You of all people don't get to dictate what we tell my dad and brothers.

Hal: What does that mean? Me of all people?

Alex: I'm not letting a good man die of grief just to protect the fucking Twilight franchise.

Hal: We can discuss it later.

Alex: You can discuss it later. With yourself.

Hal: That doesn't even make sense!

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Hal: [about the sign] People on board a ship that's capsizing don't use that many exclamation marks.

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Mr. Rook: Incidentally we're been monitoring this place. Thirty-seven people have committed suicide here in as many years. As far as we can tell it's not werewolf- or vampire-related. But, if you get the job, keep an eye out. Perhaps it's the decor.

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Lady Catherine: If this is a trick I shall plunge this into your calcified heart.

Hal: And you wonder why you're single.

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Hal: Lady Catherine, head of the werewolves. Emil Parsons, dead wizard.

Emil: Necromancer. I was master of the black arts. Sorcerer supreme. Gatekeeper to the forbidden world.

Lady Catherine: How did you die?

Emil: I had to be silenced. I knew too much.

Hal: He fell out of a tree trying to see into his sister-in-law's bathroom.

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Tom: What are you lot doing down here?

Alex: Hal's building a sauna.

Tom: A sauna? Here? That's ridiculous.

Hal: Excuse me, weren't you planning on putting a swimming pool in the garden?

Tom: I said that cos we'd only just met. And you know as well as I do I was really making a bomb.

Hal: Fine. I'm making a bomb.

Tom: Thank you. It's the lying that hurts.

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Hal: My name is Hal. It's Ian, isn't it? I'm sorry, I looked through your wallet. Ian...?

Crumb: Cram. Like the runner.

Hal: What runner?

Crumb: Steve Cram. He was awarded an MBE in 1986.

Hal: I did not know that.

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Hal: But he's a predator! He's only been a vampire for about seventeen hours.

Alex: How was I supposed to know?

Hal: I should have left a clue. Like, I don't know, locking him in a cellar and tying him to a fucking radiator!

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Alex: Can you please stop treating me like I'm made of glass or cobwebs or something. All right, I'm dead. My health and wellbeing has pretty much bottomed out.

Tom: So what am I supposed to do?

Alex: Just treat me like an equal. Treat me like a bloke.

Tom: But you're a lady. And my dad taught me how to treat ladies. Always be polite and courteous, if a lady came in the room, stood up and take off any hats, and if it was a vampire, you staked 'em.

Alex: And I'm sure that growing up in the paramilitary wing of the Amish had many pluses, but I find it patronizing.

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Hal: This is my home. I brought you here last night.

Crumb: Oh god! Have you bummed me?

Hal: I haven't bummed you.

Crumb: You're going to bum me now!

Hal: I have no intention of bumming you!

Crumb: I feel weird. Have you drugged me? I'm allergic to aspirin. If you've given me aspirin then it's actually murder.

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Martin: Your position's up for review. I'm shaking up the whole floor. Separating the wheat from the boys. Bringing new blood in like... well I don't know. Gavin.

Crumb: What, your nephew Gavin?

Martin: Is he my nephew? Well, he's a smart lad.

Crumb: In my Christmas quiz he said alopecia was a mountain!

Martin: So he doesn't know much about plants. Big deal.

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Tom: I've always wanted to work in a hotel. Ever since me and dad snuck into the Bristol Hilton was I was 14. We were hunting a vampire called Radley.

Hal: Radley? I know Radley. Big ginger fellow.

Tom: Yeah.

Hal: How was he?

Tom: Yeah good, until we killed him, obviously.

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Lady Catherine: If this is a trick, I shall plunge this

[stake]

Lady Catherine: into your calcified heart.

Hal: And you wonder why you're single.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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