Richard Castle: My little girl is going to college.
Martha Rodgers: It seems like just yesterday you were checking under the bed every night, promising her that monsters aren't real.
Richard Castle: Well, I lied. Monsters are real. They're the boys in her freshman dorm.
Martha Rodgers: Oh, speaking of which, before Alexis leaves, don't you think you should have the, uh, "talk" with her?
Richard Castle: You mean the sex talk? Mother, I covered that ages ago. I learned so much.
Kate Beckett: Take your hand off your tool, Marco!
[Ryan and Esposito snicker]
Kate Beckett: Shut up.
Richard Castle: [the murder victim has written the word "lie"] A dying declaration. But what does it mean?
Lanie Parish: Hey, that's your department.
Richard Castle: Well, did someone lie to her? Perhaps it's the killer's initials. Maybe a grammatical error; she should have written "lay".
[having gotten Alexis settled into her dorm room, Castle prepares to leave]
Alexis Castle: Hey, dad? I... I know it's been a while, but, um... could you do it? One last time?
[Castle smiles, walks over to Alexis' bed and peeks underneath]
Richard Castle: No monsters.
Alexis Castle: You sure?
Richard Castle: Yeah. And if there are, I'll come running.
Kate Beckett: So Amtrak confirms that Pratt was ticketed yesterday but they can't be sure of what train he was on so we're double checking his alibi.
Richard Castle: Have them check on that cheesesteak, too. There's no way it's the best in Philly.
Richard Castle: [Alexis is packing all of her stuff to take to college] I mean, it's ridiculous. She's got boxes and boxes of stuff. And apparently, all of it's important.
Kate Beckett: Yeah, well, we need all our stuff, Castle. I've got boxes and boxes of it. It's comforting. It reminds me of my past.
Richard Castle: Your kinky past?
Kate Beckett: I've got that box, too.
Kate Beckett: You told Alexis?
Richard Castle: I didn't want to. Mother used her Jedi mind tricks on me.
Kate Beckett: She knows, too? Castle, do they realize what's at stake here? Because if Alexis tells Lanie...
Richard Castle: Alexis won't tell Lanie.
Kate Beckett: Lanie's gonna tell Esposito. Esposito can't keep his mouth shut with Ryan, and Ryan's gonna blow it out of proportion. And then Gates is gonna find out, and we won't be able to work together anymore.
Richard Castle: Trust me, she knows what's at stake. And our secret is safe.
Kate Beckett: What are you doing with two grand in your pocket?
Richard Castle: I'm a best-selling author. Why wouldn't I have two grand in my pocket?
Richard Castle: You know what I love about this case?
Kevin Ryan: What's that?
Richard Castle: Finding a pretty pink bracelet in my belongings.
Kevin Ryan: You know you're gonna have to return that thing...
Richard Castle: I know, Ryan! I know that. I ju... can't you let me have this moment? This one, small "Treasure Island"/Indiana Jones moment?
Kevin Ryan: Sorry. Go ahead.
Richard Castle: Well, it's too late now. It's ruined.
Richard Castle: But it just goes to show you that everyone and everything has a story, including your little stick man there.
Kate Beckett: [taking the figure out of her desk drawer and putting it on the desktop] So... you want to take another shot?
Richard Castle: Actually, no. I thought about what you said, and you're right. Just because we've been... "shaking hands", a lot, doesn't mean that I have the right to pry. So when you are ready, you'll tell me.
Kate Beckett: [smiles] Coney Island.
[Castle leans forward attentively]
Kate Beckett: We, uh... we had a reception at our place after my mom's funeral, and... it was miserable. I was miserable, and my dad took my hand and he said, uh, "Let's get the hell out of here, Katie." And we took the Q train, and we went up to Coney Island. We walked up and down that beach, just enjoying ourselves. We were still in our funeral clothes. And the best part was that we made this little guy out of the twigs and twine that washed up on the shore.
Richard Castle: Does that make that day a bad memory or a good one?
Kate Beckett: Both. He's a reminder that even on the worst days, there's a possibility for joy.
Richard Castle: Nice.
Richard Castle: I so wish I could kiss you right now.
Kate Beckett: Yeah, I know.
[Castle holds out his hand for a handshake, and Beckett takes it]
Richard Castle: This is me, softly touching your face, pulling you in for a long, slow kiss.
Kate Beckett: [stroking the back of his hand with her thumb] And this is me kissing you back, running my hands through your hair.
Richard Castle: Best handshake ever.
Kate Beckett: Yeah.
Richard Castle: I think my hand's getting a little sweaty.
Kate Beckett: I know. It's kind of gross.
Richard Castle: [letting her hand go] Sorry.
Kate Beckett: No worries.
[Castle has won a bid for a storage unit containing evidence connected to the murder investigation]
Richard Castle: You are so going to owe me for this.
Kate Beckett: Castle, I don't know if the department's gonna be able to reimburse you for all of this.
Richard Castle: [whispering] That's not the owing I mean.
[from the junk in the storage locker, Castle has given Captain Gates a collectible figurine freely, but asked Esposito for a financial offer]
Javier Esposito: Oh, you can give her something, but you can't give me something?
Richard Castle: Yeah, you already like me.
Richard Castle: [auctioning for the storage locker] I've only got $2,000.
[Beckett takes Castle's checkbook out of his pocket and offers a blank check]
Kate Beckett: Here. Sign it. Now keep bidding.
[Castle signs the check]
Kate Beckett: [working her way through the crowd] Hi, hi. Big Percy, right? What would it take to get all the cash you have on you?
Big Percy Jenkins: [eying Beckett] Depends on what you offering.
Kate Beckett: [offering the check] How about a check?
[Percy rolls his eyes]
Kate Beckett: No, it's good. I swear. It's signed by the millionaire mystery novelist, Richard Castle.
Big Percy Jenkins: Yeah, right.
Kate Beckett: No, really. He's right behind me.
Big Percy Jenkins: For real?
Kate Beckett: Yeah.
Big Percy Jenkins: My mom loves his books. Okay, I'll give you $1,600, but it'll cost 25.
Kate Beckett: 18.
Big Percy Jenkins: 23.
Kate Beckett: Two grand, and he'll name a character in his next novel after your mom.
Richard Castle: What?
[Beckett elbows him in the ribs to shut him up]
Big Percy Jenkins: Sold.
Kate Beckett: [giving Percy his money] Here you go. Thanks.
[turning back to Castle]
Kate Beckett: We got $3,600. Now make it work.
Joel Pratt: [about a threatening text message sent to the victim] Yeah, I sent it. You bet I did.
Kate Beckett: Well, it sounds like you had a big problem with her.
Joel Pratt: Hell yeah a problem. Wendy's a waitress at my place, Joe's Cheesesteaks. They're the best in Philly.
Richard Castle: [under his breath] "The best in Philly"? That's a tad presumptuous.
Kate Beckett: [catching Castle on her desk phone] Who said that you could answer my phone? And why are you going through my drawers?
Richard Castle: I was looking for a pad of paper.
Kate Beckett: [skeptically] Sure you were. Stay out of my stuff, Castle.
Richard Castle: Your stuff? Need I remind you I've already seen "your stuff".
Kate Beckett: Yeah, well, some of my stuff is still private.
Kate Beckett: Listen to this: Angelica was scheduled for a bankruptcy hearing a week ago, but it was canceled because she made a $2 million payment to her creditors.
Richard Castle: That's right after the insurance company paid her claim on the bracelet. What if... this whole thing was a ploy to commit insurance fraud?
Kate Beckett: [realization dawns on her] "Mission accomplished". That's what Wendell said after the break-in, "mission accomplished".
Richard Castle: Right. He didn't say he actually stole anything. The mission was to make it look like a robbery.
Kate Beckett: And the best way to make it look real, to fool the police and the insurance company...
Richard Castle: Is to actually break in, yet steal nothing. Angelica set this whole thing up.
Kate Beckett: And the only other person that knew was Wendell.
Richard Castle: She couldn't afford to let him or his sister expose her secret.
Kate Beckett: I call that motive for murder and probable cause for a search warrant.
[they look at each other like they want to kiss; remembering that they're in the middle of the precinct, they awkwardly turn away]
Kate Beckett: Oh.
Richard Castle: Oh. Good work.
Kate Beckett: Thank you.
Kate Beckett: I don't get it. All of the evidence, Wendy's murder; everything points to the fact that that bracelet should be in there.
Richard Castle: Well, it's not. I did, however, make some headway on my little stick man theory.
Kate Beckett: Really?
Richard Castle: Yes. Whilst you were still an officer, you risked your life running into traffic to save an old gypsy woman.
Kate Beckett: [skeptical] A gypsy woman.
Richard Castle: An old gypsy woman. To reward your bravery, she gave you a talisman.
Kate Beckett: Mm-hmm.
Richard Castle: She said as long you keep it, no harm will ever befall you.
Kate Beckett: No harm will ever befall me?
Richard Castle: You look all right to me.
Martha Rodgers: [after dropping Alexis off at college] Darling, are you crying?
Richard Castle: No, it's allergies. I... pollen count is high.
Martha Rodgers: Pollen count's gotten to me, too.
[they hug, letting their emotions out]
Richard Castle: Right?
Martha Rodgers: I know.
Martha Rodgers: Alexis' moving out got me to thinking, and after many hours of soul searching, I have made a decision.
Richard Castle: Have you now?
Martha Rodgers: Yes. I have decided, out of the goodness of my heart, that I will continue to live here.
Richard Castle: Rent-free.
Martha Rodgers: Please don't interrupt. I will continue to live here so that you, Richard, will never, ever be alone.
Richard Castle: You'd... do that for me, mother?
Martha Rodgers: It's a parent's sacrifice.
Richard Castle: I have ripped through everything in this room big enough to hide a bracelet. You know what I found?
Kate Beckett: Nothing?
Richard Castle: Absolutely nothing. Save for these wicked nunchuks, which is how I broke the hot dog maker.
Alexis Castle: Okay, one last box and I'm ready for college.
Richard Castle: Sweetheart, this is a lot of stuff. You do realize you don't have to take all of this stuff with you to your dorm room. Like this, what is this?
Alexis Castle: Remember? I wanted to ride my bike without training wheels, like the big kids. And I did, so you got me my very own gold medal.
Richard Castle: Oh. Well, honey, that is... that's a very sweet memory, but your dorm room is only so big. You're gonna have to leave some of this stuff behind.
Martha Rodgers: [entering] Don't listen to him, darling. Everybody needs their stuff.
Alexis Castle: See?
Kevin Ryan: Hey, guys, mother lode. Tax returns. Looks like Johan Fleming's actually Wendell Dupree.
Kate Beckett: That's the same last name as our victim.
Richard Castle: Yes, and the same date of birth, too. They must be twins.
[realization dawns on him]
Richard Castle: Wait. Twins. Of course. It all makes sense now. Wendell's secret identity, Johan Fleming, is the same secret identity of Zan, the male half of the Wonder Twins.
[Beckett, Ryan, and Esposito all look at him blankly]
Richard Castle: Wonder Twins. The Super Friends? Seriously, you guys, do you not watch TV?
Javier Esposito: [changing the subject] If this unit belonged to her brother, then why was Wendy bidding on it?
Kevin Ryan: And why did he stop making payments? And why was he using an alias?
Kate Beckett: Why don't we track down Wendell and ask him?
Richard Castle: [under his breath, as he and Beckett leave] One of you buy a TV.
Alexis Castle: What are you so happy about?
Richard Castle: There is a $4 million diamond bracelet buried in my auction winnings. I'm rich. Or richer.
Alexis Castle: 'Till Detective Beckett takes it from you and returns it to its rightful owner.
Richard Castle: Yes, but not even that can ruin my day, because tonight is my very special "last night before college" dinner with my daughter.
Alexis Castle: About that. Can we cancel?
Richard Castle: What? Whoa. What? Why?
[Alexis shrugs halfheartedly]
Richard Castle: Alexis, we made these plans months ago. Do you know how hard it, even for me, to get reservations at...
Alexis Castle: If it's the reservations you care so much about, why don't you just take your girlfriend?
Richard Castle: [she storms out] Whoa, Alexis... that's not... that's not...
[sound of a door slamming offscreen]
Richard Castle: ...that's not what I meant.
Kate Beckett: Alexis hates me? Is it because we're together?
Richard Castle: I guess she feels like she's being replaced, which is weird because she's never done this before. Not with Gina, not with the hundreds of super hot girlfriends I've...
Kate Beckett: [interrupting him] Okay, I don't need to hear this.
Richard Castle: Right.
Anjelica Henley: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer.
Richard Castle: You don't have to, but you might want to listen.
Kate Beckett: We know what Wendell stole.
Anjelica Henley: That's it, I'm calling my attorney.
Richard Castle: Uh... may I?
Kate Beckett: Yes.
Richard Castle: Thank you.
Kate Beckett: Mm-hmm.
Richard Castle: I've worked a lot of murder cases, waiting patiently for the day I could unequivocally exclaim...
Richard Castle: The butler did it!