Brittany Pierce: [to Wade] That's a great haircut, Mercedes. I thought you graduated.
Blaine Anderson: Brittany, I'm sorry, but I won fair and square. You can't just decide not to sing anymore. We all need your voice.
Brittany Pierce: I had a song in my heart, Blaine Warbler, and you killed it. Now I have a dead song in my heart and pretty soon the corpse of my dead heartsong is going to start to smell.
Wade Adams: [after being slushied] Unique's eyes... they're on fire!
Brody Weston: [to Rachel] In case you were wondering, which you were, I'm straight.
Sue Sylvester: Kitty is my new head bitch. Sue: She's like a young Quinn Fabray, except she's not pregnant, manic depressive, or in and out of a wheelchair.
Jacob Ben Israel: Artie Abrams, lunch room sources tell me you've been sitting with Cheerios.
Artie Abrams: Well, I'm usually seen sitting.
Blaine Anderson: So how's Santana?
Brittany Pierce: She's good. She's just really busy with cheerleading practice and it's hard making out over Skype. You can't really scissor a Webcam.
Burt Hummel: Do you know the difference between this place
Burt Hummel: and New York?
Kurt Hummel: Decent bagels?
Tina Cohen-Chang: Being popular felt too good. We forgot ourselves.
Brittany Pierce: Well, *I* didn't. I was always popular, but I do forget to wear underwear sometimes.
Kitty: [to Kurt] Shouldn't you be in college or something? I thought gay people are all successful overachievers.
Sue Sylvester: Porcelain, this is my daughter Robin. I've loved the name ever since I was a little girl. It recalls hope, and springtime, and my favorite dead Bee Gee.
Cassandra July: I bet you were a big star back in Iowa.
Rachel Berry: Um, actually, I'm from Ohio.
Cassandra July: Ohio? That's even worse. You ever look at a map? Ohio's like a giant turd that Michigan just can't pinch off.
Cassandra July: All right, kids, show me what you got. Ready? Five, six, seven, eight! Welcome to NYADA. This is Dance 101, my name's Cassandra July, and if you are not suffering from severe body dysmorphia, then you don't want it enough.
Cassandra July: What's your name, Muffin Top?
Cassandra July: No, your name's Muffin Top, and from now on its rice cakes and ipecac, or cut off a butt cheek, cuz you need to drop a few.
Brody Weston: [to Rachel] We're actors, right? Our skin is like our paintbrush and our canvas.
Sam Evans: Wade, you can't wear that makeup and stuff in here. You have to understand how this stuff works. It's like Game of Thrones.
Artie Abrams: Yeah, the peace between us and the truly popular kids is weak. Winter is coming. It's not gonna take much for us to get smacked down to the bottom again."
Sue Sylvester: I need you to change Robin's diaper and then sing her a lullaby. Preferably something not yet butchered by the glee club. Good luck finding one.
Sue Sylvester: I'm actually very proud of you, twinkle tush. You're a real trailblazer. You know, it used to be that just straight ex-football players would lurk the halls of high schools after graduation. But you've proven that gay, ex-show choir champs can also be depressive sad sacks desperately clinging to the past.