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"Archer" Crossing Over (TV Episode 2012) Poster

(TV Series)

(2012)

Quotes

Sterling Archer: Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

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[first lines]

Sterling Archer: [coughs] Oh-ho, God. Ugh, no, forget the glass, Woodhouse, just give me the pitcher... for I am a sinner in the hands of an angry god. Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death... which I hope is soon. Amen."

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Sterling Archer: Where'd you learn all that stuff?

Pam Poovey: You know I grew up on a farm, right?

Sterling Archer: Really hoping that's not relevant.

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Pam Poovey: But this time, get in there! All you've been doin' is giving one side hell!

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Sterling Archer: And the last thing you need is another drink!

Lana Kane: Ugh, seriously! How can you be drinking after last night?

Sterling Archer: How can you not?

Lana Kane: Because I don't have a problem.

Malory Archer: [sighs] Well, I do...

Sterling Archer: First step's admitting it, Mother.

Malory Archer: What? Not with drinking!

Sterling ArcherLana Kane: Eh...

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Pam Poovey: That's 150 gallons... of Pam's hot, dirty, ball-slappiney...

Sterling Archer: Ohhhh, god!

Pam Poovey: Come at me, bro!

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[last lines]

Sterling Archer: ...I was here...

Sterling Archer: [drinks] ... half drunk and having amazing sex.

Pam Poovey: Well, I wouldn't say amazing.

[pause]

Pam Poovey: What? Come on, you were pushin' rope!

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Sterling Archer: Did we lose some people?

Pam Poovey: Lana and Cyril bailed! Trifling bitches! Here! Unless you're a trifling bitch too!

[hands Archer a metal Thermos, he drinks]

Sterling Archer: Oh! Agh! What did I just put inside me?

Pam Poovey: Green Russians! It's absinthe and...

[they notice a stripper]

Pam Poovey: milk. Sweet shitsnacks! Look at those!

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Sterling Archer: Sorry, had to go to the bathroom, nothing unusual, just, uh, for you know, normal bodily waste excretion.

Malory Archer: If you're quite finished...

Sterling Archer: Damn near.

Malory Archer: then go home, sober up, and make sure your apartment is secure.

Sterling Archer: Um, why? To all three of those?

Malory Archer: Because, if and when Nikolai shows up, he's not staying at my place!

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Sterling Archer: Who hunts dogs?

Pam Poovey: [off camera] Orientals, duh!

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Sterling Archer: [outside the bathroom] So, uh, hey, hi, I'm, uh, Sterling Archer. You- you may remember me from the strip club and hopefully also from what was hands down the most incredible sex that I've personally ever had. Uh... hello? Oh right, so, uh, I know, uh, we had an- an implied oral agreement about heroin, but...

[Archer opens the bathroom door]

Pam Poovey: Heroin?

Sterling Archer: What-?

Pam Poovey: [on the toilet] That's the last freakin' thing I need!

Pam Poovey: [straining] I'm bound up tighter'n Dick's hat band.

Sterling Archer: Oh no, no, no, not- Wait... were you? Did- did we...?

Pam Poovey: Yeah, we did it and you loved it!

Sterling Archer: [weakly] No, that's not... I can't...

[Archer passes out. Pam strains out a fart]

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Pam Poovey: You make me sound like some kind of chupacabra, but for dicks.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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