[Principal Perry is searching students for banned items]
Bree: [pointedly while presenting her backpack] You're not gonna want anything in here. It's just stuff that improves your hygiene and appearance.
Principal Perry: Mocking my porcelain Irish skin? Back of the line, princess.
Leo: Why, hello there. And how are my highly qualified and underpaid educational leaders doing today?
Adam: Ugh! This hot dog's not even hot! And don't get me started on the fact that it's not even a dog!
Tasha Davenport: I will have you know that Leo has been an exemplary student this year.
Donald Davenport: [scoffing] Who told you that?
Tasha Davenport: Leo.
Chase Davenport: Everyone, just stay calm.
Bree: We ARE calm.
Chase Davenport: WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T BE! WE'RE IN CRISIS!
Tasha Davenport: Leo, what were you doing sneaking in to this nice woman's office?
Leo: Well, I wasn't sneaking into a NICE woman's office. I was sneaking into HER office.
Adam: [bursting onto the principal's office] Bree, what is taking so long... ah, I mean - oops! - this isn't the men's room.
Principal Perry: Why would I be sitting in the men's room?
Chase Davenport: Because anything else would be unladylike.
Donald Davenport: [detained in the principal's office] Quick! Crush that hard drive!
Adam: But you told us "Never use bionics in school."
Donald Davenport: And YET... here we are, so forget what I said and CRUSH IT!
Chase Davenport: What the heck is Parent/Teacher Night?
Leo: It's when teachers tell your parents every bad thing you've done - forgetting homework, skipping class, staging a protest for better bathroom soap. Don't look at me like that. You're all benefitting from my rebellion.