|Page 1 of 4:||   |
|Index||38 reviews in total|
What The Hell Did I Just Watch!?!?!?!?!?! THIS WAS CRAP!!!!!!!!! DO NOT
I don't know why I watched this, I thought it would be funny. I was wrong. The story is of Abraham Lincoln fighting off Zombies. Some of the Worst CGI possible. I could make a more realistic looking Zombie in Paint. Asylum (See what I did there) WHY DO YOU MAKE ME AND OTHERS SUFFER? Plants vs Zombies has a more realistic Story. AND IT DOESN'T HAVE A STORY! I wish I could rate this film less than a 1 but I can't. Again. Don't watch this. You could be spending your time doing something more interesting, like listening to your Grandfather talk about the war or washing your car. Zombies must have eaten the brains of the Script Writers because they obviously have no Brains. Again. DO NOT WATCH!!!!!
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
The Asylum has it's little niche. Doing bad ripoffs of big Hollywood
films on the hope stupid people will buy them from Netflix, Blockbuster
or Redbox not knowing what they are. The term is "Mockbuster",and the
Asylum is the master of it.
Because someone decided to create a movie called "Abraham Lincoln-Vampire Hunter", the folks at Asylum decided that the Great Emancipator didn't have enough people disgracing his memory.
Lincoln leads a team of Secret Service Agents to fight a Zombie outbreak in Savannah Georgia, which also includes running into Pat Garret, Teddy Roosevelt as a child, Stonewall Jackson and John Wilkes Booth. Other than the name dropping, the bad Civil War Re-enactments and other contempt for the audience's intellect, this is a typical cheap zombie movie.
I should point out the makeup work is truly awful. You couldn't tell the protagonists from the Zombies without a scorecard and some of the fake beards were laughable (Especially the aforementioned Stonewall Jackson.)
It's been 40+ years since "Night of the Living Dead", come up with some new ideas, cheap film makers.
Sometimes Asylum films can be little gems of people trying, and sometimes they can be inadvertently funny. This film was neither.
Alright, whether or not "Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies" is The Asylum's
attempt to cash in on the (what looks to become a major picture)
"Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" or not, well I have no idea about
that. But it does seem a bit strange that just prior to the major
Hollywood production release of the latter movie, The Asylum decided to
put this on the market. That being said, then it seems awfully a lot
like what happened with "I am Omega" and the major Hollywood picture "I
am Legend" incident.
Regardless of the reasons for why "Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies" came into existence, then I have now seen it, not because I am American (which I am not), nor because it was with historically important American president Abraham Lincoln, no, but simply because it was something with zombies.
Taking place during the American Civil War, Abraham Lincoln and a selection of twelve secret service agents find themselves facing a threat of the living dead as they attempt to take over a ford. However, the living dead is not the only enemy the Union people are facing.
The story, oddly enough, was actually rather captivating and it managed to keep me interested right up to the very end. The storyline is a bit out there, when you think about it, but then again, isn't anything with zombies that? But that is not what I mean. What I meant was taking a historically important figure like Abraham Lincoln and have him battle zombies with a scythe? (And then later on this year, he will be battling vampires!) But oddly enough, in a comical sense, then the movie actually worked out quite nicely.
Having seen a bunch of previous works from The Asylum, then I can honestly say that they went all in this time, guns blazing and digging deep into their pockets. This movie is such a major step up the ladder, production-wise, for The Asylum, and just looking at the movie on the screen is a testament to them suiting up and stepping up to join the major league of movie production. The cinematography was great, the effects were great, and the people they had cast did great jobs. So it was really a refreshing touch to The Asylum's production value.
As for the zombies in "Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies", well, then they actually looked alright, though there wasn't any major decay going on in them, as I assume they were to be recently deceased, and that worked out okay. The gore in the movie was alright as well, it just enough to keep a gorehound like me interested. And again, it was nice to see The Asylum step up and use better effects and CGIs for a change. However, one thing did puzzle me about the zombies. They opted to stray from the mainstream zombie, and had them standing about in a deathlike-slumbering trance when they weren't agitated by sound. That I found odd, why would they only be attracted to sound? So they had all lost the sense of sight? But again, it is a matter of personal preference I suppose. Some like Romero-style zombies, some like the fast and agile zombies as those seen in "28 Days Later", and some like something else entirely.
I found "Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies" to actually be good entertainment value. There wasn't any scares or real shock scenes in the movie, which would have been nice. But still, if you like zombie movies and wouldn't mind seeing a somewhat comical approach to the take on Abraham Lincoln, then "Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies" is definitely worth checking out.
As for the ending of the movie, well I am not revealing anything here, but there is a twist there in wait. I, personally, didn't really like it, but it was a nice turn of events nonetheless.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
OK, first off, it's a movie called Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies. If you
really expected something serious or good, the title was warning
I guess I was just in the mood for some stupidity. I gave it a 3 of 10, but I have to say, even though it was bad, there were moments I really did laugh out loud. For example, when the little kid is sitting on Abe Lincoln's shoulders and telling him to move left and right so he can shoot zombies on the other side of a brick wall that Lincoln can't see over... Hysterical. The kid's shooting a big old musket, and there is no smoke, no recoil, and he never has to reload it! Just BANG, BANG, BANG... Dead Zombies.
To me, that embodied the whole movie. If you can look past such obvious problems with having reality get in the way of the movie, you might get a good laugh out of it. I mean, after all, it is a zombie movie...
There are two types of zombie movies in my book, the ones where you go "ok, here's the crazy scenario that you might have to face zombies" (like I Am Legend or 28 Days Later), and then there is the "who the heck cares, it's a Zombie movie, let's get goofy." This is the ladder, and as such, it's funny as heck.
But, even for the ladder, it does move a little slow, it's no Zombieland... So, I give it a 3.
This was one of the first recommendations I got from the Cinema Snob
website based on his review of the film and his interview with Bill
Oberst Jr. I wasn't expecting much since its an asylum film, but I
honestly enjoyed it. I found myself drawn to some of the characters
being portrayed and Bill Oberst did an excellent job as Abraham Lincoln
and its a completely serviceable zombie film.
Of course it has its problems. The CGI effects are incredibly cheap looking (duh, its The Asylum, get over it) and the plot is fairly simplistic. Its basically a standard zombie film which includes historical figures. If you can overlook that, then you should be able to enjoy the film without much difficulty.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Come on people, the title says it all. I was truly amazed that some of
the acting was actually well done and not just phoned in, although most
could not act well at all. I am almost certain that most of the actors
were from a civil war reenactment group.
About half way through with the constant historical figure's names being added, I thought for sure we were going to see Fidel Castro. "Come with me Mr. President if you want to survive! I am from Cuba in the distant future sent back in time to assist you." But I guess the writers didn't think of that one.
Someone actually got a decent camera and found someone who didn't have the shakes from cocaine addiction. I would rank this movie's historical accuracy up there with "Inglourious Basterds" 2009 title. I am still pondering how that one got rated so high.
Now for some spoilers, since this movie events are just prior to his Gettysburg Address in July 1863, Pat Garrett born June 5, 1850 would have been 13 years old. Theodore Roosevelt born October 27, 1858 would have been 5 years old. General Stonewall Jackson (the real one) died in a sick bed from pneumonia. Obviously this was an impostor, I could tell by the fake beard.
The dialog was very excessive in abusing historical quotes. At one point, John W. Booth quotes from Hamlet. I am certain there were a multitude of stolen lines. If don't want to pay a rental fee to view this you can currently watch it on Netflix.
Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies (2012)
* (out of 4)
The Asylum's "mockbuster" of ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER finds Honest Abe (Bill Oberst, Jr.) having to fight some Confederate zombies. If that seems light on a plot description then you might want to stay away from this film because that's pretty much all there is. You know, many people attack companies like The Asylum for not having any fresh or original ideas of their own but I've always given them a fair shot. I mean, if we were in the 50s or 70s then the drive-in would have been playing these types of movies each and every weekend. With that said, the biggest sin any movie like this could make is to be boring and that's exactly what has happened here. I think there could have been so many interesting ideas that could have been done in regards to Lincoln going up against zombies. Just take a look at how many lives were lost in the war on Lincoln's command, a film about them coming back from revenge would be interesting. The dead from the war coming back to help win it could have been interesting. What we got here is just downright boring on a number of levels but I think the film was just too silly to be taken serious and it wasn't nearly campy enough to keep you entertained. As you'd expect, the CGI effects were all extremely cheap and the fake gore was just painful. The performances weren't too bad and while Oberst gave a good performance I'd say I still had a hard time believing he was really the president (unlike the real movie). It is funny to note that even though this came out a month before the "real" movie, this here actually featured several scenes that were quite similar so I don't know if that was just a coincidence or what. Either way, ABRAHAM LINCOLN VS. ZOMBIES is a complete bust and not worth watching even with a free rental.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Henry Ford said that history is bunk and this film certainly lives up to this premise.In 60 years as a film fan I don't think I've ever seen such a load of old cobblers,on the other hand it was strangely entertaining,laugh out loud funny with a genuinely chilling climax. Here we have Abraham Lincoln seeing off zombies having already sorted out the vampires in a previous film.What's next,cursed Egyptian mummies,werewolves or even helping Dr Who to sort out the Daleks. Abraham Lincoln himself was fond of telling a tall story so I think he would have been quite amused at the idea. Not going to dwell on the so called plot too much but a film that depicts Lincoln,Stonewall Jackson,Pat Garrett,a young Teddy Roosevelt (bully for you son) Lincoln's ex girlfriend Mary Owens and A.N.Other (I'm not giving this one away) joining forces at Fort Pulaski to destroy zombies shows imagination at least. The ending is quite startling,the more discerning viewer might suss it out but it certainly caught me on the hop. How can one rate such a film,one for being such a load of old rubbish or ten for the sheer cheek and audacity and the laugh aloud moments.I think I will rate it somewhere in the middle and add an extra star for Bill Oberst Junior's convincing take on Lincoln.Was it just my imagination or did he sound very like Robert Duvall?What the heck give it another star for good old Stonewall Jackson's joke shop beard.
Here we have it again, The Asylum ripping off another blockbuster. This
time Abraham Lincoln: Vampire hunter (2012). And by now you all know
what you can expect from The Asylum. Most of their flicks are full of
cheap CGI and bad acting.
This is no exception. Some can act and Abraham Lincoln (Bill Oberst Jr.) was believable but others just couldn't act and them wearing fake beards didn't make it much better.
The zombies looked rather good but still were missing a few things, their clothes were all nicely cleaned. But their faces were okay. Still, there aren't that many zombies to see, only towards the end we do have a horde involving children. When the zombies are being killed it doesn't become gory. The blood and beheadings are done CGI wise, and some CGI is really awful. When zombies are attacking people and getting them to the ground nothing is shown like in those good old zombie flicks. No tearing apart of corpses, no intestines being eaten.
Of course being a low budget it all takes place in one place a so-called fort. Inside there was a lot of talking which didn't add towards the suspense.
The end you could see it coming from miles away.
Gore 1/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 2/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 0/5
The film had a very indy, unpolished look. From a cinematography
standpoint, the film could have used a better audio mixer or even
balanced it. With about another week in the editing room, those things
could have been smoothed out.
On the plus side, there were terrific costumes, the camera boxing by the DP was fantastic and the acting was good overall, but Bill Oberst Jr. was ABSOLUTELY excellent. Loved the story and the way the writers worked in historical lines in the name of butt whoopin, "emancipate this!" They had fun creating it and it showed.
I think The Asylum films bring a MUCH needed levity to an industry that takes itself WAY too seriously. Every release from the big studios are on such a grand scale that the trailers themselves look like they cost a $million plus. The blockbusters are so reliant on "wow" cgi, that character development/creativity and story lines are somewhere in the trunk under the spare tire and jack!
This isn't a masterpiece, but it is fun and I laughed a lot. Well done!
|Page 1 of 4:||   |
|Plot summary||Plot synopsis||Ratings|
|External reviews||Parents Guide||Plot keywords|
|Main details||Your user reviews||Your vote history|