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54 out of 62 people found the following review useful:

Absolutely dreadful and utterly pointless

Author: John Britton (johnnybritton@gmail.com) from Canada
18 May 2012

If, like me, you were cruising through 'new and noteworthy' horror on itunes via Apple TV and thought this looked like it might be one of those rare occasions where you stumble across a hidden gem then be warned, friends - this really is one of the worst movies I have had the misfortune to suffer through in a VERY long time.

I love horror. I love classic horror, indie horror, French horror, Asian horror, even the odd Hollywood horror can cut it - IF it's grounded in something truly unsettling, and treated with respect by its maker. I especially like indie horror. Small budgets don't phase me at all. I recently found the movie 'Absentia' on itunes; low-budget for sure, but made with conviction and despite its shoestring finances it actually managed to pack a wallop.

Unlike this pile of dirt.

The 'plot' (no spoilers) involves an impossibly happy city couple having a little vacay in an un-named backwater town, and running foul of a local boy and his Ma, who are looking to find the simpleton son a mate.

When this started, I was encouraged. Some nice opening credits, and even though the early scenes seemed ridiculously hokey (the set-up of the lead couple and their state of blissful happiness - complete with slo-mo frolicking in a fountain - should really have been my first clue of what was to come) there was some lovely imagery. And I have to say that the small cast does a pretty good job of working with absolutely nothing. That's where my praise ends.

As a director if you are working with a micro-budget, you'd better either have something new to say or at least be able to give us a fresh spin on an old theme. 'Carl' does neither, instead rehashing every cliché from every horror flick concerning small-town hicks and religious nutbars. There's a hick family of indeterminate number (aside from the main 'house of horror' it would seem that the townsolk are in on the plot to do away with the sweet city-folk lovebirds - but really, it's just hinted at and you're never really sure - nor do you really care). This is like watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or The Hills Have Eyes but with none of the panache of the originals - and none of the production values of the remakes. As a viewer, if I am going to invest time and money in a small indie film I really do expect something unique. I am extremely forgiving if you can deliver a movie that makes me think, or at least presents something a little different.

The 'plot' makes no sense, the 'characters' are horribly fleshed out, the narrative is all over the place, the violence is not challenging, rather just a little unpleasant because it doesn't mean anything... and worst of all, it's made with that awful smugness, you know the vibe... where a shot is set up in such a way where the filmmakers truly feel that they have done something amazing, but where really the viewer just scoffs and says 'really?'.

I wanted this to be in the vein of Ty West's 'House of the Devil' or 'The Inkeepers' - neither perfect movies, but at least displaying some affection and respect for the genre - but instead I honestly found myself literally suffering through every horrible cliché and every mis-fired attempt at suspense.

Please, do yourself a huge favour and avoid this catastrophe.

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1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

This movie made me cry tears of blood

3/10
Author: xeophaje-281-694919 from Washington, DC
19 August 2012

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

While not the worst of movies, definitely it is near the bottom of the barrel. It lacks originality or even any ability to scare you. A madman who wears grandmother extra large doily as his mask, seriously makes it difficult be scared and if he was to kill you it would be from the laughter his fashion choices inflicted upon you.

Don't run away from Carl out of fear, do run away from the film named Carl out of having better things to do, like sponge bathe old people, catalog road kill on the highway or examine the indie of your eyelids.

Again not the worst film out there, but also no where near being a b horror flick.

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11 out of 23 people found the following review useful:

what a mess

1/10
Author: Karl Ericsson (karlericsson@telia.com) from sweden
17 June 2012

Artsy-fartsyness throughout instead of plot. Here we are in bullshit-artist heaven. Music? No. Noise? Yes! Not even sleazy. Slash and gore, of course. For nitwits and idiots - others stay away.

However, judging from the way Americans vote, maybe there are people like this out there? But if there is, artsy-fartsy is not the way to deal with it. Here, these people are just dealt with like monsters to be done away with. stay away Stay away Stay Away. Where did the money come from to produce this picture? That's a big question. Another big question is whether I have now produced enough lines to get this review posted? I wonder. The rain is on the roof and the birds and bees and yada, yada, you dada.

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2 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

The movie has the yee haw hillbilly 'i love ya momma' theme, but this time its better!

9/10
Author: copkiller74 from Australia
9 September 2012

Ignore the previous review. This borderline 'b' movie is better than most Hollywood rehashes. Try it, you wont be disappointed, just don't expect flawless acting and you will enjoy.... Quite gory and blunt...thats what horror is all about isn't it?? The previous reviewer must have spent most of his time behind his pillow, dreaming about the next Hollywood blockbuster releases. This film grabs your interest from the beginning and will keep you entertained throughout. Not being a huge horror buff myself, i was surprised as to how entertaining this film was. The ending leaves a little surprise, which is a bonus from such a low budget movie...Enjoy...

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