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Don Jon (2013) Poster

(2013)

Quotes

[last lines]

Don Jon: This fuckin' lady! Now I don't usually like it when a girl looks me right in the eye, and this girl does that a lot. But I don't know what it is about her, when she does it, I don't mind. I just look right back at her, and pretty soon, I'm hard as a fuckin' rock. It's like she knows what I'm thinkin', or I know what she's thinkin'. I don't know, it's a two-way thing. Fuckin' love it! And I don't mean love like, oh I love her or wanna marry her, definitely not thinkin' about all that shit. And she's not either... she can't. I guess I just mean love like, you know like... we're making love. And while we're doing it, all the bullshit does fade away, and it's just me and her right there, and yeah I do lose myself in her. And I can tell she's losing herself in me. And we're just fuckin'... lost together.

Barbara: Movies and porn are different, Jon. They give awards for movies.

Don Jon: And they give awards for porn too.

Don Jon: For the next few minutes all the bullshit fades away and the only thing in the world is those tits... dat ass... the blowjob... the cowboy, the doggie, the money shot and that's it, I don't gotta say anything, I don't gotta do anything. I just fucking lose myself.

Don Jon: There's only a few things I really care about in life. My body. My pad. My ride. My family. My church. My boys. My girls. My porn.

[first lines]

Don Jon: Yeah. Not gonna lie. But this sound makes me hard as a fucking rock.

Don Jon: Money shot? There is no real life money shot. Real girls won't do that shit. You just gotta cum into the fucking condom.

Don Jon: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last confession. Since last Sunday I had sexual relations out of wedlock two times. I also watched pornographic videos and masturbated seventeen times. For these, and all the sins in my life, I am sorry.

Don Jon: I never actually touch my cock 'til I find the right clip.

Bobby: That's her?

Don Jon: That's definitely her!

Bobby: She's a dime!

Don Jon: This girl's more than a dime, bro.

Bobby: There's no such thing. There's a scale from 1-10.

Don Jon: I'm just saying...

Bobby: Oh my god, what are you in love with her already?

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Danny: Listen, I don't like more than a handful of titty. No, no, no, no, no. No. A nice handful, I love it, but more than that, it's like, no! Shit starts to remind me of my mom or something.

Don Jon: Jesus Christ!

Bobby: Yeah, your mom do got some big-ass titties.

Danny: Don't talk about my mother.

Bobby: You brought up your mother.

Barbara: Don't talk about vacuuming in front of me, come on!

Don Jon: Why, what's wrong?

Barbara: Why? Because it's not sexy, that's why!

Angela: I look like a grandmother but do I have any grandchildren?

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Don Jon: You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life.

Barbara: You like movies?

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Angela: [after meeting Barbara] I love her! I love her!

Jon Sr.: Pretty good, huh? Not bad at all!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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