Synopsis for
"Bones" The Warrior in the Wuss (2012)

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Two young men are carrying a canoe through a park and having a friendly conversation when one steps in something ... gooey. It's a corpse, of course. "Help me!" yells the friend. The other backs away, disgusted and terrified.

Back at the Jeffersonian, Hodgins (T.J. Thyne) gushes over his new and very expensive evaporator. "You have a budget that I oversee," Camille (Tamara Taylor) says. "Are these things within your budget?" Counters Hodgins: "Come on! What business doesn't run on credit?" He has a point, but Camille isn't listening. At the park, Bones (Emily Deschanel) identifies the victim as a male. B&B then begin talking about the return of Parker (Ty Panitz), who has been overseas for four months. Booth (David Boreanaz) is in such a hurry to get his son that he ends up sliding down an incline and landing in a puddle ... on top of the missing skull. "Found it!" he yells. "Can we go to the airport now?"

Back home, Parker holds baby Christine -- and the boy doesn't seem overly thrilled to meet his new sister. "You like her?" he asks his dad. Says Booth: "I love her, just like I love you." Parker asks to be alone. At the Jeffersonian, Bones examines dental records and determines the victim was in his mid 20s and has injuries consistent with a stabbing injury. Hodgins, meanwhile, complains to Angela (Michaela Conlin) about the lack of equipment budget. She is having trouble getting a match on her facial reconstruction machine. Clark (Eugene Byrd) enters with news: the victim was likely wearing lifts, which added a few inches to his height. Angela recalculates and gets a driver's license match: a man named Tony Cole, who was recently reported missing by his wife.

Later, Booth and Sweets (John Francis Daley) interview the wife, who is distraught. She explains Tony's work was really getting to him. A competitor named Carl (Evan Helmuth) had begun to hone into Tony's trucking route. Plus, Carl made fun of Tony's height (hence, the lifts). Clark then finds the fragments of a weapon in the wound consistent with a metal instrument no less than seven inches long. B&B drive to visit Carl and talk about Parker, who Bones notices is having adjustment issues. Booth dismisses her claims, but thanks his partner for her concern.

B&B find Carl holding court in front of a group of truckers and telling fishing stories. "Tony got himself murdered," Booth says. "Rumor has it you wanted him out of the way." Carl denies killing his competitor, then opens his truck to reveal hundreds of pieces of hardware that match the murder weapon. Back at FBI headquarters, Sweets brings Booth news: Tony, the day before his death, got into a fight with his young son's karate teacher. The son then made a 911 call. Sweets then interviews the boy, Danny (Lorenzo Peter Benet), alongside his mother. The boy explains he tried to beat up the karate instructor's kid to impress dear old dad, but got beat up. Dad, who had an inferiority complex, then charged into the gym and challenged the teacher. Danny, who has terrified, called 911. The next day, Tony said "wasn't done ... He said he would keep fighting for me."

Hodgins, in the meantime, identifies the murder weapon fragment as stainless steel. Camille then summons Angela, asking her to help convince Hodgins to return some of his expensive equipment. The Jeffersonian, it turns out, has not been immune to funding cutbacks. Angela declines, explaining she can't waste a marital manipulation on something like work funding. Fair enough. Booth then returns home in the middle of the day to find Parker missing. The boy then returns, explaining he has been out exploring the woods. When Booth gently reprimands the boy for ditching his babysitter, Parker says, "I'm not a baby. Christine is the baby."

Booth then gets a call from Booth, who has found very specific and precise bruising on the victim. B&B both immediately suspect the karate teacher, who may have fought Tony for a second time. The partners then visit the dojo and talk to the instructor. He admits to threatening Tony, but claims not to have fought him. "The point of what we do here is to make violence unnecessary," the instructor says. "He came here last Thursday and I never saw him again." Back at the Jeffersonian, Bones and Angela analyze a training video starring the karate instructor and determine his hands and feet are far too large to have made the bruises on the victim's body. In fact, the bruises are small enough, the injuries might have even been made by a child. Hmmm.

Later, Hodgins examines a worm found in the victim's stomach. It's a worm typically found in the bottom of a tequila bottle. Complaining a new machine would allow him to accomplish his job in half the time, Hodgins cuts open the worm to reveal waste made from soil. "This little turd could be our Rosetta stone," says an excited Hodgins. Back at B&B's house, Bones comes home early to discover Parker is once again missing. In the boy's room, she finds a destroyed radio controlled car, her lab coat and an empty frame which used to have a picture of Bones and Christine.

Booth and Sweets then return to the dojo to discover the instructor's child is a girl, Blake (Peyton Roney). A state finalist for the past three years, Blake explains the victim stopped her on her way home from school. Tony apparently said "because my dad wouldn't teach me the difference between right and wrong, that he would." Blake then warned Tony before punching him. Hence, the bruises. "I would never use a weapon," she says. "It was self defense." To prove it, Blake shows a video shot on a friend's phone and then put on the Internet. The video is very, very embarrassing for poor Tony.

Back at the FBI office, Bones tells Booth about the "evidence" in Parker's room. He is distraught and agrees to talk to his son. Later, Bones and Clark examine the victim once more and determine he was stabbed from the front, but the weapon was pulled out from behind, thus leaving the fragment of metal. "That's impossible," says a frustrated Bones. Hodgins then returns with news of the worm turd: the soil particulates indicate the worm originated in Mexico where a tequila producer is located -- and only three bars in the area sell that particular brand. And one of those bars is directly on the victim's trucking route. "How many of your machines did it take to figure this out?" Camille asks. Says a smiling Hodgins: "All of them."

Later, Booth and Sweets drive to the bar. On the way, Booth tells Sweets about Parker's outbursts. Sweets urges Booth to talk to his son. Simple enough. "You're not your father, Agent Booth," Sweets says. "You're a good dad. It'll turn out better than you think." Booth and Sweets then enter the bar and talk to the bartender, who explains Tony was there on the night of his death, having a few drinks. Soon, others in the bar began to watch the Internet video and tease Tony, who flipped out and started threatening the customers.

Back at the lab, Angela examines the viral spread of the video and finds out much of the outburst leads back to the address of Carl, who sent it to every one of Tony's customers. At the diner, Booth asks Bones to help him talk to his son. "We need to do it as a family," he says. Bones smiles. Booth has a brainstorm: the victim was killed with a hooked fishing tool. He wasn't stabbed from the front. He was stabbed from behind with a hooked instrument. Carl is an acknowledged fishing enthusiast. It all fits. So B&B visit Carl and discover said fishing tool ... with blood on it. "It was self defense!" Carl says. "That little bastard couldn't take a joke!"

Case closed, but not the episode. Parker denies all wrong doing. He explains he loves his sister. "You're ruining everything!" he says. "It was supposed to be a surprise!" Sure enough, Parker has made a mobile above the baby's crib with badges from B&B's uniforms, photos and a motor from a smashed remote control truck. Christine laughs. Booth hugs his son. It's a family moment.


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