- Walden looks for ways to spice up his lackluster love life with Zoey, including a batch of Berta's "special" brownies.
- Walden feels Zoey doesn't truly enjoy sex with him and lets Alan convince him that's a bad sign. After a painful episodes in both senses to prevent her daughter Avan, whom she was reluctant even to present, finding them in bed, Walden hesitantly tries Berta's space brownies, which get him high, Zoey almost paranoid. Jake and Eldrigde also had a batch, so they keep looking for Zoey for a $100 reward long after she sobers up. After Ava's English father Nigel drops her unexpectedly, Walden wins her over in a single zoo visit. That also proves the key to overcome Zoey's sexual insecurity.—KGF Vissers
- Walden tries to loosen up Zoey by sharing a couple of Berta's special brownies.—CBS Publicity
- 'Two and a Half Men" - "Duchess of Dull-in-Sack" - Feb. 6, 2012
Walden and Zoey awaken and she's alarmed it's so late. She wants him to leave before her daughter gets up. He wakes up but offers his morning erection to her. She declines. He says at some point he'll have to meet her although he feels like he already knows her since he's familiar with her portal into the world. Her daughter runs in and wants to snuggle and Zoey sends Walden into the closet. She has Ava close her eyes and shoos Walden out. He then has to hide under the bed when she opens her eyes. She comes back for her teddy bear but still doesn't see him since he's jumped up on the armoire. He falls down hard and realizes he's no longer got his morning wood.
At breakfast Jake asks Alan if he's dating Eldredge's mother again and wonders if he'll get married. Alan says the only reason to do that would be to have kids and since they both already do and had so much success there's no point. Jake thought it might be cool if he and Eldredge were brothers and switched places to fool people. Alan points out that that only works with twins. Walden walks in with a funny gait. Alan asks what happens and Walden says he was perched on a dresser and he fell on his penis. As you do. Walden explains. Alan says it's common for single moms to resist having kids meet the new guy. Walden confesses it's not just the kid stuff. He asks Alan if he's ever been in a relationship where both people are really into each other but the sex isn't as good as it could be. Alan says yes, except for the really into each other part. Walden says Zoey seems like she could take it or leave it and after their last romp she said "that was nice, now let's do something fun." Alan figures it's better than "put your pants back on and let's get back to the family reunion." Alan counsels Walden to talk to her about it because it won't get better on it's own.
Walden invites Zoey over for a sleepover during a video chat. He also says if there's anything he can do to make her happier he will. She asks what he means. He says sex and she immediately clams up says she can't talk about that and certainly not on a computer. He assures her no one is listening and we cut to Berta in the kitchen, listening. She can't even say sex. He says there are things they can try like role-playing and he tries on the old pool boy routine-- with a British accent--but she fails to see how him cleaning her imaginary pool would be erotic. They table the conversation when she says their carnal interludes are just fine.
Berta asks if everything's okay. Berta blames her English-ness and says he should date a nice Polish girl because Commies are freaks. Walden says he just wants Zoey to relax. Berta says she's the opposite and can get off just leaning against the dryer with sneakers in it. He realizes that's why his Nikes are so clean. She offers to give him some of her special brownies but Walden says he doesn't want to get Zoey loaded to enjoy sex with him.
Later in bed after watching a Hugh Grant movie Zoey tries, sort of, to entice Walden into getting frisky. They keep going back and forth about if either of them actually want to do it. She says she does and tries, lamely to do the pool-cleaning boy role play. He then asks if she likes brownies.She eats them but instead of getting horny they make her incredible paranoid and she thinks she hears police cars...from France. She runs by Eldredge and Jake on the patio, they too have found the brownies.
Walden strikes out while looking for Zoey on the beach. Eldredge and Jake offer him pizza. He says he has to find her before something terrible happens. Then he is distracted by how awesome the pizza is and goes to search the beach again. Jake says they need to find Zoey and wonders where a stoned, freaked out person might go. Eldredge thinks maybe Taco Bell. They decide to go. But don't actually get up. Walden is heard in the distance calling for Zoey.
Alan comes home and Zoey has raided the fridge for cookies, ice cream and potato chips. He asks if she had one of Berta's brownies. She confirms she did. She asks where Walden is, explaining in her stoned state that they're supposed to be having "good sex." She says she does enjoy it but it's hard to give herself to a man she doesn't yet completely trust. But when she does she has multiple orgasms especially if you spank her bottom as she rides you like a Vespa. Alan says he'll try to pass that along. Zoey heads off to bed but before she goes she says she knows she hasn't always been warm to him but that's because she doesn't really care for him. Alan thinks it sounds nicer said in a British accent. Walden returns.
Walden brings Zoey home the next day. She apologizes for getting goofy and says she does like sex. He says that's good because he won't stop til he gets to Paul Revere: "The British are coming! The British are coming!" They're making out at her door when her ex-husband Nigel opens it and introduces himself. There's no love lost between Zoey and Nigel. Even though it's daddy's weekend he's dumping Ava off they start to bicker and Walden has her take him inside. Nigel and Zoey fight while Walden and Ava hit off famously. She declares herself queen and dubs him Sir Schmidt. They head to the zoo. When they return Ava is zonked. Zoey says he was wonderful with her. Walden says it's time to go. But Zoey has different plans, to take him into her bedroom and bang him like a snare drum. He likes this plan.
Walden returns home and reports to Alan that he met Ava and had the good sex. Alan thinks she opened to him about her trust issues. Walden just thinks zoos make her horny.
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