Harvey Specter: Something told me you'd need it, and by something, I mean common sense. And by need it, I mean you're an idiot.
Harvey Specter: Get your tux on. We got a situation.
Mike Ross: Uh, a situation that requires a tux? Where, where is this tuxedo situation?
Harvey Specter: Atlantic City. Can you get dressed now?
Mike Ross: Uh, yeah I could.
Harvey Specter: But?
Mike Ross: I don't have a tux.
[Harvey makes a face]
Mike Ross: I'm not Bruce Wayne.
Harvey Specter: Don't I know it.
Harvey Specter: What happened with Judge Fullman?
Jessica Pearson: There might be a slight problem.
Harvey Specter: What did you do?
Jessica Pearson: Why do you assume I did something?
Harvey Specter: What did you do?
Jessica Pearson: There was a prank.
Harvey Specter: How bad was it?
Jessica Pearson: We went to law school together and I got her drunk.
Harvey Specter: So?
Jessica Pearson: She woke up in front of the entire econ law class.
Harvey Specter: That's recoverable.
Jessica Pearson: She might have been naked.
Harvey Specter: Might have?
Jessica Pearson: Was.
Harvey Specter: We're screwed.
Jessica Pearson: Come on, Harvey. She was uptight, I just straightened her out. That's what you do with uptight people.
Harvey Specter: Well why didn't you ever do that to Louis.
Jessica Pearson: I did.
Harvey Specter: That was you? He blamed me.
Jessica Pearson: You can be uptight sometimes too. That's why I let him think it was you.
Harvey Specter: Told him it was me.
Jessica Pearson: That's what I said.
Harvey Specter: That's okay, I deserved it.
Jessica Pearson: What?
Harvey Specter: You remember when he was so mad that his cat peed in the corner of his office?
Jessica Pearson: Mhmm.
Harvey Specter: That wasn't his cat.
Mike Ross: You didn't tell me you were bringing me here.
Harvey Specter: And that's a problem how?
Mike Ross: I'm sort of banned from here.
Harvey Specter: For smoking weed?
Mike Ross: Counting cards. I mean I was smoking weed, but they banned me for counting cards. My brain just does it. I can't help that it keeps track!
Harvey Specter: And that's your defense?
Mike Ross: It was three years ago! I was broke.
Harvey Specter: Which is it, your brain just does it or you were broke?
Mike Ross: What are you, some kind of lawyer?
Harvey Specter: Get inside! You're wearing a tux, they're not gonna know who you are.
Harvey Specter: You think this happens if you walk in here in a t-shirt and jeans?
Jessica Pearson: No. No, I'm here same as everyone else, to contribute to your re-election campaign. Actually, I already did. Pearson Hardman is now a platinum-level donor. Go Fullman!
Ella Fullman: I know what you're doing.
Jessica Pearson: Of course, you don't have to disclose this, and neither do we. But I am of the opinion that elections are about truth, and truth requires openness.
Ella Fullman: You think you can get me to recuse by implying conflict of interest?
Jessica Pearson: You know I hadn't thought of that.
Ella Fullman: I'll simply return the money.
Jessica Pearson: That is certainly your prerogative. But it could look like you took money for favors and then got scared. No one forced liquor down your throat, Ella. You got drunk, we played a bad joke, but that was a long time ago. You know a man's reputation is at stake, and I'm not joking with you now.
Ella Fullman: That was a good speech. Got me right here. The only thing is you said "we played a joke." There was no "we," it was you. You targeted me.
Jessica Pearson: What do you want me to say? I was young. I was stupid. And I'm sorry.
Ella Fullman: You were young and smart. And I don't believe you were sorry for a second, because it was no accident that the classroom you chose belonged to the professor who was conducting the interviews for the job we both wanted.
Jessica Pearson: I had no idea.
Ella Fullman: You sabotaged me.
Jessica Pearson: There were dozens of applicants.
Ella Fullman: No, we both know it was you or me.
Jessica Pearson: I didn't know that he...
Ella Fullman: Objection. Bullshit.
Jessica Pearson: What do you want, Ella?
Ella Fullman: I want to recuse myself. On one condition- admit you know what you did.
Jessica Pearson: I wanted that job. I know what I did. I'm not sorry I did it. And I'd do it again.
Harvey Specter: We have three choices here
[counts on fingers]
Harvey Specter: We move forward with the suit, lose-lose. We can give you your money back, plus the five hundred thousand. Or you and I can play poker for it.
[flips Walsh off]
Harvey Specter: And I'm not giving you your money back.
Harvey Specter: Pick a card in your mind. Any card.
Mike Ross: What, okay, what now are you gonna tell me what the card is?
Harvey Specter: I'm going to tell you what it isn't. It's not one of the fifty-two cards in the deck. Because you think you're smarter than me, it's a baseball card or football card. Or it's the joker. I told you this before and I'm going to tell you again, I don't play the odds, I play the man.
Mike Ross: Well let me tell you one thing.
Harvey Specter: What?
Mike Ross: Louis bugged your office. He heard our whole conversation about Tanner's lawsuit and he ran and he told Hardman.
Harvey Specter: There's gonna come a day, Louis, when I need something from you. And when I do, you're gonna remember that I let this pass. Daniel Hardman is not the answer. You owe me.