Harvey Specter: You really wanna come after me again?
Travis Tanner: I'm not moving down here for the sushi.
Harvey Specter: 0-2 doesn't look good on a resume.
Travis Tanner: You know, I'm thinking upper East side.
Harvey Specter: Well why don't you check out the corner of 81st and Kiss My Ass?
Louis Litt: No sex of any kind. Weakens legs, clouds your judgment. Got it?
Mike Ross: I'm not sure I do.
Louis Litt: Good.
Mike Ross: Okay.
Louis Litt: No sex.
Mike Ross: Okay.
Louis Litt: No sex!
Mike Ross: Got it!
Donna Paulsen: I don't like having my competence questioned.
Harvey Specter: Yeah, and I don't like being sued for fraud.
Mike Ross: Hey, he said I can't have sex while I'm working with him. Is that really his call?
Harvey Specter: Well, he is your commanding officer.
Mike Ross: [about Louis] He's like the captain of mixed metaphors.
Louis Litt: Where you going?
Mike Ross: I, uh- just have to go back to the bathroom.
Louis Litt: You just went.
Mike Ross: Are you keeping track?
Louis Litt: I may start.
Harvey Specter: Don't be cocky. It doesn't look good.
Mike Ross: [clears throat]
Harvey Specter: On you. I can pull it off.
Mike Ross: Louis, can I be honest with you?
Louis Litt: Yeah, I can keep it real.
Mike Ross: As far as poisoning the well goes, Harvey didn't really have anything to do with it. That's pretty much all been you.
Louis Litt: What are you talking about?
Mike Ross: Among other things, you tried to sabotage my relationship with Jenny.
Louis Litt: After you laughed at that video of me.
Mike Ross: You stuck me in housing court.
Louis Litt: 'Cause you stole a client from me.
Mike Ross: You tried to blackmail me with a fake drug test.
Louis Litt: Yeah, but it didn't work. You defeated me.
Mike Ross: So?
Louis Litt: So it's water under the bridge.
Mike Ross: No, no no, not water under the bridge. Louis, you can't do that to people and expect them to forget about it and move on.
Louis Litt: They should.
Mike Ross: Would you?
Mike Ross: Kevin, trusts and estates?
Donna Paulsen: No, it's too meek. It's gotta be a woman. Who is it?
Harold Gunderson: Harold. I need a stapler.
Donna Paulsen: I was right.
Louis Litt: This is my associate, Mike Ross. He was busy, uh, drafting some pertinent documents. Motion to dismiss, motion to compel, motion to strike, motion to change venue, and we have another half dozen in the pipeline.
Mike Ross: No, they're here.
Louis Litt: Oh.
Durham Foods Attorney: What is this? This was supposed to be a settlement conference.
Louis Litt: Oh, we're not here to settle. We're proceeding to trial.
Durham Foods Attorney: You want to take this case to trial?
Louis Litt: Um, unless I can't hear the sound of my own voice, I believe that's what I just frickin' said.
Durham Foods Attorney: We're the little guy. Your parent company's a behemoth. A jury's gonna hate you.
Louis Litt: Well, thanks to your disgusting smears in the media, that might be true, which is why we're also filing a countersuit for libel, slander, and anything else that might be appropriate in this case.
Mike Ross: Tortious interference?
Durham Foods Attorney: This is - you got- this is not good faith, Mr. Litt.
Louis Litt: Sir, you have besmirched the good name of Liquid Water, and if you think that we're here for a settlement conference, well, let me just correct that one for you right now. We are not settling. We will not be settling. In fact, the only thing that's settling here is the sediment at the bottom of your putrid water. Get me? Now be sure to take that Grand Central shuttle like I told you, okay? I think you're gonna love it.