Mike Heck: Church was turning into a hostage situation. The man would not stop talking.
Axl Heck: Dude, this place already kicks our church's ass!
Frankie Heck: Axl!
Axl Heck: Sorry. "Church's butt".
Brick Heck: Maybe your business is spending more time with your little brother. Think about it. You'll be going off to college in 1 to 3 years.
Axl Heck: Huh. Maybe you're right. Maybe I should spend more time with the less fortunate. Like how Jesus chilled with the lepers.
Sue Heck: Um, how old is he exactly?
Mr. Jennings: Fourteen. But we don't trust him to stay home alone.
Sue Heck: Oh, hold on. I'm not sure...
Mrs. Jennings: Now, there's a few basic things you should know. He can't drink pop or he will freak out.
Mr. Jennings: And absolutely no ice of any kind or he will freak out.
Mrs. Jennings: And don't let him watch anything too violent.
Mr. Jennings: Or even too colorful.
Mrs. Jennings: Or he will freak out.
Mr. Jennings: And he has to put on his pull-ups before bed, but you can't call them diapers or he will freak out.
Mrs. Jennings: They're his space pants.
Mr. Jennings: Okay, well, then, that's it. We'll be home around ten.
Mrs. Jennings: Oh, uh, one more thing. Tyler thinks he's babysitting you, and if he finds out that you're babysitting him, he will...
Sue Heck: Freak out?
Mrs. Jennings: Big freakout.
Mr. Jennings: Huge.
Axl Heck: Rematch!
Brick Heck: I've already given you a hundred rematches. I'm retiring my paddle.
Axl Heck: Okay, just hear me out. If you beat me, I'll do your homework for a month.
Brick Heck: Thanks, but I'd like to see the fifth grade.
Axl Heck: Okay. I won't make you do my homework for a month.
Brick Heck: Throw in this guitar pick, and you're on.
Axl Heck: Fine. But what do you want my pick for?
Brick Heck: Oh, I like to lick it. This way I don't have to do it in secret anymore.