- Arlene Fowler: Who knew watching an alien give birth could be so comforting?
- Lafayette Reynolds: Are you kidding me? It's always the weird stuff that's the best.
- Eric Northman: You will not feed on Sookie.
- Nora Gainesborough: What is she?
- Eric Northman: She's a waitress.
- Jason Stackhouse: I'm coming with you.
- Eric Northman: Oh sweetie, don't be a fool.
- Jason Stackhouse: If I wanna be a fool, then I will be a fool. That is my God-given right as an American.
- Jackson Herveaux: Worst part of being a parent: no matter how hard you try, you can't keep your kids from eventually learning what a shit hole this world is. How corrupt, mean, arbitrary... You just wanna shield them from it, let them believe life is safe and fair. Bad gets punished, good gets rewarded. Because if they can believe that, you almost can too. But if you yourself end up being the one to teach them how fucked up things are... That's a hell of a thing to ever come back from.
- Nora Gainesborough: How could I have lived for so long and never encountered a fairy?
- Eric Northman: Because the only thing you ever cared about was rising up the ranks of the Authority. Overachiever.
- Nora Gainesborough: Well, somebody had to do something to make Father proud.
- Eric Northman: It must kill you that he loved me more.
- Nora Gainesborough: It kills me that you think he did.
- Jason Stackhouse: Something funny, fanger?
- Eric Northman: Yes, bloodbag.
- Jason Stackhouse: Leech.
- Eric Northman: Breather.
- Jason Stackhouse: Dead fuck.
- Eric Northman: Meatsack.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Stop acting like children.
- Jessica Hamby: They're religious fanatics, both of them.
- Pam De Beaufort: Well, I can totally believe it about Bill. He's always looking for something to feel guilty about. But Eric, no way.
- Jessica Hamby: I'm telling you, they're worse than my uncle who started his own church. He told my cousins there was no Santa Claus when they were little just so that Jesus wouldn't have any competition.
- Pam De Beaufort: Eric has always made such fun of religion.
- Jessica Hamby: Not in here. It's like they're in a cult. You know, their eyes get crazy. And you know how crazy feeds crazy? They want to conquer the world and they're just crazy enough to do it. And it doesn't matter how many people get hurt or killed.
- Pam De Beaufort: One of the worst things about being immortal is having to watch the same stupid scenario happen over and over. It's usually the humans, though. Guess this proves we're just as fucking retarded as they are.
- Jessica Hamby: I still can't believe Eric and Bill weren't even gonna warn Sookie Russell Edgington was coming after her.
- Pam De Beaufort: Must all roads lead to fucking Sookie?
- Jessica Hamby: They were just gonna let him drain her, all because according to their vampire Bible, she's an abomination.
- Pam De Beaufort: Maybe there's something to this religion after all.
- Andy Bellefleur: Oh, hey, Miss Bodehouse.
- Jane Bodehouse: Andy, Jane, please. Haven't we slept together by now?
- Andy Bellefleur: I don't think so.
- Jane Bodehouse: I think we slept together at some point. In the woods.
- Andy Bellefleur: Nope, wasn't me.
- Arlene Fowler: Andy, you slept with Jane Bodehouse? When?
- Andy Bellefleur: No, she's drunk!
- Jane Bodehouse: I am.
- Holly Cleary: This doesn't seem too hard for you. I'm guessing this isn't your first pregnancy.
- Maurella: 73 times since I first discovered how.
- Arlene Fowler: [Watching Maurella] Yeah, well, for a normal red-blooded American human, giving birth ain't nothing like that.
- Lafayette Reynolds: Hell, she make me want to do it.
- Rosalyn Harris: As usual, everything falls to me. I can't ever find anybody. Compton and Salome are off buttering each other's biscuits half the time. You know, I hate to say this, but ever since Roman cashed in his chips, the work ethic around here has just gone straight to hell.