Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 2 (2013 Video)
Batman: I didn't have to go easy on you. A different binding agent, a stronger mix... I want you to remember that. I wanted to remind you to stay out of my way. In all the years to come, in your most private moments, I want you to remember the one man who beat you!
Batman: No more! All the people I've murdered...
Batman: ... by letting you live.
Joker: [Spits blood] I never kept count.
Batman: I did!
Joker: I know. And I love you for it.
[Slashes Batman's chest]
Joker: It's finally here, isn't it? The moment we've both dreamed about!
[as Joker's about to stab Batman through the eye, his vision blurs]
Joker: Oh, don't tell me you're gonna fall asleep before we finish? You have gotten old, haven't you?
[Batman punches Joker off him and throws him against a wall, choking him]
Joker: Not quite how I imagined it, but we can still end on a high note!
[Joker stabs Batman in the torso three times while laughing maniacally. Batman twists his neck enough to paralize him but not kill as two witnesses run away]
Joker: You're in trouble now... Go ahead. Say this has never happened to you before.
Batman: Shut up...
Joker: Make me! Come on! Finish me!... Ah, doesn't matter. I win. I made you lose control. Heh-heh-ha, and they'll kill you for it. Eh-heh-heh! See you... in hell! Ah-ha-ha-ha!
[Joker twists his own neck to kill himself]
Batman: Tonight I am going to maintain order in Gotham City. You are going to help me. But not with these. These are loud and clumsy. These are the weapons of cowards.
[snaps rifle in half]
Batman: Our weapons are precise and quiet. In time I will teach them to you. But for tonight, you will rely on your brains and your fists. Tonight, we are the law. Tonight, I am the law.
Superman: What are you doing? Do you want me to kill you?
Batman: Oh, you're not going to kill me. Now.
[Oliver Queen fires a kryptonite arrow at Superman, he grabs it as it explodes in his face]
Batman: It wasn't easy to make, Clark. It took years and cost a fortune. Luckily, I had both.
Batman: You say you answer to some sort of authority. They only want me dead because I'm an embarrassment. Because I do what they can't. What kind of authority is that?
Superman: It doesn't matter. It's their world, and they won't stand for you anymore. If it isn't me, it'll just be someone else.
Batman: Really? Who do they send after you?
Joker: [after Batman throws a Batarang in the Joker's eye, partially blinding him] Are you out of your mind?
Batman: I'm through playing, Joker!
Joker: Be still, my heart.
Alfred Pennyworth: You're not even close to fully recovered.
Bruce Wayne: Neither is he.
Alfred Pennyworth: He doesn't need a walking hospital bed to keep his insides together.
Bruce Wayne: I know you're not looking forward to your part in this.
Alfred Pennyworth: I can't say it will be pleasant. But it does fall within my duties.
Batman: He'll still be weak, between the nuke and so little sunlight. Just how weak we'll see when he finds my first surprise.
Robin: Yeah, but how long you expect to last against him?
Batman: Long enough.
Robin: Boss. I'm trying to get the plan here. I mean, you gonna die tonight or what?
Batman: Figure I will.
Joker: That's why I'm gonna kill everyone in this room.
David Endocrine: Okay. I think that's a little more insight than we had in mind.
Dr. Bartholomew Wolper: It's okay, he doesn't really mean that. He's just trying to ease the tension.
David Endocrine: Funny way to go about it.
Dr. Bartholomew Wolper: You have to remember, this man isn't responsible for those killings. He's merely a victim of the Batman's psychotic obsession.
Joker: I thought I was Batman's psychotic obsession.
David Endocrine: So you think the Batman's the real sicko here.
Dr. Bartholomew Wolper: Without a doubt. He's an obsessive-compulsive, narcissistic hero-complexed sociopath. I would love a shot at him as a patient.
Joker: [holds up coffee mug] Do guests get to keep these?
David Endocrine: Heh. Sure, you do whatever you want with it. We got a closet full of them.
[Joke smashes the coffee mug and slits Dr. Wolper's throat]
Joker: So long as you won't miss it.
Carrie Kelley: How do you fight someone like that?
Bruce Wayne: Simpler than I've made it. There's nothing wrong with Joker that I can't fix. With my hands.
Commissioner Gordon: The groceries? Now?
Sarah Essen Gordon: Wanna eat tonight?
Commissioner Gordon: I'm going.
Sarah Essen Gordon: Be careful. And no cigars.
Batman: Ever ride a horse before?
Robin: Don't think I've ever seen a horse before.
Batman: You're about to learn fast.
Bruce Wayne: What is it you want, Oliver?
Oliver Queen: A piece of him. The schoolboy. I always knew it would come down to the two of you someday. The world's not big enough for the both of you. Doesn't have to be a big piece. Just count me in, for old times' sake.
Superman: [to Robin] Isn't this a school night, young lady?