2.6/10
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49 user 27 critic

Keith Lemon: The Film (2012)

Keith Lemon (Leigh Francis) is preparing to take his invention, the securipole, which he has been attempting to lift off the ground for twenty years, to a business convention in London. ... See full summary »

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
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Keith Lemon / Evil Steve
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Douglas Orange
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TV News Reporter
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Waterbot Salesman
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Kushvinder
Jimmy Reddington ...
Man on Bridge
Kim Barry ...
Woman on Bridge
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Delivery Man
John Render ...
Hoodless Harry
Paddy McGuinness ...
Gary
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Barman
Abigail Hamilton ...
Auntie Fanny
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Buster (Hoodie)
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Storyline

Keith Lemon (Leigh Francis) is preparing to take his invention, the securipole, which he has been attempting to lift off the ground for twenty years, to a business convention in London. Meanwhile, his girlfriend Rosie (Laura Aikman) has discovered that she is pregnant, but due to Keith being away, instead confides in his best friend, Dougie (Kevin Bishop). At the convention, the securipole fails to attract any big investor attention, and back at home, an order of 1,000,000 securipoles arrives, much to Rosie and Dougie's dismay. Realising that his invention may never be successful, and that he now owes Evil Steve (Leigh Francis) a ton of money for the securipoles, Lemon decides to stay in London, and takes the advice of fellow businessman Kushvinder (Harish Patel), and accepts the gift of a new style mobile phone that Kushvinder has invented. Attempting to turn the gift into his next money-making scheme, Lemon accepts an offer to appear on David Hasselhoff's prime time television chat ... Written by Anonymous

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Ooosh! Bang Tidy! See more »

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Comedy

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Release Date:

24 August 2012 (UK)  »

Also Known As:

Keith Lemon - Der Film  »

Company Credits

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1.85 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

The film is available in both an uncensored and censored version. See more »

Quotes

Kelly Brook: [to Keith Lemon] Oh, disgusting!
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Connections

References The Big Breakfast (1992) See more »

Soundtracks

Cherry Pie
Performed by Warrant
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User Reviews

 
Beyond bad - and also a little bit odd
4 September 2012 | by (United Kingdom) – See all my reviews

I went to see this film because I was fascinated.

I don't think I had ever seen such appalling reviews anywhere before. Every now and again you get a 0% score on rotten tomatoes but even then it's rare for everyone to actively hate a film in the way that people have hated this one.

Like a lot of people on here, I am a massive fan of Celebrity Juice and I just couldn't imagine that it could be that awful. Was there some kind of conspiracy? The answer is no. There's no conspiracy. It really is that bad. It's so bad that watching it gave me the kind of red neck that you get when something appallingly embarrassing is happening but there's nothing you can do about it. I couldn't look at the other patrons in the eye on the way out. It was like we'd all just watched sex with a domestic animal and now felt unbelievably ashamed. I don't know why I didn't walk out really - except that I wanted to say I had seen it, perhaps because I wanted to be able to review it fairly...

So anyway, it's bad film. I can try and write synonyms for bad but I think that others have probably done that better than I could here.

The reason I have created this profile to write this review is because I think there's something a little odd here on IMDb. Has anyone noticed the 10 star review by smr1-466-127649? 10 stars? No one could possibly give that film 10 stars. Not even a 12 year old who might well laugh at some of the more puerile stuff could possibly give it 10 stars.

Clicking on smr1-466-127649's profile we see that he has reviewed 2 films, both in the last 2 days, both hilarious revisions of two of the worst movies in the last 5 years. He gives Last Airbender 7 stars (OK he's not someone who gives awful movies 10 stars for the sake of it) and then goes on a rant about Keith Lemon and how much he's being victimised by people.

Surely the only person who can feel like this is someone associated with the production of the movie. On a day when E J Ellory is outed as having written reviews of his books on Amazon I do hope we're not seeing something similar here on IMDb.

Perhaps the most weird thing about this whole affair has been Leigh Francis's own reaction to the reaction. Scanning through a couple of episodes of CJ, it's clear that he thinks the film is really something. On his twitter account, he describes going to the premier (and actually watching that tripe with other human beings)as being "like a dream". (Fans of In Bruges will find this very funny.)More worryingly, he seems to demonstrate the kind of misogyny that his character Keith Lemon uses (presumably ironically) with his friends Wiloughby and Cotton on normal members of the viewing public - calling one girl who doesn't like him a "horse". Not cool. In addition to that, he goes into a kind of twitter strop, flouncing away for four days before coming back and abusing others who say that his film is awful.

I hope we're not seeing someone have a small breakdown over the critical reaction to his work. If so he needs to get a grip and accept that what he has produced is excrement. It's nasty, homophobic, small minded and if he thinks that Keith Lemon is the remotest bit sympathetic he needs to have a good think about his values in life. This is a terrible film and perhaps he would do well to acknowledge it somehow.


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